why do drugs when you can be reborn as a god

[OLD VERSION]C ON S U M E

Now it's time to fuck around and find out, hell yeah

As I start wandering around I decide to pull out my map, it seems less large scale than the one ingame but it makes sense considering it's only a map of the castle, no reason for it to be huge. Anyways looking at the map the closest places would probably be the kitchen, the training area, and the workshop. I haven't eaten since I got here and I'm pretty sure if I was in a human body at the moment I would be dead I decide the kitchen is a good place to go.

 I don't think spoiling my dinner counts if I've been starving for like- weeks, does it??? Eh not like I give a flying fucksicle, what are they gonna do, tell me off for having a snack after not eating for that long? I think not. Anyways I should probably find out what in the hell I wanna eat since there's like a 90% chance that the food is made of bug stuff. Not that I care, I've eaten plastic and tin foil I can stand bug food. 

Because of the fact I am currently in a bug kingdom in a bug world I was pretty damn surprised to see usual food items in the pantry, Kinda makes sense, I mean everything besides the meat can be normal right? They probably just have bug-animal thing replacements for things like whatever part of the pig is used for gelatin and stuff like that.

 I shrug as I pull out what looks like chips, they seem plan nothing weird or special. Now how the fuck do I eat this shit??? I mean I'm definitely hungry an I do have a breakfast and dinner scheduled so I must be able to eat. I got lucky with the logical assumptions about the other shit like focusing, there is no logical assumption about this.

I try shoving it in my eye and it kinda just disappears???? I don't feel any less hungry is it like the inventory ingame??? I'm getting off track, this seems kinda stupid but- I try and focus on it like when you focus soul and... nope. Worth a shot I guess, I try just shoving it to the bottom of my mask and I feel some void thing just grab it and pull it in my throat.

Well then, weird and creepy but problem solved. As I eat the rest of the chips I notice- IS THAT FUCKING DRYYA????? She just blinks at me before slowly walking past me and grabs some more of the same food I have. I stare at her awkwardly as she walks to the small table counter thing and eats some of the chip bag before I just grab some more food, going for this huge ass thing of cheeseballs this time. 

Wait where could they even get- NOPE. NO.HELL NO. DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHERE BUG MILK COMES FROM. Anyways as I open it and proceed to shove handful after handful of cheeseballs into my "mouth" at rapid speeds dryya eventually stops eating chips and stares at me as I finish the entire 3 gallon jar in less than a minute. She looks horrified, and impressed. At least she does before having to physically restrain me form eating the jar itself. After that fun experience she leaves looking confused and exasperated.

With that I decide to leave and head back to my room. I would've been laughing my ass off if I had a voice. When I get there I decide to look at the time and I see that it's about 6:35 and just flop on my bed and lay down, inevitably falling asleep and being woken up by the white lady as she comes and grabs me, bringing me to the dining area. Which was apparently separated from the kitchen itself after an incident with a certain moth.

 Also because it's not exactly a good look if you were to invite someone like herrah over and having an important official conversation in some small 4 person table. I'm yoinked from my thoughts as someone taps me on the shoulder. I don't even have to look to understand who it is, I can tell from the size of her hand that she was the white lady. She just brought me to my seat before sitting down next to the lamp-fork combination ass bastard.

"I would appreciate not being insulted at the dinner table."

I forgot he could do that- well then. Moving on I started eating for a second only to pause for a second because everyone was staring at me. Takes me a moment to remember I probably look absolutely horrifying. So I just kinda put the fork down and look between the short lamp bastard and the white lady. And he looks at me, and I look at him, and he looks at me, and- okay in all seriousness this is getting really awkward.

s̴̜̳͖͙̼̺̗͋̃̈́̀͑ô̸̞͙͕̺̏͛̀̿̀̃̀̚ ̷̢̫̺̥̻͓̰̙̻̪̉l̴͉̰̲̞̜̝̍͠͝ḯ̸̦̈́͑̐̐͝k̶̛̖̠̭͚̮̱̠͍̺͆̌̀́͒͒͗͜e̴̘͐ ̵̥͖̰̟̪̟̬̻̮̙̓͛͊̈́̕͝͝c̴̘͎̜͇͕̮̳͝â̷̪͍̎͝ņ̴̢̠̘͔̩̼͕̳̜̆̀͝͝ ̴̳̖̣̝͙̠̟̬̝̈́́̂̑͂̔͠I̶̬̼̒̌͋̏͊͊͛͝ ̷̠̭̰͖̯̦͇̓͂̈́͜ę̶̼̰̘̎ḁ̸͉̺͉̦͔͔̉̏̄̇̓̔̿ṯ̷͇̞̩̈͋͗ ̶̧̣̖̄̌̀͗͋͘̕͠o̴̢̨̢̙͑̈́͠ŗ̴͈̱͇̗́̀̃̂̀̅̐̕ř̷̰̖̼̗͜ṙ̵̙̫̮̫̼̫̰͂̋͜r̴̨̿̽̈̂confusion, concern]

When I said that I noticed that hollow seemed surprised, they probably didn't know what voidspeak was. Not that I blame them, not like they would've tried either. I wouldn't have if it weren't for- OKAYYY THIS IS NOT GOING DOWN A FUN DIRECTION AND THIS IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT THE TIME. After a minute of staring at me the pale lamp cleared his throat.

"Yes you can eat, I apologize for my reaction you just- eat rather strangely is all"

The less rude way to say what he meant is that neither of us expected that and you caught the both of us off guard. Also I will ask what you were responding to later, wyrm.

She glared daggers at him, seemingly annoyed with the fact that he kinda insulted the way I eat. Not that I mind, I can insult myself much worse it's not like there's a scarcity of shit to insult me about. I realized a bit too late that the pale asshat is probably reading my thoughts at the moment since he was able to hear the insults and the voidspeak shite.

Ah yes, the good ol' accidentally saying something and then realize that it sounded a lot less funny and a lot more self loathing. How fun, I finish up my food and wait for everyone else to finish, hoping to be able to peacefully slip out without any interference. After they finish I pull out my map since I haven't memorized the layout yet and start walking out after everybody, thankfully he seemed to have brushed it off and I head to my room, immediately hop under the blankets and start heading to sleep

Huh- wait a minute this isn't the usual dream void- 

(A/N Left it on a  bit of a cliffhanger huh? Sorry this took so long to make, I really didn't have the energy to write yesterday and my brother visited today so I didn't have much time to write. And the main character's new name will be revealed soon and I am taking suggestions. ALSO IMPORTANT NOTE!!!! You may have noticed some inconsistencies and plot holes in the story. Believe it or not, that is on purpose because realistically from the current main character's point of view there would be inconsistencies and things they just wouldn't consciously notice, this is built around their thoughts and perspective so I thought it would be interesting to make it more realistic. There is no exposition for them unless something happens to them, so you the reader don't get the exposition. If I believe something needs an actual explanation I will provide one in the A/N. IMPORTANT NOTE END!!!!!)