JOKES ON YOU (Five Hargreeeves FanFiction)

2.7 Öga for Öga

Y/N'S POV

Five and I traveled to 1982 to where a board commission were having their meeting.

"Excuse me" Five talked to the lady in front.

"Uff da. You snuck up on me there." She said surprised. "If you're looking for the cookies, we don't put 'em out till 3:00."

"We can wait" I said smiling innocently, grabbing Five's hand.

"Oh what a cute couple" She said in aww.

"Uh, do you happen to know where the Midwest Soybean Society is meeting?" Five asked trying to sound not too demanding.

"Sure do. Muskellunge Banquet Room. You looking for your mom? She in for the convention?" She asked.

"Yeah. We were about to ask my mom for a change 'cause we want some snacks in that vending machine, but we don't want to interrupt them." I said sadly.

"Well, don't ya' worry kid, I have some coins here" She said smiling and offering us the coins.

"Thank you so much" I said faking being excited , grabbed the coins and dragged Five.

I handed Five the coins and he put it in the vending machine but the chocolate got stuck making him go on a rampage while I just yawned. Not until he broke the glass of the machine by kicking it. Five grabbed my arm and started to walk, pretending like nothing happened.

I swapped the icing cake that we walked by and tasted it. Five grabbed the axe that was hanging on the wall. We entered the room where the board was.

"You!" The fish said. "Call security"

Five walked past the woman that was on her way to call the security. "Hi" I said standing in front of the telephone and did a spinning wheel and took out Diego's dagger that I stole from him and stabbed her head.

I grabbed the nearest one in front of me and stabbed through the head again. I was enjoying it but Five already killed them off.

"Looking handsome tadpole" I said standing behind him while Five stood on the table in front of him.

"She sent you, didn't she?" AJ asked, terrified.

"Whatever she offered you, I will double it, triple it."

"We're not doing this for money."

I looked behind Five and saw the lady at the front about to tackle him but I threw the dagger and it went straight in between her eyes.

With this, AJ escaped while we just watched. Five teleported in front of AJ, he was about to turn around and run again but I quickly flew behind him.

"Surely we can come to some form of agreement that benefits both parties. Quid pro quo? What do you say?" AJ said turning to Five trying to convince him.

"Why not? Here's your quid." Five said hitting AJ with a bat. "Here's your pro." He said hitting him in both his knees. "Here's your quo." And finally, he smashed his tank head.

"You move to fast, only killed 3" I grumbled and grabbed the fish, throwing it inside the plastic with water that I found earlier while flying towards him.

2 girls walked out the event room and saw the both of us covered in blood- mostly Five, but they just ignored it and walked back inside.

"We having kill counts now?" Five sighed.

"No. I know you'll win." I said walking to him and fixing his tie.

===

We arrive in an alleyway still bloodied from the killing.

"Well" The Handler arrived. I stood looking at him but Five is the opposite. I threw AJ at her and she caught, crackling. "You know, you're really starting to fill out those tight little shorts of yours." She said to Five but got nothing. "Why so quiet? Thought you'd be buzzing after this morning's slaughter."

"Are you going to give the briefcase or not?" I said impatiently.

"All this killing... I'm done with it." Five said looking at her.

"What? Am I supposed to take that seriously?" The Handler said taking out a handkerchief and wiping some of the blood from Five's face.

Why is no one talking to me. I need more friend or am I a ghost now.

"What I did today, I did for my family. I did it to save the world"

"Please. Spare me your little assassin with the heart of gold routine, will you?" She said grabbing to briefcase and handing it to Five. "Here. Per our agreement, this will get you and your siblings back to 2019. You have 90 minutes." and walk away.

"You said nothing about a time limit."

"Actually, you have 89 minutes and 30 seconds. Better hurry."

"This is impossible, okay? My siblings are scattered across the city."

"Nothing's impossible. You proved that this morning when you killed the board."

"I need more time."

"Any more time, and people will start asking questions. The sooner you get home and out of this time period, the better off we'll both be, so, ticktock, ticktock." With that, Five teleported away without me.

What the fuck

"Oh, you're still here" She said turning to me.

"Seems like you survived the bullet, but making your head all wooney. Should I finish you right now?" I smirked.

"Not without his permission, I bet" She smirked back. "Very rare to see him leaving you. Is this what your marriage has become?" She chuckled.

"Like you would know" I said standing in front of her, "You never experience some sort of Love. All fake like your affection for little Miss Lila." I chuckled. "Oh! I'm sorry, she's not that little anymore ever since you ordered to kill her family and trained her to be your magic weapon." I added as the handler just looked at me confused. "I know everything. You forget what I'm capable of" I whispered the last part and turned invisible, floating away to Morty's.

---

With many many turn, realizing that Morty's are far, I quickly flew, I found Five throwing the briefcase up the air, making it explodes.

"What's happening?" I asked, turning off my invisibility and standing in front of them.

"Where have you been?" Five sneered walking in front of me. "You should be here! In this spot! helping us to gather the family!"

"Five-" Luther tried to intervene.

"Morty's far." I said facing him. "You teleported without me! How would I know!"

"We were that close! that close! I thought that you'll make my life easier, but no, you're also one of them, useless" He said walking out.

Overwhelmed by his outburst, my tears suddenly streaming slowly. "Oh God" I mumbled, turning myself invisible and floating up the roof.