Jin's Mistake • KSJ

Twenty Three

"Aein, are you okay? I'm so sorry." Seungho knelt holding you against his chest again. You could feel it cleave with his shaky breaths.

Your face throbbed and your split lip felt raw and sharp but aside from that you felt alright. Already the little pill you'd swallowed was ebbing against the pain, leaving warm fuzziness in its wake.

With Seungho's help you stood and he walked you over to the bed where you sat staring at the floor. What had your life come to that you had to let your husband pretend to beat you to avoid being actually assaulted by his father? At what point had you been so compliant that you thought you lived in a normal piece of the world? Tears started falling and you angled your body away so that it wouldn't add to the immense guilt you knew he already felt.

You watched as he tossed his tuxedo jacket onto the chair followed by his belt then turned back to you. While he turned off the lights you crawled across the bed and he laid down in his spot. All at once you closed the distance laying against his chest, his linen dress shirt soaking up your tears. His arms came around you and held you tightly against him. You could feel the breath in his lungs, the steady thump of his heart.

"I can't ever do that again, I'll think of something else next time. I won't hurt you or be like him." His voice trembled with emotion and you wondered what it must have been like to see his mother treated that way.

That he could see that growing up and still become kind and gentle brought even more tears to your eyes. You could trust him, you knew that, the doubts from earlier fading away. As good of an actor as he was this was raw emotion, nothing that could be faked. His lips pressed to the top of your head and you squeezed your arms around his ribs.

"You didn't hurt me, I'm okay."

"I did, and I feel sick about it Yeobo, you looked scared of me and I still did it. What kind of man does that make me?" You lifted your head, Seungho had laid his forearm across his eyes, but you could tell by his pinched tone he was crying.

"One that was brave enough to take a risk to avoid a bigger one. There's going to be things we both do in the coming years that we'll regret. But I'm by your side and you're at mine, so we'll just figure it out." You moved his arm saying the words firmly but compassionately while you looked into his dark wet eyes.

"You're not disgusted by me now?" He looked so vulnerable, you couldn't even speak again, you just shook your head and kissed him softly, the pain in your lip returning.

"Don't do that, you'll make it hurt again." Seungho cupped your unbruised cheek and laid your head back to his chest.

"I think the medicine is making me sleepy." You didn't hear his response, the warm pull of the drug taking you under.

~

The next morning you woke to a blaring headache and shooting pain in your face. For the first seconds your eyes were opened you were confused but reality slipped back quickly.

You were laying on Seungho's empty pillow, but you knew he hadn't gone far, you saw the light in the bathroom and heard the sink shut off. After a moment he returned to the bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist, chest bare.

"You should rest a little longer, I'll have a maid bring food in for you." He avoided looking at you his eyes taking in the lamp, the clock.

"I need to go to breakfast, your father needs to see you have put me back in my place." He turned slowly and winced, you must look terrible you realized, but his face looked worse. It was clear he'd not slept very well, worry and wretchedness marring his handsome features.

"You can probably cover it with make up for work." Seungho breathed out the words stepping a bit closer.

"I'm going to work from home a few days, I figured we could use this as fuel." You held out a hand hoping he'd sit down next to you but he didn't even notice your gesture.