Jin's Mistake • KSJ

Forty Two

You refused to believe he was dead, your body collapsing over Seungho's chest, your cheek pressing against his neck, feeling no pulse, his chest not rising with breath. The thought that you'd never hear him speak again, never feel his comforting touch was impossible to accept. How many times had you taken for granted his quiet presence in your life? Now it would always be as silent and empty as this moment.

Someone was suddenly lifting your body, your hands grasped Seungho's shirt but they twisted you to the side roughly, material ripping away as you moved. You couldn't even scream, the unbearable sorrow was choking you, drowning you. If someone was supposed to die over this it was supposed to be you. It was never supposed to be him.

He'd been protecting you and keeping you sane since your very first dinner alone. He'd told you to be a better actress, but you'd never learned to play the part well enough. Now his blood soaked the carpet and he was utterly unmoving on his back, eyes staring without seeing, gone from you forever. How would you ever learn live with it?

"There's no way you could have pulled any of this off behind his back. Pretty smart of him to play the outraged husband, it might have worked if he hadn't given away his cover at the last minute trying to protect you."

Kyulee was speaking as if everything was just a boring drama on the television and not a very real murder on the floor of his brother's house. You felt rage in every pore you wanted to rip his skin from his face with your nails.

You were on your knees, stumbling to your feet when Dongbin subdued you face down on the carpet his foot at your back, forcing the air from your lungs with a grating cough. Your tears were renewed with frustration, complete vulnerability knowing you couldn't do anything to fight back.

"Everyone here hates you, even if they do what you want, they all secretly hope you'll die." You hissed the words cheek pressed against the rough fiber, but from your prone state they were ineffectual, even laughable.

"Fear is a beautiful thing Y/N-ah, if they don't want to give me their loyalty willingly, I know I still have it implicitly. And anyone who was considering otherwise, thanks to Seunghoshi, is no longer." His triumphant grin made you clench your nails into your palms, bloody already from being pressed to Seungho's wounds.

You could hear shifting from your family, some sounds that could have been sniffles or murmurs of concern. You'd been so consumed with terror and dazed from the shots you'd not noticed anyone else's reaction to the violence.

"Now that the theatrics are out of the way, what are we going to do with you?" Kyulee looked to Jaehyun who despite his previous bravado was slightly paler. You had a feeling most of the leaders of the family were several layers removed from the real violence.

"I believe with time and supervision she could be reformed, I know it's a bold suggestion but has she not secured the permits as instructed for years? Filed the appropriate paperwork? Have any of the shipping containers been turned away?" You father was speaking, shock pulsing through you at his plea of mercy for you.

"Reformed? How do you suggest we realign her with the goals of our family Baekmin?" Kyulee rolled his eyes, and your stomach dropped.

You'd rather they kill you, his plan to spare your life sounded like a call for torture. Isn't that what it would take to flip someone? Physically train them into submission by behavior modification?

"Then we just keep her locked up until we figure things out. If she ends up dead the CIA could choose to act on the information she's passed along. We need her alive to correspond with them, altered to our specifications of course."