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where am i, who am i
where are we, who are we?

if only i could explain my confusion,
it would leave every brain scared,
because my own cannot function
and i myself, am so scared.

but it's a miracle, i can remember
the day my trauma began
and who was the cause of it.

and this life has taught me,
that sometimes, the people who love others the most,
can be hurt by those the most.

just those stupid actions,
could change someone's life
and you may question, what are the pros and cons,
of one's childhood life.

if it was too hard to understand one's opinion
why would you let your anger and protectiveness consolidate?
because those stupid emotions can only be controlled by one, yourself.
and yet you still hand them out, as if they were treats for your own pets

because the world revolves around you,
and not around the sun
because if your emotions weren't the centre of everything,
then you wouldn't find it fun.

i stared at her paper as i heard y/ns sobs.

i looked around the classroom, seeing everyone slightly concerned.

and not only concerned about y/n, but martinus.

he was sobbing at the back.

i looked at him, until he made eye contact.

and he mouthed "it's all my fault" but i just turned around, still processing y/ns poem around him.

her literacy made me realise how self centred martinus can be, and how it takes him long to realise he's in the wrong.

(y/n pov)

i didn't feel safe, i felt his presence.

and i didn't know his name, but i knew his actions.

they affected me.

"him" i murmured to the teacher as she held my hands, to stop me from going crazy.

"who's him?"

"the one who pushed me out the house"

"who?"

"HIM" i said.

everytime i said him, it was just his face.

his face by the door.

i had to go home.

"i want my mum to pick me up!" i shouted, as my shouting echoed down the corridor.

"okay, i'll get marcus for you okay?"

i nodded, the teacher went back in as i leaned against the wall shaking.

marcus came out, he came straight to me, helping me stop leaning from the wall.

he pulled me up and melted into his hug.

"take me home" i said, in his shoulder.

"i can't take you home, your mum has to pick you up"

"please call my mum" i took out my phone.

i didn't know how to use it, i haven't  used one in ages.

he called my mum.

"hello?"

"miss andersson, y/n wants you to pick up"

"why so?"

"she's distressed, i think her memory is coming back, and she is getting bad thoughts in school, it's affecting her really badly."

"okay, i'll be there soon"

the phone call ended as he handed my phone back.

"thank you"
i said.

i hugged him again.

"what's his name?"

"who's?"

"the one who kicked me out."

"martinus- my brother."

i immediately pulled back as he looked at me as if he fucked up.

"your brother.." she whispered.

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