a/n if anyone is going through this you can always DM me and message me and I hope your okay <3. also I tried my best to describe what a panic attack feels to me, they could feel differently :)
I don't get panic/anxiety attacks too often but when I do get them, their horrible. it feels like I'm dying in a really slow and painful way, like everyones looking at you and judging, you're trying to think but you can't then you start to black out. Sometimes they happen for a reason and other times its just randomly. panic attacks suck.
Jaden didn't know about them but I don't think I need to tell him because I haven't had one in months.
I'm walking to the Walton's house because why wouldn't I? and because Jaden texted me to come over.
I knock on their door, Javon answers.
"sup wanna. where's Jaden?" I ask.
"sup y/n/n. I think he's in his room"
I simply nod and go upstairs towards Jaden's room. I knock.
"come in" I hear him say. I walk in and jump on his bed. He's laying on his bed watching TikTok.
"hey boo- bear" I joke (that hurt to write💀)
he pushes me off the bed and I land on his carpet.
"call me that ever again y/n I swear to god" he says sarcastically.
We both chill for a while, he's checking instagram and TikTok and I lay my head and look in with him, Every once in a while we both laugh at a few edits of me and him or a video.
Then I feel something, it can't really be described but it feels like there's not enough air in my lungs, like I'm underwater. My clothes feel tight. like their choking me, I try to think of what to do, like tell Jaden or do anything but it feels like my mind is blank, I can only think of how much it hurts.
Without me knowing it, I get up to lean against the wall. I can't see anything, I can only hear my rapid heartbeat, my eyes are watering and my tears spill, my head is spinning.
I feel hands grab me gently, I'm not sure if my eyes are closed or if I just can't see. I hear a voice, it's not clear what they're saying.
then I hear Jaden. His voice is comforting.
"its okay I'm here. you're alright" he's whispering to me. He continues to whisper comforting things to me. "I'm here y/n" "don't worry I got you"
slowly my vision is returning but everything is blurry. The light is blinding me. I can still hear and feel my fast and un-even breathing. I see Jaden sitting beside me on the floor, just the sight of him helps me calm down. He was holding my hand and looking at me, I think he realised that I was a little better because his expression changed, I'm not sure how it changed but it did.
"I'm so sor-" you begin but he cuts you off.
" don't apologise y/n. its not your fault. are you okay?" he asks. he looks worried.
" yeah I'm fine now. just a bit tired" after panic attacks it feels like all the energy is drained from my body, I feel weak.
I must look really tired too because Jaden, without saying a word, picks me up effortlessly and places me on the bed. He lays down beside me. His arm wraps around my waist, protectively.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help you y/n" he whispers.
"no no Jaden you helped me so much more than you think." I respond quickly. I don't want him to think he couldn't help.
He kisses me and I kiss him back. it was a gentle kiss. we fell asleep, I felt safe and loved.
I love this boy.
A/N I was too bored so I wrote this and I kinda like it 💪🏼💪🏼
anyway feel free to leave requests. Also thank you all so much for over 1k reads :))
hope ya'll are alright ❤️
