Midnight

Chapter Nine

Her eyes opened on deep darkness. She preferred it from the red of her dreams. She let the void embrace her. For a moment she imagined she had succeeded. The long wanted nothingness had finally came and took her. The sinful Hinata Hyuga had left this world, had disappeared. Not to move to another. She wasn't entitled to drift away to anywhere nor did she wanted it. The stein that she left in this place would be finally clean. The pain would go away. She wouldn't hurt anyone anymore and she wouldn't be hurt. Maybe at the last breath she took she would smell the sweat of the hand that approached her. She would taste the iron in her mouth. She would feel the blade cutting her skin. Terrible way to die but it would mean nothing because all the lost senses would be back to her in her last moments. From the first one that left her the moment Neji died to the last after she saw Hanabi laying on that bed. She would ask for forgiveness for every mistake she did. Pointless as it was she was sure she would do it. And then darkness.
The faint light from outside reminded her that she failed. The moment he spoke, she knew. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend she didn't hear. That it didn't matter. She knew why he said that. To make her fight. He wouldn't cry or feel sad. He was telling the lie to save a life she didn't want. But her eyes opened wide and her hands raised. Because she had made a promise with herself.
The first months after Neji died she was in a frenzy state of mind. She ate the tasteless food to keep her going in her secret research of every technique she could think of to make him come back. Her actions had wondered in dangerous paths until she realised that there was nothing to be done. The colour left her eyes.
After the stillness that came with the realisation she decided that the only thing she could do was to make him proud and carry on his legacy. She trained secretly day after day not holding back anymore. She wanted to be the protector of Hanabi as he was her.
As her power growth so does the emptyness. She hoped that her strength would fill the holes. When it didn't, she could no longer sense pain.
She started hurting herself on purpose in training. Slowly she realised that the bruised skin, ugly and disgusting as it was fitted her perfectly. It was a small cut at first. A summer evening she had heard from the garden her sister and father were discussing about Neji. She didn't think why the kunai had to brush her skin. In a sense it felt appropriate.
The first thought came and passed as she blinked her eyes. It was Hanabi's birthday, where she originally planned to demonstrate her growth, to show that she was finally on his level. Her mind reminded her that he would be even stronger now, so no words were spoken.
The bits of a scene formed a plan when she kept her unmoving gaze on the ceiling. She wanted to die.
She understood what the loss of a dear could cause even if she wished her closest wouldn't experience the grief. She didn't deserve their tears.
She had to do it in a way to minimise the damage. A suicide would tear them apart. The blame after would be unbearable. She had to die in a fight. To make a mistake clumsy and weak as she was. She fed that belief daily.
It had to be a mission of some difficulty. To meet opponents that would be believable to take her out. And her partner should not be a friend. Her lifeless body in a friend's arms felt too familiar.
When her plan was ready she tried it out to make a rehearsal. That's when she understood another crucial detail. The fellow shinobi that would have to carry the burden of a teammate's death should be strong enough to complete the mission on his own. She didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of her.
Her plan went on hold. Noone met the requirements.
And then Hanabi was kidnapped. It showed the urgency for her disappearance. Any day that she was still standing someone was getting hurt. It didn't matter to stick to the plan anymore. The world held no scent. She had to leave.
Her hopes raised when he showed up. She wished for a mission with him. He was perfect in every way. He hated her, he thought she was weak and he was strong enough to face opponents of great power.
And in the end he was her downfall. All her planning and efforts were exposed under the powerful eyes. Maybe the sorrow she'd seen was to blame. You understand easier if you can relate.
She saw his chakra. He was sitting close to her yet she couldn't she him when her veins disappeared. She had fell asleep as it seemed and he had place her inside the tent. She got up and opened the front to meet the man that had saved her life twice. A deep anger filled her body.
He turned his eyes on her and again on the sword he was honing.
She wanted to hit him, to curse him for what he took out of her hands. She moved to her bag and stood in front of him. His hand kept moving in line with his katana.
"It's time to change your bandages." She spoke, supresing the anger.
"I'm fine." Not sparing any look for her.
She placed her hand on his to move the weapon out of the way.
He looked at her partly insulted of how casual she touched his sword.
He looked angry but he had lost that fight. She was more.
"It will take a minute. Stay still."
She began with the one on his arm.
"I can do that myself." He spoke as she started to unzip the white cloth.
"Do it then."
She took out the requiring items for him to treat his injury. She sat on her knees observing the man higher than her.
He cleaned the wound and took the fresh bandage.
"Apply this first." She showed his the jar she was holding.
"What's that?"
"An ointment I make." Her voice monotone, trying to hide the emotion that crawled under.
"Is it good?" There was a slight mockery.
"It's decent."
He did as he was told. She remained unfaced in his struggle to tie the bandages.
"Fuck." He cursed in his tenth try.
He turned at her.
"You can celebrate. You won."
She raised her eyes on him not making any movement. He waited for her to take the edge of the cloth he was holding. She left him hanging more time that she should before she took it and tied it around his arm.
She raised her body to meet the wound at the end of his neck.
"This will hurt." She removed the old bandages making him flinch slightly. The wound was deeper than the other. When the cold liquid touched his hurt skin his body tensed. She saw him pressing his fingers at the log he was sitting. That's how pained looked like. She brushed the liquid again to be sure his wound was clean. She blowed air to his skin to relax him. His tension caused the wound to bleed.
"What are you doing?" He turned his head at her covering the spot.
"Please turn. We will over in a minute."
He stayed there for a second. When her hand had reached the jar he was back in his original position. She slowly laid the ointment. She tried to be gentle but it still pained him.
When she finished she examined if everything were alright before she got up.
"We should go back. I can only do the basics. You need proper care."
"I'm fine. I've been worse."
She was towering his sitting body.
"Still..."
"We will continue Hyuga. We finally have a lead". He looked up to see her.
"We lost that lead. You should have wake me."
"You needed rest." He raised an eyebrow. "What's with the eagerness to go back? I thought you said you wanted to leave before we start."
"I'm telling it because you are hurt." Yet her words held no emotion.
"Oh. You worry about my sake. What about yours?" His piercing stare demanding of an explanation.
"I made a mistake." She said truthfully. It was a mistake to rely her plan on him.
He got up making her took a step back.
"How stupid do you think I am Hyuga?"
She looked back at him. The anger in his voice meant nothing to her.
"I made a mistake." She repeated.
He grabbed her arm.
"I don't know what you're planning but as long as we are partners you will fight seriously. No more games."
"You think more highly of me than you should Uchiha-san. I'm not that strong."
"If you do something like that again be sure that I will tell everyone what I have seen."
He smirked on the emotion that had finally reached her face.
"I don't plan to be the one that take back the news of your death. So behave."
It took her few moments to process his words. He had seen a lot more than he should. If she was gone she could no longer contradict what he would say. He could tell about the night she had fell on the lake, the way she fought, the scars in her body. Even if most people wouldn't believe him, some would. What this information would do to her sister, or Kiba and Shino, even Naruto, she didn't know. But she also didn't want to find out. Even in her death she would destroy their lives.
He removed his hand when he was sure she understood.
It was truly a mistake to trust him. She was wrong to believe that Uchiha Sasuke was the person he was presenting in public. She should know better that people aren't what they seemed. She thought he was cold and unfaced before death. That his loyalty was only in Naruto. It was. But that loyalty towards him expanded in everything Naruto held dear. The village, his friends, peace. If she had been careful enough to notice she would see that the last Uchiha had discarded his life to devote his whole in his ideals. He was on a mission to exterminate every darkness off the world. Pity he couldn't understand she was a part of it.

_____

She walked into the woods and he let her. It was obvious she wanted a moment to herself, maybe cry her silent tears. He was expecting to thank him for stepping in and save her life but the sense of defeat her figure had was confusing. When she came back he had finished honing his sword. Her eyes were red evidence of her crying. He had heard nothing even in the silence of the forest. He made no comment about it since he felt he had already pushed her enough. She was free to do as she pleased as long as she did her part right. He stopped from entering the little solitude the tent had to offer.
"We should discuss our options."
She sat a little further than usual and kept the same emotionless face.
"We could stay here and investigate a little more but I don't think we will find anything else. Our attackers are gone and I don't think they will appear here again." He looked to see if she was listening. When she nodded he continued.
"Maybe there is something here that we were close to discover and they tried to avoid that. But I think our best route is to follow them."
Her eyes were kept straight, almost unblinking. He thought she was lost somewhere.
"Oi." He said to wake her from her slumber.
She stayed in the same position when she spoke.
"Maybe our ambush had nothing to do with the investigation. Maybe we were attacked for the same reason as the others."
He raised an eyebrow but she didn't saw it.
"We also were part of the war." She finally spoke before she turned to look at him.
This was unsettling because what she said held a truth. So far they hadn't made a connection other than the fact the victims were veterans of the great war. He thought there was one that they missed. But if what she said was true he couldn't find a connection more than that. He had never seen the others and even with her who was a shinobi from the same village their paths were slightly interwined. There had to be more. Something he was missing.
"Let's search more about the last victim."
That made her look at him confused.
"We know he had no family."
"But he had a friend who always visited. We will talk with him."
"But.." she looked at one direction as their attackers had come from there.
"You can learn a lot from a person's eyes. You said that yourself."
He could see an emotion finally reaching her eyes when she turned.
"So what do you see in mine Hyuga?"
He said it to taunt her. To flame these eyes that were dead a second ago.
"Regret and sorrow."
The small smirk he was holding disappeared. He stayed still as she was watching him. Her eyes searched his face for something. He wanted her to stop. To turn her gaze elsewhere. He screamed enough but no sound heard.
He sensed she found what she was looking.
"Loyalty and love." She turned her eyes to the trees as she stood up.
He took a breath. Wasn't he breathing before?
"You should show both your eyes. Otherwise it's incomplete."
Her bow and exit, her entering the tent and closing it afterwards didn't stopped the trembling he felt deep under his skin in a space he couldn't quite place.