Double Trouble (A Loki /Tom Hiddleston Fanfic)

Ice and Fire

"I love you"

The words hung in the air between them. She felt relieved and sick with fear all at the same time.  It was out in the open, no more hints, no more passing glances.  It was said and she couldn't take it back. She didn't want to.

Loki didn't speak, he just sat there, immobile, staring. His heart raced, his mouth was dry. Why dammit? He'd longed to hear her say this, imagined how it would feel. Dreamt wild, hot, fiery dreams of taking her in his arms and showing her exactly how he felt. Loving her. Reality was much more intense than he ever expected.

It was terrifying.

He had never felt so out of control in his life. He feared for his sanity. All concern about what he looked like to her gone, now he wrestled with a surprising new facet to his mind. For the first time ever, he felt he was betraying someone. Tom. After the fight and reconciliation, after all the difficulties on both sides, it made him hesitate. And that was his biggest fear. Hesitate and lose her. Rush in and lose Tom.

"Carrie, I.." he looked at her, kneeling before him. He held her gaze, unsure for a second but then it dawned on him. He couldn't lose her again, no matter what it cost him. Why? They were soulmates. Something he had dismissed as childish fantasy. Now, thanks to his beloved Mother he knew differently. In her heart she would always be his.  He would always be hers. He knew now he had to tell her.  Explain everything.

She started to cry, he'd sat for a full 3 or 4 minutes looking at her but saying nothing. She had got it so, so wrong. What a fool. She'd ruined not only their last evening but also their relationship, all because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. She had truly expected him to say it back. What a sad pathetic fool she was. This was Loki. He was a Prince, a God. He had helped in their hour of need. Nothing more. She had blown his flirting and teasing all out of proportion. Let one kiss turn her head completely. She had almost lost everything for nothing at all.  Now all, even his friendship, was lost. "I-I-I'm sorry Loki" she whispered, her eyes bright with tears, her voice cracking. "I'm so sorry. I'm such a fool." She stood up and turned away, her hands covering her face.  She crossed over to the window and looked out into the darkened garden, her reflection looking at her accusingly.

He came out of his reverie with a start. What had she said? She was sorry? For loving him or telling him? And why the hell had he let her think he didn't love her?  He was the fool, he'd waited too long. He stood up and crossed to her. She was still facing away, her shoulders shaking as sobs wracked her small body. 

Carefully, he turned her to him, gathering her into his arms. Even puffy eyed and crying, she was captivating.

"Oh Carrie,  my sweet little Midgardian, I am the fool. Not you. " he tipped her chin up and gazed into her eyes, feeling his soul leave him and fly to her.
"Do not cry Little One, you are as precious to me as air. I cannot live without you either. " he stopped and looked as her face changed from misery to wide eyed wonder." There is something you should know...  he held her in his arms as he explained what his Mother had told him.  Under other circumstances, it might have sounded outrageous, a lie to bed her, a story to take advantage of her feelings.  It wasn't though and after all they had been through, she knew it.  It made perfect sense.  She felt absolved of all - well almost all - her guilt.  She COULD love them both.  But she couldn't have them both.  And that was the trade off, one she wasn't prepared to make just yet. 

"So no matter what happens" she breathed, standing on tiptoe to kiss him, "I am yours, body and soul, for always?" 

"Yes and I yours Little One, although our bodies may be parted. Our souls remain forever joined, " he smiled, his thumb wiping away the last of her tears.  Then as he bent towards her again, whatever happens after tonight he thought, I am indeed content.

His mouth found hers and their bodies pressed together instinctively . She moaned softly, her desire suddenly a growing knot in her stomach.  His touch drove her further and further towards the precipice. She moved her head to one side, breaking free of his lips,

"Oh God... Loki... please" she managed to scrape words together at last. Her hands raking his back, grabbing fistfuls of raven hair as he held her. She could feel every inch of his body, taut and muscular.  She desperately wanted to see it now in his current form. He would never know how close she was to completely coming undone there and then in his embrace. She put her hands on his chest to steady herself.

He pulled back carefully, unsure, 
"Stop?" He asked gently " please speak now, for if you wait too long, I fear may not be able to . I want you my darling. So very much, but I want you to be sure. If we do this there is no turning back. It can never be undone" he looked serious for a moment and she laid a hand on his cheek, softly stroking it, fingers tracing the raised silvery lines on it.

"Darling, I have none now and will never have, any regrets. I would only regret a chance not taken. You are my fate. You are my love. You say I am your Queen, then show me how you would treat her.  Love me my Jotun King" she whispered in his ear as she kissed his cheek, her breath hot on his neck. He groaned, tipping his head back, the muscles in his jaw flexing. He scooped her up in his strong arms and carried her to the bedroom.

They made love slowly, sensually. Each took time to love the other, revelling in the delights of a lover finally found. The connection they hadn't till now admitted they had, finally fulfilled.

He was as skilful as he was magnificent. She lost herself in his world of sensuality, of touch and taste and ultimately of pleasure. Moaning his name like a prayer, she felt him bring her to climax time after time, a deep fire igniting within her that only his icy touch could quench. His body on hers was as cool and hard as she had imagined, perhaps even more so. She returned the favour, showing him how deeply she felt their connection too. He shuddered and groaned under her touch, calling her name over and over at his release.  This was not raw and animal, this was passionate, emotional and on a level unlike anything either had ever known, or likely would again.

As they lay in the half light of early morning, their limbs entwined, Carrie looked over at the sleeping form next to her. His hair draped across his face, his face still a dazzlingly beautiful hue. She smiled at her King.
"I will always love you" she whispered softly, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"And I you, my Queen" he opened one eye "always" he smiled, wiping away the tear and  tucking his hair back " and since it has been a few hours, I think I need to show again you how much" he rolled on top of her. "Last night.." he trailed off
"Was beautiful" she answered smiling now, her eyes glittering now, not with sorrow, but re-ignited passion.
"Like you" he leant down and smothered her lips with his hungrily.
This time, it was hot and fiery and passionate. This time they just needed to feel each other. If last night was ice, this by all the Gods was fire.

"Oh Carrie"  he whispered in her ear as he nuzzled her neck, " you have no idea the things I want to do to you", his mouth settling on her neck, his lips cool and his tongue hot against her skin.

"Then show me" she gasped as desire flooded through her. It would be hours before they slept again, safe in each other's arms. Exhausted but sated, every nerve tingling, every inch of them bathed in sweat. In desire.

He woke first and drew her a perfumed bath.  Then he carried her to it, her arms around his neck, her face buried in his raven hair. He knelt, placing her gently into the warm water and washed her carefully, worshipping every beautiful curve.  Without speaking, as they looked into each other's eyes and soul, they knew they were bonded forever. They had to find a way to live with that despite being worlds apart. Easier said than done. But find it they must, as Loki had said, there was no turning back now.