Earn it

Moving forward

Chapter 17

Yeji

Turns out that I would've figured everything out easily had I just asked. I don't know why my brain seems to short-circuit when it comes to Ryujin.

I've learned more about her in one night than I did for the several months that I've lived with her.

To be fair, it's been a roller coaster road I've been on.

When she asked me out, I was nervous and excited. I didn't want to get my hopes up as I wasn't really sure how she feels about me. Heck, I don't even know how I feel about her but I know it's something different.

While preparing, I contemplated it one more time.

I have never dated or been with anyone romantically. I mean, there were a few guys at home who've confessed but I just didn't feel the same way towards them as I do for... dancing, for one. Even Soobin doesn't look appealing to me physically. He is a good dancer, for sure. But that's the only difference between him and the other guys from Jeonju.

They don't excite me.

But Ryujin does.

She makes me lose my control. And I am someone who loves to be in control.

I pause when she says I look tired and need rest, I laugh when she laughs, I feel light and safe when she's around. And I look for her when she's not.

The thought that I have never felt this way towards Karina - my best friend for many years whom I love like a sister - pretty much says it. But I hadn't made peace with it until Ryujin opened the conversation about dating during dinner.

The way she looked at me when she said she's not interested in Lia as she got her eyes on someone else now... sent me shivers.

That's when I decided to jump the gun and tell her I don't know anything about relationships. I was terrified that it'll scare her off, plus the crying when she said she'd be my home here. But she just held tighter. And that's when I gave in.

I like her a lot.

Not in a way that best friends or families do. My heart looks for her.

And I think hers looks for me, too.

The morning after our dinner, I woke up late and heard everyone already eating breakfast in the kitchen when I came out of my room.

Our classes are scattered this week because of the nearing dance off so we talked about having breakfast together in the group chat. Lia didn't reply, assuming she still doesn't want to talk to anyone now. So I wasn't able to hide my surprise when I saw her sitting on the dining table in between Ryujin and Yuna.

"Hey", Ryujin instantly saw me.

"Hi", I said back, immediately causing a smile.

Chaer fake-coughed and I had to look away and find my place on the table.

I greeted Chaer and Yuna, too, once I'm seated. I looked over at Lia and saw that she's looking down, focused on eating.

But when I stood up to get water, she did, too.

"Yeji", she quietly called out to me when we're both facing the other side of the kitchen. We're still very visible but I think she intentionally wants to talk to me alone.

"Lia", I said back. I don't know but her presence makes me so nervous.

She paused for a couple of minutes, looking down and I waited for her patiently.