Warmagic

27 - Guilt

They were both gone. They had left me to travel to their pack, and I was left alone.

I peered around the village, there were people everywhere moving in different directions to continue their daily chores. I could see Dag chatting away with his friends, Noora rocking our son in her arms, and Truls carrying a bucket of water towards the blacksmith's house.

They were my friends and my family, so why did I feel so lonely?

I knew the reason and it was something I could not tell my friends. It was a secret I had to keep in my heart, and that thought made my spirit sink even lower.

Last night Vidar had asked the Great Mother Wolf to bless our union. Both Freke and him told me how the forest-spirits sang joyfully around us and the fae danced in celebration. The ceremony was short and mere moments later we were calling each other maður as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

I had shared my fears with Freke, telling them about my dream. Unlike Vidar, they took it more seriously, but told me the same thing as Vidar had. That it was all based on my own fears and insecurities about this bond and our trinity.

Whatever doubt I had once felt was instantly erased by kissing lips, wet tongues and gentle hands touching every inch of my body. Moans soon filled the air around us and as the sun started rising and shone through the dense forest, our bodies were covered in sweat, shaking with lust and exhaustion. Our union was sealed with a passion I had never felt before, and now I craved more. Both my body and soul needed to be with them.

"Are you going to speak with Liv?" my wife repeated in front of me, as I managed to snap out of my daydream.

"What about?" I sighed and reached out my hands towards Ari to hold him in my arms.

"She's concerned about Freke, and how you handled the whole Bjarke threat," she told me with a low voice, moving closer to rest her head against my upper arm. I couldn't help but place my arm around her shoulders and pull her in.

"I know, but Liv lives in the moment, she doesn't think about consequences like I have to." I smiled down at the baby boy in my arms. "We're not safe here. You know that, don't you?" I asked her but kept my eyes on my son.

"You said Bjarke left."

"Yes, but what if he comes back?" I turned to look at my wife. "Vidar will come and hunt him down again if I ask him, but Noora, it would be better if we move closer to my family, don't you think?"

"Your family?" she asked with hesitation, "do you mean your parents or your wolves?"

My hand moved from the baby up to her face and I watched her sad eyes as my thumb touched her lips. "All of them. Ari would be surrounded with people who love him, and so would you."

"Does anyone else know your plans?"

"Only Ivar," I said and removed my hand as her tone changed. She was getting angry, I could see it.

"I was happy there, and then you sent me to this dreadful place, and now you want me to go back!"

"I did what I thought was best, Noora," I sighed and tried to stay calm, there was no use yelling at her, she was right. "And you said it yourself, your life was better there. So let's go back?"

I could see the small woman shiver beside me and I pulled her in for a long comforting hug, "I'm sure the blond man with the cute freckles is waiting for you," I teased but only got a blank stare from her.

"I don't have feelings for him anymore," she whispered and her eyes sent a stab through my heart. "I love you Tyr, only you," she continued and sighed. "And I can't help but feel jealous of Freke."

I peered down into her tearfilled eyes. She was beautiful, the blue dress she wore was of the more luxurious kind, embroidered with shimmering threads. Her hair was braided in a complicated pattern, showing she was one of the more important women in the village. And still I knew it did not matter to her, she never cared for power or influence and that was a trait I admired her for.

"You knew this before you married me," I mumbled but still felt guilty for not being the husband she needed.

"Yes," she sighed and shook her head, "but I was not prepared to fall in love with you," the sigh turned into a faint smile on her lips and I couldn't help but feel another sting of guilt in my chest. "You know, I was relieved to marry someone who would give me enough freedom to do what I wanted and I was actually happy that you were in love with someone else,Tyr."

"I do love you," I told her, "and I love our son and I would do anything to protect you both." I said seriously and leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Yes, I know. But you will always love him more."

Them – I thought, but kept it to myself. "Think about it at least? I know that you prefer the company of my mother and sister to the women here."

She grabbed the child from my arms and tucked him in close to her chest, "you don't need to convince me, Husband. Where you go, me and Ari will follow. And to be honest, I would love to go back home."

I could feel a wide smile grow on my face, "Whatever have I done to deserve a wife like you, Noora," I said and pulled her in for a tight hug, making her giggle. "It's settled then, let's go visit my father. You, me and Ari."

She nodded and stood on her tiptoes to reach my cheek with her lips, "I'd like that," she said before she started to walk towards the hall with a hungry crying baby in her arms.

"You're leaving?"

I turned to look at Dag who walked up to me with a frown on his face. "Only for a short time, I have some things I need to discuss with my father."

"Is that so?" he asked with a knowing smile on his face, "we all know the real reason is your vitki, so why don't you just admit it," he teased, "you need a man to warm your bed, and not your pretty wife."

"Is that an offer?" I asked, amused and let my eyes wander over his body. I could instantly see his muscles tense up and his face flush with insecurity.

"Ehm, no, I'm not... no," he stuttered and his eyes turned to follow Noora's steps, his gaze lingering on her small frame. So that's what he wanted. I peered at the young man who had become one of my best friends here in Skal. He was a hardworking man and always had a laugh up his sleeve.

I chuckled and patted his shoulder. "You are a good man, Dag, if she feels the same way, you have my blessing," I told him to his great surprise. "Come with us to Bildsfell, I could use an extra pair of eyes on the road."

Dag seemed speechless for a moment, but when the meaning of my words hit him, a smile started to grow on his lips. "Just tell me when, Jarl, I'll be ready. And I would treat her well, you know I would."

I nodded, and gave him a smile, "Yes, I know you would."

I want to send a huge shoutout to HicksScribbles for all the help with beta reading and editing! If you need help - like I did - be sure to check out his Fiverr account!