[We see Barton returning to his family on the farm, followed by Stark driving to the new Avengers facility in upstate New York]
Laura Barton: [From a video of Barton's new baby on Natasha's phone] Say hi to Auntie Nat. [Natasha sees the baby has been named Nathaniel Pietro Barton]
jean - Aww he was named after you!
Pietro looks happily sad at the screen
Natasha Romanoff: Fat.
everyone snorts
Nick Fury: One of our tech boys flagged this, splashed down in the Banda Sea. Could be the Quinjet. But with Stark's stealth tech, we still can't track the damn thing.
Natasha Romanoff: Right.
Nick Fury: Probably jumped out and swam to Fiji. He'll send a postcard.
Natasha Romanoff: "Wish you were here." You sent me to recruit him, way back when. Did you know then what was going to happen?
Nick Fury: You never know. You hope for the best and make do with what you get. I got a great team.
Natasha Romanoff: Nothing lasts forever.
Nick Fury: Trouble, Miss Romanoff. No matter who wins or loses, trouble still comes around.
Steve Rogers: The rules have changed.
Tony Stark: We're dealing with something new.
Steve Rogers: Well, the Vision's artificial intelligence.
Tony Stark: A machine.
Steve Rogers: So it doesn't count.
Tony Stark: No. It's not like a person lifting the hammer.
Steve Rogers: Right. Different rules for us.
Tony Stark: Nice guy, but artificial.
Steve Rogers: Thank you.
Thor: If he can wield the hammer, he can keep the Mind Stone. It's safe with the Vision and these days, safe is in short supply.
Steve Rogers: But if you put the hammer in an elevator...
Tony Stark: It would still go up.
Steve Rogers: Elevator's not worthy.
everyone snorts again
Thor: I'm going to miss these little talks of ours.
Tony Stark: Well, not if you don't leave.
Thor: I have no choice. The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. That's not a coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. But once all these pieces are in position...
Tony Stark: Triple Yahtzee?
Steve Rogers: You think you can find out what's coming?
Thor: I do. [In reference to Stark] Besides this one, there's nothing that can't be explained. [Thor returns to Asgard, and the Bifrost burns a sigil in the grass he was standing on]
Tony Stark: That man has no regard for lawn maintenance. I'm gonna miss him though. And you're gonna miss me. There's gonna be a lot of manful tears. [as they walk over towards Stark's car]
Steve Rogers: I will miss you, Tony.
Tony Stark: Yeah? Well, it's time for me to tap out. Maybe I should take a page out of Barton's book and build Pepper a farm, hope nobody blows it up.
Steve Rogers: The simple life.
Tony Stark: You'll get there one day.
Steve Rogers: I don't know, family, stability. The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out. [Stark turns to get into his car]
Tony Stark: You alright?
Steve Rogers: I'm home. [Stark gets into his car; Steve finds Natasha standing alone] You want to keep staring at the wall, or do you want to go to work? I mean, it's a pretty interesting wall.
Natasha Romanoff: I thought you and Tony were still gazing into each other's eyes. How do we look?
Steve Rogers: Well, we're not the '27 Yankees. [hands Natasha a tablet]
Natasha Romanoff: We've got some hitters.
Steve Rogers: They're good. They're not a team.
Natasha Romanoff: Let's beat 'em into shape. [they gather Rhodes in his War Machine suit, Vision, Sam in his Falcon suit, and Wanda in a new outfit.]
Steve Rogers: Avengers...!
[mid-credits scene; we see the Infinity Gauntlet without any of the Stones, dissatisfied Thanos opens a vault and puts on The Infinty Gauntlet, revealing himself]
Thanos: Fine, I'll do it myself.
END OF AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
Kurt - well that was...
Charles - eventful
Pietro - understatement
