Innocent Lust

Adulting

I just have cried myself to sleep at some point because I wake up on the kitchen floor. I hear the front door close. I quickly stand up and brush myself off.

I know there is no hiding my puffy eyes so I will do my best to avoid looking directly at Beck.

"Good morning," Beck says as he sets down a bunch of bags.

"Good morning?" I shuffle through the bags.

"Toys for Emerson," he smiles at me.

"Good! Let's bring them up to him!" I grab a couple bags and begin to carry them upstairs with Beck.

I grab my key and unlock the door.

Emerson is still asleep, sprawled all over the bed. His hair is in his mouth and his pillow is covered in drool.

I motion for Beck to be quiet and just set the toys down.

We quickly and quietly do so and close the door. I lock it back up.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I have to go to base now," Beck says.

"Okay. I'll probably be there later. I still need to talk to the other guy I saved," I sigh and head towards Sage and I's room.

"You can take a day off you know?" Beck stands a few feet away from me with his hand on his hips.

"I know," I give him a reassuring smile and continue to head to my room.

I walk in and see Sage is still asleep. I lay down next to him, tucking my head into his neck. I feel him move to wrap his arms around me.

I don't know why or how but I start crying again. The comfort of having him made me break again. I already cried so much last night I am shocked I have any more tears.

Sage instantly wakes up.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" his voice is tired but he sounds worried.

I sniffle unable to get words out.

It take a moment but I finally say, "I just need to cry."

Sage nods and holds me tighter as I cry into his chest. I sob until I can't anymore. Sage holds me the whole time.

When I stop shaking and my breathing is finally under control Sage speaks, "Are you okay?"

I nod my head yes and sit up. I have a raging headache now.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I'm just so stressed and scared. I have been taking care of the mafia and a child and you were dying. And my mom died. My father is dying. I- just- and- ugh," I hit my hand against the bed on either side of me.

"I am so sorry about your mom," Sage says looking down, "I tried to save her."

"It's not your fault," I kiss his cheek. "She was my best friend though. I loved her so much."

"I know. I am sorry, love."

"You want to talk about anything?" I ask Sage, bringing the topic away from me.

"My parents are going away for a while. Just thought I would let you know. I am off bed rest tomorrow."

Emerson knocks on the door, "Come in."

He walks over to my side up the bed and I help lift him up with Sage and I.

"What's wrong?" Emerson wipes a tear from my face.

"My mother died," I tell him.

He frowns, "It's gonna be okay."

His little toddler voice makes me smile.

"Do you want a haircut? Or do you want to keep it long?" I ask Emerson changing the subject.

"Hair cut!" he says quickly.

"Okay, let's go," I get up and head to the bathroom.

***

"I'll take him to the barber," Sage says as he looks at the haircut I gave Emerson.

Emerson uncovers his eyes and looks in the mirror. I feel bad. I fucked up his hair badly. He stares at himself for a minute with wide eyes and then he... smiles. He actually smiles. For the first time since I have seen him. One of his front teeth is missing which just makes his smile that much more adorable.

"It's so bad," Emerson laughs. His cute giggle echoes in the bathroom.

I am not even offended I am so happy he is laughing! And smiling! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest.

I look at Sage who looks just as surprised as I do.

"Ready to head to the barber shop with me?" Sage asks.

"No," I say, "You are still on bed rest until tomorrow!"

"We can't let him walk around like that," Sage says with wide eyes.

I look at Emerson who is still laughing at his hair. His cute high pitched giggle is a sound I will cherish.

"Have Uncle Carmelo or Grandpa Marcus take me," Emerson says.

"Would that be okay? You going alone with one of them?" I ask to double check. To make sure he knows I will not be there.

"Yeah," he smiles.

***

I called Carmelo and Marcus and they are both on there way.

When they get here and see Emerson they look horrified.

"Who would do such a thing?" Carmelo says exasperatedly.

"It looks hideous," Marcus laughs.

The different lengths in Emerson's hair makes it stuck out all over. I laugh a little too.

"Just go fix it," I roll my eyes with a smile.

"Bye," Emerson runs up and hugs me.

"Bye, Emerson," I hug him back tightly.

The door closes and I sprint upstairs.

I run into our room.

"I sent them to a barber shop that is thirty minutes away. That gives us plenty of time alone!" I smile at Sage who looks shocked.

"Oh good let's take a nap," he says as he rolls over in bed.

That's not what I had in mind.

"Okay," I say anyway and lay next to him, pretending to not mind.

When I am next to him he laughs.

"What?"

"I was joking," he says as he slide his hand inside my underwear.