soldier | irwin

thirteen

It already had been about three weeks since Calum and I had went to the beach together and we had been texting nonstop since then. I really enjoyed his company but whenever I spent time with him it made me miss Ashton even more. Calum treated me like a princess, he would make food for me or cuddle with me while watching sad movies; all the things Ashton used to do for me. I had really missed that kind of stuff and I was glad to somehow fill that black hole inside of me.

Me and Ashton had been chatting over skype for a few times but he didn't videocall me very often because his schedule was very tight and he didn't have much free time, but he told me that he was doing fine and that's what I cared about most.

What kind of concerned me was that he didn't tell me what had happened the past few days, he always kept changing the subject whenever I asked him about his day. I was worried. What if something had happened? What if some of his mates were hurt or even dead? Keeping things away from me wasn't something he would normally do. Ashton and I didn't have any secrets, we were always completely honest with each other and we had promised each other a long time ago that we would never keep things from one another. Ashton hasn't been telling anything about his experiences he made in the Iraq, nevertheless I still told him about my past few days (which weren't that exciting). I told him that I had been spending a few days with Calum but he didn't seem to care, he just always changed the subject when I talked about him or he just shrugged. Ashton was changing, I could see it right in front of me but I couldn't do anything. He was thousand of miles away, on another continent, another timezone. He was just so unreachable.

Sighing I turned off my laptop after another nervewreckint skype call with Ashton. His smile seemed to have faded away, it had been a very long time since I had heard him giggle and he never called me "baby" or "babe" anymore. It seemed like I was only "Mirelle" to him. Which hurt. A lot.

I slowly got up and decided to do some grocery shopping since the fridge was almost completely empty. I put on some shoes and a coat and grabbed the car keys.

Once I was inside the car, I started the engine and drove onto the highway straight to Target . The radio was playing some cheesy old love song, that me and Ashton used to listen to all the time. I quickly turned it off and kept staring on the road in front of me.

Arriving at Target, I got a shopping cart and went through the isles and put some stuff here and there that I thought I needed into the cart. I didn't really look where I was going, I just kept on staring onto the floor which caused me to run into a shelf full of dog food.

"God damn." I groaned and kneeled down to grab all the packages and put them back where they belonged. I felt like everyone around me was staring at me which made me feel very uncomfortable. I blushed and pushed a strand of my hair out of my face. Why does this always happen to me?

I grabbed my shopping cart again and walked to the cashier to pay for all the grocery.

I didn't realize until later that I had subconsciously bought Ashton's favorite chocolate, Ashton's favorite chicken soup, Ashton's favorite cheese, just everything that I knew Ashton liked. My heart started to hurt even more and I needed some kind of distraction.

I grabbed my phone and clicked on Calum's contact, not even thinking about it for a second.

"Hello?" Calum answered groggily, sounding like he had been sleeping.

"Hey Cal, it's me. Did I wake you? I can call back later, I-" I rambled, putting all the groceries into the fridge.

"No, no. It's fine. I should have gotten up either way." He said.

"Oh, okay."

"So.." He mumbled.

"So?"

"Uh, why did you call me? Or did you accidentally dial my number?" He giggled.

"Oh, right. No, I'm just bored and I have nothing to do and I wondered if you wanted to hang out or something." I half lied.

"I'd love to. Let me just get ready."

"Do you want to come over or should I come over?"

"I can pick you up and we can go out to eat something and then we can go back to my apartment if you want."

"Yeah, that sounds good." I answered, closing the fridge and leaning against it with my back.

"Okay, I'll pick you up in 20. Is that alright?" He asked.

"Yes, that's perfect. See you." I ended the call and put my phone back into my pocket.

I closed my eyes and let myself slide down the fridge to the floor. Why was I always running straight to Calum when I was missing Ashton? I could have easily called Lauren, because she always knows how to get my mind off things but the past few days I had been thinking about Calum a lot and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

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this update is really yucky and short im so sorry my writing seems to get worse with every chapter but i think i know what im doing now