Mr. Clarke - COMPLETE

28

N I N A

I can't fucking do this.

Standing in front of my fathers building has me running my hands down my pencil skirt numerous times because they won't stop sweating.

I can feel my lungs close in on me every time I try to take a breath in.

I can't fucking do this.

My appointment with my father is in ten minutes and yet here I am, standing outside the entrance contemplating whether I should suck it the fuck up and walk in or run the other way and pretend like this day never happened.

My blouse is sticking to my skin because of the heat and nerves and my toes are practically sticking together inside my heels.

"Dammit I can't do this." I whisper to myself and turn the other way to leave. But then I stop after the second step and take a huge breath in.

"Fuck it." I turn back around and walk right into the building.

The worst that could happen is him not wanting anything to do with me which is what I expect. I mean, I would love for him to want to now be apart of my life because I've always wanted to have a father but if not, I won't go and cry about it.

I walk up to the receptionist desk and put on a fake smile.

"Hi, I have an appointment with Thomas Jackson at noon." I tell the older lady sitting behind the desk.

She looks up at me quickly before typing away at her computer but then does a double take with wide eyes.

"Oh!" Her eyes scrutinize my face for a moment before blinking rather quickly. "I'm sorry you just..."

The lady doesn't add on to what she was about to say but I can already think of what the next words out of her mouth would be.

I look just like him.

I just keep a smile on my face and wait for her to check me in before she tells me that I'm able to head up to his office.

I can see from my peripherals that her eyes are following my every movement to the elevator but I ignore her and press the up button. I wait a few seconds before walking into the elevator and pressing the highest number.

Once the doors close, I lean against the mirrored wall and take quick breaths in. My heart is beating erratically and my curls are sticking to my forehead. I unbutton the first button of my blouse to try to loosen the material in order for me to breath better but nothing is working.

My grip on the handle bar tightens when the ding of the elevator is heard. The doors open and an expansive seating area with a windowed office in the middle of it is shown.

If I wasn't so nervous about being here I would've admired the interior design of the area. Huge planted plants are on either side of the couches against the walls and the round clear glassed table sitting in the middle of the room has beautiful gold crystal designs on the legs of it.

There's a dark wooden desk in the corner where there's a young man typing away at his computer. He doesn't notice me yet until I clear my throat.