why do drugs when you can be reborn as a god

MAMA MIA have some angst again

--TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF LOATHING AND SELF BLAMING FOR DEATH MENTIONS--

As I open the door I swear I see-

WHAT THE HELL. I slam the door shut, hearing some swearing from outside the door from a neighbor that I startled the everliving hell out of. But besides that- why is herrah here??? Doesn't she have a whole ass village to tend to??? Why isn't she there- yknow what, I don't ave time for that.

--TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF LOATHING AND BLAMING THEMSELF FOR DEATH??? THATS WHAT THEY DO IN THIS SECTION IDK THE NAME FOR IT--

And the vessel looks so much like them. God I have to stop thinking about it I have things to do. I just have to- stop thinking about it. I slide down the door I was leaning against and curl into a ball at some point. I hate remembering it.

-But it is your fault you know, if you weren't so pathetic maybe goateye would still be here, maybe if you were better they wouldn't have died a long painful death. You don't deserve to sit here in self pity while they're stuck in the abyss as a shade because of your stupidity. They're dead because of you-

They're right I'm a piece of shit. I could've at the very least put them out of their misery so that they wouldn't have had to suffer but I didn't because I was selfish and stupid. But I don't have time for this right now. I have to focus I can sort my shit out later, I need to focus on te present right now.

--TRIGGERING SECTION OVER--

 Getting up and dusting myself off before I look down at them I see that they didn't really go anywhere but they seem to have seen me because they're staring at the door I slammed earlier. At least that makes my job easier, oh so slowly opening said door I dash across the street and grab the vessel. 

They don't really seem scared by me so that's odd, but I'm assuming that being out here has desensitized them to bugs being around them. Unlike goateye- nope nevermind that. I really need to find some time to sort that out but most definitely not when I'm trying to figure this out. Looking through the closet where I saw quirrel grab the pillow and presumably blanket from. 

I grab a pillow similar to mine and set it on the floor near mine, gesturing for them to sit on it then I go back to sorting through the closet. Tossing a blanket It accidentally hits their face while they struggle to get out of it I'm bent over wheezing. It's too damn hilarious what can I say?

At that moment quirrel walks in the door, stops in his tracks, looks from me to them, before pulling the blanket off their head. He's probably debating his life choices and what led to this moment right now. He walks to the pantry and puts some more of those weird vegetables in there, probably restocking groceries. 

Watching him I realize I'm probably eating more healthy here than I did in my entire last life. Looking at the clock it's like 10 in the morning, pretty early but not early enough to go back to sleep unfortunately. Walking over to my pillow I lean against the wall, time to start counting the cracks in the ceiling I guess.

After awhile I look over to quirrel who seems to be looking at some sort of slab with writing on it. Eh- weird, I look over at the vessel from earlier. I need a name for them. They don't really resemble anything. How about rain since I found them in the rain? It's stupid but it'll work for now at the very least.

My thoughts were promptly cut off by being bitch slapped with a pillow 

(A/N SO HOW DID Y'ALL LIKE THE ANGST? It wasn't exactly good but the good stuff will come in due time. Gotta build shit up before ya knock it all down. Anyways now that the week is starting up again you might want to expect less frequent uploads.)