why do drugs when you can be reborn as a god

[OLD VERSION]Not even death can help you avoid school forever

trying.. not... to.... fall..... asleep......

God, there are a lot of twists and turns- and elevator rides???, and I would know, I can feel 'em in the weird dream place I'm in. But I guess that doesn't exactly say much. As per usual as soon as I fell asleep I just kinda popped up here, completely lucid. It's weird though usually it's much less bright but I scrap that up to the fact I was in the abyss directly next to the void last time. Anyways, tuning back into the waking world I can tell she's slowing down so I assume we're close. Either that or she's really tired which I doubt because it's only been like 10-ish minutes, it's hard to tell when you're FUCKING. ASLEEP. OKAY??

Anyways I metaphorically throw myself into the waking world as I'm set down in a different room which from closer inspection must be a bedroom, judging from the huge as bed and the ungodly amount of pillows. It's definitely a few steps up from that other one. I'm guessing that it was some empty room for a retainer or something- I mean I'm sure it would be annoying to travel from the city of tears to the palace constantly. Anyways looking around the room I notice it's actually pretty empty besides some nails hanging on the wall along with an almost comically large clock and a desk with a stack of paper and a few of those old ink pen things.

Well are you going to walk around? This is your room after all. I guess I shouldn't expect that from you knowing how you presumably lived before my wyrm brought you here. He may be bright both metaphorically and literally, but he is admittedly lacking in moral and common sense.

And lacking in height lmao short ass utensil head ass bitch. As I think that I hear her sigh and say something about figuring out a schedule for me and walking out. She seems really nice if a bit more forgiving than she should be in my opinion, well I'm already bored and judging by the almost comically large clock on the wall it's only 5pm not even close to when I used to fall asleep every night, how I can remember that and not my name? I have no fucking clue. Something something leave my previous life behind bs I'm guessing.

After mostly just fucking around, taking some pillows and a blanket under the bed to make a nice hangout spot I decide to try and draw at the desk. But as soon as I sit down I realize I'm just barely too short and have to grab a pillow. I mentally grumble as I sort through the pillows to find one I don't like.

 After setting it down I get back to the desk and pick up one of the pens about to draw but as soon as I start to- the ink looks just like goateye's- NOPE NOOOPPPEEE NEVERMIND I AM NOT HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN TODAY NO SIREE. As I violently steer away from that idea, I decide to look at the clock aaanndd- it's already FIVE FUCKING THIRTY???

As I was about to question why the white lady wasn't back I heard a knock at the door before she let herself in and handed me a few pieces of paper and something else. One was the schedule she mentioned as she left, the second one was a map, the third one was that one charm that shows you where you are ingame that I didn't notice due to the fact it was tied to the map, and the other thing was a cloak to go over the one I was still wearing when I broke out of my spherical prison.

I'd assume it was to keep warm, I wasn't really bothered because of the weeks I spent in the abyss but I did notice it's pretty cold in the lower half of the castle. It does make sense considering that heat tends to rise, with this weird mix of medieval and high tech I can see how it would be difficult to fix that without overheating the top half.

 When I zoned back in I noticed I was just kind sitting there with one of my weird vessel hands on what's basically my chin I immediately put it down and looked at her she just looked at me, she seemed like she found it more funny than rude. Thank fucking god because I didn't want to sit through a lecture about it. After a minute of staring at the cloak I realized that she was waiting for me to try it on, resisting the urge to facepalm like anyone within a 10 meter radius of someone who ships hornet x ghost (A/N yes, I've seen some fics where it was implied or tagged and it's SO gross) I actually put it on and it's pretty comfortable I half expected it to be stiff but in hindsight it doesn't make sense for the royalty to have bad clothing materials.

You remind me of your father you know

Oh my god I've never been so insulted, I'd rather be called a slur thanks. After that I look back at the clock a few times because every time I look I immediately forget the time until I finally get it right. It's like 6:10, the white lady waves as she leaves the room yet again and I go back to looking at my new stuff, after checking the schedule I notice it's pretty basic.

 Breakfast at 8:30, training at 10:00am-12:00pm, then lunch at 12:30pm-1:30pm finally someone who understands lunch takes longer than 30 minutes, then training again 2:00pm-3:00pm, then I have to do history 3:30pm-4:30pm- damn I can't escape learning history even through death so sad, then I have free time until dinner and that's at 7:00pm. Alright pretty easy to- Oh there's more.

Looks like that's only tuesdays and thursdays, god what is this a fucking school schedule. Wait it's a school schedule- I guess it makes sense considering to them I might as well be a preschooler. It would be weird if they ever introduced me to the public and I couldn't fucking read, imagine this random ass kid that turns out to be royalty just casually walking into a pub.

 Anyways, it's basically the same but with writing and reading instead of training and it looks like there's an empty space where history is with some notes that my brain somehow translates into english that basically say something about a teacher- huh, guess they were just planning to toss me with some random retainer for the reading and writing classes. Not that I mind, I'd imagine it's not exactly difficult to just grab some guy who knows how to read and write.

After that I toss on a charm, looking at the time I still have about an hour until when I'd assume dinner is so I decide to just go fuck around somewhere, what are any of the retainers gonna do? Stop me? I have what equates to a giant knife that I know how to use it's like giving a toddler gun lessons and then dropping them off in a walmart with an AK-47.

Now it's time to fuck around and find out, hell yeah

(A/N I know the white lady has an odd personality in this fic but I love the idea of her completely softening up around kids but being intimidating to practically everyone else, also mommy issues so let me have my fictional supportive mother in peace. Also sorry to say but my usual updates may not be as long as the ones on the weekends as I have school to go to. During summer chapters might be like 3,000 words long and be every other day uploads because I have absolutely no life but I'm not 100% sure although I plan on keeping this fic gong for a LONG time and once this one is done I'll probably have a spinoff where the pale king was the evil monarch we all know and hate in cannon)