Ryder is finally cleared to go back to hockey which means it is time to pack up and move to New York. Francesca is thrilled about living with Ryder for the summer and has already made a ton of plans for them. Both want nothing more than a perfect su...
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Michigan pros: Finish my degree, another year with my friends, get to play final season, more time with Francesca, develop more before going to NHL, pisses them off
Michigan cons: Don't get paid ($7 million is a lot of money), could get injured and never play in NHL, could go back and finish degree anytime (I'm a chem major what the fuck do I even do with that?), PISSES THEM OFF
I groan into my pillow feeling no closer to an answer today as I did on Monday. If anything I feel like I am even more confused since making this stupid list. Realistically I think I am looking for something that isn't there. Everything on the stupid list points to just signing the contract and playing in the NHL this season, but I can't do it. I have tried; I swear on my girls I tried to open the glove compartment and sign it, but I can't.
Why does this need to be so fucking hard? Why can't I just accept that joining the NHL is the far superior choice and suck it up?
I throw my phone into my suitcase which looks like it has exploded on the bedroom floor. If my mom saw this she'd lose her mind and call me trashy and unmannered. Fuck her I laugh as I pull out more shit from the bag purposely making an even bigger mess.
I stop pitying myself because poor me got a huge NHL contract. The types of fucking problems most people wish they had. Maybe my dad was right I am nothing more than a selfish, immature, fucking brat. What other person in their right mind would be struggling with this decision besides me?
I kick a shirt in frustration before balling up the towel around my waist and throwing it at the wall. The towel falls to the floor in a pile, mocking me almost, as it just sits here. I turn my back and get dressed for Charlotte's graduation, not wanting to be late. The poor thing already is a nervous mess her older cousins won't show. I know that feeling and I know the pain when they actually don't show; I won't let the shyest cousin of the bunch feel that today.
I pull on a polo and some nice khakis that Francesca picked out for me since I had no clue what to wear. Should I add that to the list? Can't get dressed without Francesca? That's a perfectly valid reason to do another year at Michigan. All those events and interviews and walking into games you have to be dressed to impress and I need her help to do that. How can she help if she is there and I am here?
I mean I guess facetime exists and I could just call and ask her for help?
Nevermind, I guess that one shouldn't be added to the list but I am keeping it in the back of my mind for now.
I nod to myself, making a mental note of the new potential pro for returning back to school before finishing getting dressed, straightening my room up a little, then walking across the hall into Francesca's room. Her door is only open a tiny crack so I nudge it with my toe to make sure she is dressed before I just waltz in. When I nudge it open she is sitting on the bed looking down at something in her hands.
"Hey babe," I say gently as I sit on the edge of the bed next to her. She is looking down at a picture frame in her hands that holds a picture of her and Charlotte in the middle.
