Fake Love Turned Real [ A Barson Fanfic]

14

Rafael's POV

I decided that what was best for my wife and myself was to take some leave so we could grieve our little boy together. Olivia barely left our bed, and when she did, it was to use the bathroom or take a shower. She refused to eat, and when I asked why, she always told me she needed to lose weight now that she didn't have to feed herself and Javier anymore.

"Good morning, love." My mother smiled once I opened the door to my apartment. She and Abuela stood in front of me, each with arms full of food.

"What is all that?" I asked.

"You two shouldn't have to worry about cooking, so we have made several things that can be frozen and put in the oven to bake at a later date." My mother smiled. I stepped out of the way and let them in before following them to the kitchen.

"Olivia did a great job with this place, Rafa." Abuela smiled, as she looked around the kitchen before moving to the door and looking into the living room.

"She was so proud of herself when she showed this place off... I was too." I replied weakly.

They explored the apartment, but I wouldn't let them into either bedroom. Olivia was sleeping in ours, and I didn't have the heart to take apart the crib and move it out of Javier's nursery.

"How is she doing?" My mother asked as she walked over to the mantel and looked at Javier's urn.

"She's depressed, Ma. Liv won't eat. All she does is sleep, take a shower, and use the bathroom."

"For her to recover, she must eat."

"Olivia told me she's fat and doesn't have a reason to be fat anymore. Javier is in an urn on our mantel instead of in her belly." I sighed, before hearing my phone buzz.

"Do you need to be somewhere, Rafa?" Abuela asked, and I shook my head.

"Not really. Our laundry is done, so I need to go grab it... would you two mind staying here with her while I'm downstairs?" I asked, and they were quick to agree.

"Take your time, love."

///

Olivia's POV

I woke up long after my husband did. I took my time in taking a shower and getting around, before eventually going to climb back into bed, but I stopped when I heard two voices in the living room.

"Hello?" I asked, as I opened the door and looked out.

"Hey there, sweetie!" Lucia exclaimed. I didn't want to see her, let alone my husband, but I guess I didn't have a choice.

"Where's Rafa?" I asked.

"He's downstairs doing laundry, so he left us up here to keep an eye on you." Lucia replied. I shook my head slowly and rolled my eyes.

"I don't need a babysitter. You can all go because I'm fine." I grumbled. I was bitter and angry, so the last thing I wanted was to see anyone right now.

"Liv-"

"Please, just go!" I huffed.

Catalina nodded slowly, before motioning for her daughter to follow her. They packed up their items before moving to the door.

"I pray that you and Rafael can make it through this. Losing a child is very trying on a marriage, let alone the parents. You two are meant to be together, no matter what I had said in the past. Even if Javier isn't-"

"Don't say his name." I growled.

"Even though your little boy isn't here anymore, he'd want you two to stick together. To not give up on something that is so true... that is real. No matter what you do, avoiding the topic of your son won't make things better. Javier Rafael Barba was a blessing, and forever will be one. I will always know that." Lucia spoke, before leading her mother out of the door and shutting it tightly behind her.

When I heard the door seal, it was like the floodgates opened. An almost animalistic cry left my throat, and I fell to my knees. 

For over a week, I had been trying to forget about my baby. If I didn't feel him kick within or hear him cry from his room, he must not exist. I had given up on my marriage already, just because I had accepted the fact Rafael and I would never be parents. That we'd break up shortly because our loss was too much.

"C'mere." Lucia breathed as she settled down beside me. She pulled me into her arms as I rested my head against her chest. I didn't even hear her come back in, but I was thankful she did.

"I miss him!" I sobbed.

///

When my husband came back upstairs, Lucia and I were still sitting in the hallway. Catalina was making tea, and I was too exhausted to move.

"Oh, my god! What happened?!" Rafael exclaimed, as he dropped the basket and quickly squatted down in front of us.

"I think she had a breakthrough, sweet boy." Lucia spoke to her son as I continued to cling to her. Tears no longer slipped down my cheeks, and I was assuming it's because I was dehydrated and didn't even have the energy to cry anymore.

"I'm confused. How did she do that when she won't talk?" Rafael asked. I reached out to him, and his hand found mine quickly.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. Rafael shook his head as he let out a weak breath.

"You didn't do a damn thing."

"I feel guilty, Rafa. I was supposed to protect him, and I had done that for sixteen weeks. But now, it's like I failed you and our child." I whimpered.

"You didn't fail me and Javi. Livvie, you are a blessing. You made me a father, and I am still a father no matter where our little one is. So please stop blaming yourself. I still want to be with you, and I still want to try again once you are ready to make Javier a big brother." Rafael smiled softly.

I sat up and slipped towards him before wrapping my arms around his body. He held me close and rocked me back and forth as his tears fell onto my hair.

"I love you, Rafa."

"I love you too, Liv."