Fake Love Turned Real [ A Barson Fanfic]

23

Olivia's POV

A little over a week after the adoption, I woke early. I was anxious and felt sick to my stomach. Today was one day I never expected to experience, and now that it's time to find out the sex of our baby, I felt the pain from losing Javier.

"The alarm hasn't even gone off yet." Rafael spoke, as he pushed himself up into bed. It was about 4:30 am and I was already showered and standing in front of my closest.

"I know." I whispered.

"Baby, are you okay? You never get up this early." My husband frowned as he slipped out of bed and moved to where I stood. I felt as his hands ran over my hips, but I stopped him before he could touch my midsection.

"I don't wanna be touched, Rafa. I'm sorry." I whimpered before turning and hurrying back to the bathroom. 

"Please don't lock yourself in there and cry. Sit in the bed and talk to me. Whatever is bothering you, I'm sure it is bothering me, too. Okay?"

"Last year, we were told we may be able to see what Javier was. But now, I'm twenty weeks pregnant, and have that chance again. This time I'm going to actually make it to the doctor's office, hopefully... but what if we get there and our baby is gone?"

"Honey, our child is alive and well. Wasn't he bouncing on your bladder and kicking your lungs all night?" Rafael asked softly as he kept his distance from me.

"I-i think so... but I can't remember." I whispered, my voice cracking.

"Let's try to wake him up and see if he's still willing to beat you up." Rafael smiled.

My husband got me back to the bed and had me lay down. He went and got me a glass of water had me drink it before we waiting. It took a few minutes, but eventually the baby started to shift around and punch me. Every single movement that I felt made me cry, but I felt so much more relaxed.

"Thank you." I whispered, and Rafael smiled.

"Don't thank me, it's my job to help you out. That's what I signed up for."

///

We took the girls to school before heading to my doctor's office. Rafael took the long way so we wouldn't have to drive past the courthouse this morning. We needed all the good vibes we could get, and going past the place I lost our son didn't make me feel good at all.

I went through the usual intake tests before being sent to a room for the anatomy scan. Rafael was finally able to join me, and he was busy texting someone.

"Can I ask who you are texting?" I mused, as I swung my legs and kept my eyes locked on the door.

"My mistress." Rafael spoke, and I quickly looked at him. He had a smile on his lips and I let out a weak sigh.

"Babe, please don't tease me about that. I know you didn't do it to be mean to me, but I still wonder why you choose to stay with me." 

"I stay with you because I love you, Livvie."

"Then who are you texting?" I asked.

"Ma. She asked about how we are doing together, especially since we never actually made it to this appointment last time. I also told her that you were worked up and anxious this morning."

"Oh." Was all I said.

We waited for a little bit longer before the tech came in. She greeted us before getting right into the exam. She was able to show us the baby's head and their tiny hands and feet. Everything was looking great, before getting into what we were really there for.

"When I read your chart, last time you were expecting a boy. Correct?"

"Yeah." Rafael frowned before kissing my hand softly.

"Now you will have one and one." She smiled, and I looked at her in confusion.

First, if she read my file, she'd know that Javier had passed away after the accident. 

"What?" Rafael asked.

"Your son-"

"Our son is dead." I snapped, and her eyes went wide with horror before she looked back at the screen and swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see that on your chart... but, what I was saying is that you are going to have a girl."

I looked down at where the wand was still pressed against my belly and felt as tears burned my eyes. I was excited to be having a healthy baby, boy or girl. Now that I know it's a girl, I kinda feel almost disappointed in myself. I had a chance to give Rafael a son that he'd actually be able to hold, but I didn't.

Now he is completely overrun by girls.

///

We told the girls that night about their baby sister, before I went to lay down. I slept for a little bit, but mostly cried. I didn't leave the bedroom for dinner, and Rafael just assumed I was sleeping so he didn't check in on me until he came to bed himself.

"Hey, did you just wake up?" He asked gently, as he slipped in beside me. I shook my head as tears slowly slipped down my cheeks.

"I've been awake for a while." I sniffled.

"Are you crying?" Rafael asked, before quickly reaching to turn on his lamp. When the room was brightened, my husband could see the tears on my cheeks and the darkness of my pillow case where it had grown wet with my tears.

"I'm sorry."

"About crying? Olivia-"

"For crying and for giving you another daughter. I know you wanted-"

"Liv, I want a healthy baby. One that looks like us. I don't care if it's a boy or girl, because I'm excited either way. This time around, we could even honor my mother and abuela if we wanted." Rafael smiled as he gently caressed my cheek.

"So, you don't hate me? I was certain we were having a boy."

"I could never hate you, so please don't hate yourself either. Maybe we are meant to just be girl parents, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Rafael breathed. He leaned in and kissed me softly before pulling me close.

"I love her, Rafa. I really do."

"Good, because she loves you too. You are probably her favorite person since she hears you speak and is always soothed by your heartbeat."

After talking to Rafael and being wrapped in his arms, I really accepted the fact we may never end up with another son. But that no matter how many girls we have, they will be the absolute love of my life and be such an important part of our family.