Self love

Chapter 20

*Ten years later*

"Hello everyone" I smiled welcoming all the teenagers in the circle with me

"I'm so glad that you're all here today. I hope you're all as excited about this program as I am. So in a second I'll ask each of you to just introduce yourself but first I'll just give you a brief history about myself and what this program is all about. Okay? Great" clapping my hands enthusiastically I answered my own question then began speaking again

"So my name is Mrs. Kayli Ryans. I'm 27yrs old and the author of the best-selling book 'Journey to Self-love'. Have any of you read that book?" two girls out of the entire group raised their hands and I smiled at them

"that's great! well I don't really have to go into much details about the book because well the title is pretty self-explanatory. 

So ten years ago when I was 17 yrs old I experienced my first heart break. I witnessed my boyfriend of basically three years cheat on me. He left me after that and my life basically crumbled. 

I became depressed and emotionally unstable and began pushing away the loved ones around me. My mom and I became distant, I got into fights with my best friend and I shut out the world around me.

I was lucky enough however to acknowledge very early that the root of my problems was the lack of self-love. At only 17yrs old I began my journey to self-love.  I wanted to do it on my own, I wanted to be my own hero and I was. I 'fixed' the problem and luckily I had documented it every step of the way.

I knew that there were others out there suffering who need some motivation and advice and help so 4 years ago I published the book. But I just didn't feel like that was enough so a year ago I started this program to help not only teenage girls but also teenage boys who have a lack of self-love and have accepted that they want to begin their own journey to self-love.

Okay so before I go on any further let's just have everyone in the circle introduce themselves, you can tell us anything about yourself that you want to"

A frail small teenage girl with short black hair begins speaking first. "My name is Ariel" she says brushing her over grown bangs out of her face only to have them fall right back in place

"I'm 16 yrs. old and I'm currently suffering from depression" she finishes and I motion for the girl beside her to go ahead.

"My name is Daniel" her voice comes out soft and unclear. She speaks with uncertainty and her eyes never leave her lap, where her dark chocolate colored fingers are fidgeting with each other.

"I'm 18 yrs old and there isn't much to tell to be honest. There isn't anything special about me"

 I instantly disagree with her statement but instead of voicing my disagreement I make a mental note to show it to her later on that she is indeed special.

The introductions continue until all 20 girls and 1 boy have finished and all eyes are now back on me.

"I want you all to just look around the room and familiarize yourself with each face because you're gonna be seeing them a lot over the next couple of week. This is where you're gonna make some great friends. So if you're a loner in school or if you haven't got any friends at all at the end of this program you're gonna have at least 21 friends, myself included.

Now I've written down the names of each person in here and a few of you will pick a piece of paper when I come around with this basket. The name that you have chosen will be you're buddy for the time being that we spend during the program. So you need to spend some one on one time with this person.

Talk to them, get to know them. Provide support for each other. Be that shoulder to lean on. Have you ever heard the saying 'No man is island'?.

That is the first thing that you need to understand. Although you are being independent and gaining self-love on your own it doesn't mean that you should push everyone away.

You still need some amount of support from at least one person and although I will be providing that I just thought it might be nicer to have some one your own age to also be your friend.

As much as you're comfortable being alone , sometimes you have to force yourself out of your comfort zone because its not healthy to be alone all the time.

So after the first ten persons have chosen a piece of paper, just go and sit beside the person that you got. By the way since there are 21 of you that will leave one person without a buddy so someone has to pick 2 names and I was thinking that maybe Aaron should do it" 

with him being the only boy in the group I thought it would be good for him to have 2 support buddies. A small blush crept up his face and his eyes adverted to his shoes

"Only if you're okay with that. Are you cool with it?" I ask him and he nods in response.

"Great let's begin!" Standing from my seat I begin walking around the circle with the basket in my hands. Stopping at every other person I allow them to pick a piece of paper. 

When I arrive at Aaron's chair, there are only two pieces of paper left and he takes both of them up. Flashing him one of my bright smiles I earn one in return and it melts my heart.

"You should smile more" I tell him "you have a great smile" another blush makes its way onto his cheeks and he quickly looks away, taking that as my cue I head back to my chair.

"Okay now that we've all picked names let's just try to find that person and sit beside them. I'll give you guys about ten minutes to find your buddy and get acquainted with them."

As I sit there I quietly observe everyone and take mental notes of how well they're interacting with the other person. A lot of them seem awkward and withdrawn but a few are actually quite the opposite.

 To the right of me I can hear two girls chattering away happily about some boy band that they both love.

And I can see Aaron blushing as he attempts to make conversation with both of his buds. I'm really looking forward to working with these teenagers. It's exciting knowing that I get to see them grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally over the next few weeks.

Today is really just the introductory class so I won't be getting to the meet of the matter today. We really have to just take it one step at a time.

Letting everyone know that their time is up the chatter dies down and all the attention is now back at me.

"So I have journals for each of you guys" I announce pulling the box out from under my chair. "In these journals you will record everything that occurs with you over the next couple of weeks. It is very important that you keep this safe. You'll write your assignments in it , your thoughts and any other thing that you see fit."

The remainder of the session is spent with me talking and trying to interact with the teens on a personal level. I want them to understand that they can talk to me or come to me about anything. I want to be there for them every step of the way.

Years ago when I had finally realized that I had indeed found self-love and gained self-contentment and self-acceptance it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

 I'll never forget how at ease I felt, the feeling of true peace in my heart and each time I go through this program with a different set of teenagers I experience that feeling all over again.

************************************************************

Short chapter I know but the book is coming to an end only like 4 or 5 more chapters left.