why do drugs when you can be reborn as a god

ooh some angst? save me a slice!

MAJOR TW FOR PARANOIA MORE WILL BE PUT BEFORE TRIGGERING SECTIONS TO AVOID SPOILERS

tired

I woke up to bumping into the shore of the other side of the lake it's so weird to me to see things from the game three dimensionally- I'd probably get lost down here if I didn't spend hours memorizing the place. God damnit [̷̛̘̥͎̃̀͘Ḿ̶̢̜͈̭͇͕͕̋̽̌͐̉͐͝Y̷̟̯̐̅͑͝ ̷̣̔̈N̷̨̖͎̹̰̘̾̆̄͐͂͛̂͒̏̈́A̴͙̞̖̮͍̓͌̑M̷͔̩̠̽̿̍͌́͐̐̄͜E̶̮̞͎̯̼̦̳͗͆̇̒̕͠]̴̢̱͖̙̳̠̯̳̈́̇̍̚͠ͅ  wait... what was my name again?

I can't- I CAN'T REMEMBER MY NAME. WHATWASITWHATWASITWHATWASITWHATWAS IT. NONONONONONONO IF I FORGET MY NAME WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA FORGET? WHAT IF I FORGET MY FAMILY??? MY MOM, MY DAD, MY FRIENDS???? WHAT IF I FORGET MY LIFE?? WILL I FORGET WHO I WAS BEFORE ALL OF THIS. WHAT I-

-god, will you just shut up already? So what you can't remember your name. Poor you, how about we focus on the opportunity because if  I remember (haha pun from the author) correctly this is on the path to the shade cloak and we best not waste any time with any more dumbass existential crises. Now let's go-

I begrudgingly listened to their advice and started heading through the nearest door, or archway if you're a fancy bitch. it was exactly the same as ingame with the weird bug statue thing holding the bowl leaking void. As much as I hated it, I had to go in. I jumped and HOLY FUCKING SHITTT did I jump high. 

I plopped straight into the bowl and immediately regretted my decision as cold hot pain immediately engulfed my entire body. Everything burns and freezes and hurts and is numb it feels like every single nerve I didn't know I have is short circuiting. If I could scream I'm sure the entirety of hallownest would hear me. And then  in a flash, it's over. A cold ball thing settled in my chest, I have a feeling it's gonna take awhile to get used to that.

Oh well, time to head back. I try not to fall asleep this time as I float back across the water and into the light. Yeahhh I can definitely feel that cold ball thing freak the fuck out as soon as it hits me and I IMMEDIATELY sprint out of it as soon as physically possible.

As I head out of the light and back into safety I decide to start climbing the lighthouse. Shouldn't be too hard because it seems like there were stairs here before they fell apart. As I climb all I can think about is how rusty they are and how the railings look like they're about to snap. 

TW PARANOIA/PARANOIA INDUCING THOUGHTS, MENTIONS OF DEATH, AND MANIPULATION(?) DON'T TAKE RISKS  DUDERONIS

-you know they're gonna crumble under you right? They're gonna fall apart and you know it. You're gonna fall and fucking die you know that right? You're gonna die from something so stupid like so damn stairs and it'll be your fucking fault. You're goddamn stupid for climbing these. You could've left it be but noooooo you just HAD to be a hero, huh? didn't you. DIDN'T. FUCKING YOU. It'll be all your fault if we die on these damn stairs and you know that. It's gonna b--

(A/N I related to this a little too hard and now if you'll excuse me I'm going to cry myself to sleep/hj)

OH MY GOD SHUT THE EVERLIVING HELL THE FUCK UP. WE WILL NOT DIE ON THESE STAIRS, WE WILL NOT FALL OFF AND IF WE DO IT'LL BE BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO DISTRACT M-

I promptly fell down the fucking stairs

(A/N HOOLLLYYY SHIT 590 ish words, that's a lot. also sorry for the delayed chapter as I passed out for 4 hours straight and woke up at 8:00pm due to sleep deprivation and couldn't write this yesterday so I wrote this all in one go in about 4 hours)