Fake Love Turned Real [ A Barson Fanfic]

15

Olivia's POV

I had a hard time getting back into the mindset that I had to take care of myself, even if I was no longer pregnant. Rafael made sure I ate at least twice a day, and he and I spent time talking and discussing our feelings. A lot of our feelings were dark and scary, but if we wanted to continue our marriage, we had to get everything out in the open.

Two Fridays after everything happened, I sent my husband to his mother's apartment to return some dishes. I wanted some alone time, especially since I had a doctor's appointment earlier and needed to process what had been said.

"Yes?" I asked, when I opened my door. I hadn't talked to anyone from the squad since I lost Javier, so I wasn't expecting to see Alex and Amanda standing there. Alex held a bouquet of flowers, while Amanda was holding a bag of takeout.

"Hey, Livvie." Alex smiled.

"Uh, hi. What are you two doing here?" I asked. I wasn't up for visitors that weren't Lucia and Catalina, but I didn't want to be rude and kick them out.

"We haven't talked to you in a while, and we wanted to check in."

"Guys, I appreciate you coming over here... but I really don't feel like having a casual visit. So-"

"Liv, we are so sorry about what happened. None of us know what to do, minus putting the bastard in jail."

"Come in. I don't want my neighbors hearing all of this." I sighed.

Once my friends got settled down in the living room, I questioned them about my attack.

"What is he being charged with?" I asked, as I anxiously ran my hands over my pants.

"Assaulting a police officer."

"He can't be charged with killing my child?" I whispered, my voice shaking.

"We tried, but unfortunately, the judge ruled it out. He said that since the baby couldn't make it outside of the womb, that it isn't murder. I'm so sorry-" Alex started, and I shook my head as tears slipped down my cheeks.

"My baby has a name."

"Can we know it?" Amanda asked gently, as she passed me a container of noodles. I shook my head before standing and walking to the mantel. I took the urn into my hands, before turning back to my friends.

"This is all I have left of Javier Rafael Barba. He was so small, and I barely got to look at him before they whisked him away. I wanted to hold him, but they said it would be too hard for me." I whimpered.

"Olivia." Alex breathed, as she cried too. Amanda was right behind her, and they moved to me quickly. We all cried as we looked at the dark blue urn in my hands. 

I had been looking forward to becoming a mother, but then this had to happen. I told everyone about my pregnancy, and everyone was talking about what their titles would be and if I needed anything special for the baby.

"I want to talk to that judge, Alex. Or I want to testify. Javier wouldn't have lived if he hadn't been killed in my fall, but he was still my child. He deserves justice just as much as I do."

///

Rafael's POV

I got home, and I found Olivia laying on the sofa sleeping. She usually never slept out here because she didn't want to wake up and see Javier's urn first thing. But there she was, sleeping with a few blankets draped over her. I went about what I had planned for when I got home before waking her up. I made sure I was in her view so she didn't see the urn first.

"Hey, beautiful." I smiled.

"When did you get home?" Olivia asked weakly, as she rubbed her eyes with her fist.

"About an hour ago. I did up some dishes, took a shower, and then shined my shoes. Now I'm waking you up." I smiled.

"You did so much while I was sleeping. I was supposed to do the dishes, but then Amanda and Alex came over. I-"

"They came over?" I interrupted, and my wife nodded.

"Yeah. They gave us their condolences and then told me about the man that pushed me. They could only charge him with assaulting me, but they couldn't charge him for killing Javier. The fucking judge wouldn't allow it." Olivia snapped.

She went from sad to angry so fast, that I'm surprised she didn't have whiplash.

"Baby-"

"If Javier would have been closer to term, the bastard that killed him would have been charged with murder! But because he was only at sixteen weeks, it's as if he doesn't count. Our pain doesn't count!" Olivia yelled, as she pushed herself up before pacing. I turned to watch her, as I planned out what to say.

"He does count, babe! Our pain does matter! I know you are angry and fuck, I am too! But we can't storm the courthouse and demand that he be charged with murdering Javier."

"But I want to!" Olivia sobbed, as she stopped. I watched as her body shook, and I quickly got to her before she collapsed. I wrapped my arms around her body, before helping her to sink to the ground without injuring herself.

I rocked my wife back and forth as her sobs went from intense to just whimpering. I rubbed her back gently as she rested her head against my shoulder.

"My love, no matter what I say or do... it won't make things better for us. We will always have the pain of losing our baby, and hate for the man that hurt you. Yet in the end, we can't always have this anger take us over. We need to move forward and do our jobs. We need to do things that will make Javier proud of us, just like we'd expect of him. Okay?" I spoke, and Olivia swallowed hard and nodded.

"God, I hope this gets easier." Olivia whispered.

"It will, baby. Just probably not for a while."