Self love

chapter 11

Needless to say that by Saturday morning i was back to my routine, my same boring old life.

I woke up, brushed my teeth, pulled my hair into a ponytail, pulled on my comfiest pair of sweat pants then threw on a sweatshirt over the shirt i had slept in the night before.

I was taking my phone up off my dresser when I looked up in the mirror. This was the first time in a month that i really looked at myself.

"Look at yourself” i said to myself when i felt my eyes drifting away from my reflection. I forced myself to look back up and stared intensely at myself.

"Look how pathetic you look" then i laughed bitterly “you’re just a pathetic little bitch, waiting on someone to feel sorry for you. I can see why he left you; damn everyone can see why he left you. Look at yourself! "

"I don't feel sorry for you. You deserve this. You're not good enough and you never will be. You’re always just gonna be the other girl. Nobody loves you! Nobody wants you! The only reason why I'm here is because I'm stuck sharing this sorry excuse of a body with you!"

"STOP! " I yelled at myself pushing off all the contents on my dresser. “I don’t want anyone’s pity”

An unbelievable amount of hatred flushed through my body. My eyes burned with rage. "I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me anymore; i don't want anyone's pity. It’s time for a change.”

A change my life was craving, to some it might have been a horrible change but to me it wouldn't get better than this.

"Holy cow! Kayli you look hot as f**k” Abby drank in my appearance slowly and so was everyone else in the hallway.

I had made my entrance less than minute ago, turning heads and causing a hush over the hallway as everyone stared at me in awe before erupting into a fit of what i assumed to be gossip about my change in appearance.

I flipped my brown hair dramatically which now fell in large bouncy loose curls with black temporary highlights placed at random places.

I had done my makeup for the first in a while and when I said done my make-up I meant done my make-up, the full package. Concealer, foundation, bronzer, Smokey eye shadow, winged eyeliner, coated and curled eye lashes and to top it all off black lip stick.

There is a small group of people in this world who can pull off black lipstick and I surprisingly fell into that group.

The real piece of interest that i was wearing was Andrew's $300 leather jacket that i had "BORROWED" without his permission but hey like Mr. Crabs says it’s all good as long as you return it before they realize it's missing right.

I paired it with my tightest pair of dark skinny jeans and my studded back wedge boots. The jeans had displayed curves on my body that I never even knew I had.

I would be lying if I told you that I didn't look good.

"You look so different. What the hell happened between Friday night and now!" She rambled in awe her eyes never moving from my outfit.

I leaned against the locker beside hers putting my foot up against the one below it. Shrugging in response to her rambling I toned her out then glanced at my phone.