Look what we became (Bucky Barnes X fem reader)

Chapter 16

Y/n's POV
"My life story." I blurted.
...........

"Your life story?"
"Yeah. I know you're probably very confused and I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before. But the only reason I didn't tell you this is because I was afraid of letting you see the dark aspects of my life that I buried long ago." I say as I start to panic. Bucky immediately gets up beside me and stretches his metal arm around to my left arm and holds my right hand in his.
"Hey, hey calm down, you don't need to be afraid. You shouldn't be afraid of telling me anything doll. I will listen to you and love you no matter what it is that you've been through doll." Bucky said.

As those words filled my ears, I hushed my elevated heartbeats back to normal.
"I want you to tell me everything there is that needs to be said about your past. I need you to tell me my love." Bucky exclaimed.
I took in a deep breath and then exhaled.
"The reason I said 'It's good to be back home', while I was at the academy because it is my home. At least it's the place that felt like a home." I started as Bucky and I laid our backs against the headboard whilst him still holding me.
"I had two younger brothers and a mom and dad. Like most people do. But the only difference was that my parents were abusive and they tortured me a lot. They would take all their anger out on me every time they fought with each other or had a rough day at work or just for no reason. They did it every day. I wasn't their daughter, I was their personal slave that they could beat up like slab of meat into shape. But it was different for my brothers. They were treated like princes of a royal family. My parents loved them more than anything. My brothers were the apples-of-their-eyes." I tell while sucking in breath to help myself hold back tears.

Bucky's grip tightens on me. I feel bad that he has to listen to all my blabber about my past.
"Right now I feel soo ashamed of myself. I feel like I'm an extremely self-absorbed narcissist. Because you are always there for me and you always take care of me and I'm not even able to do half of that." I say to Bucky. He instantly shoots me a look of shock.
"Don't you ever say again. You are not a self-absorbed narcissist and you are always there for me. You always have been. You gave me a chance when no one did doll. And I will always love you for that. So don't ever say something like that again." He says as calmly as he can. I reach in give him a quick soft kiss on the lips and gaze into his eyes.
"How did I get soo lucky to have a boyfriend life you?" I said softly.
"I mean I am one of kind." He complemented himself making me laugh.

"You look soo pretty when you laugh." He said caressing my right cheek as I smiled at him.
"Anyways, by all means carry on with your story. I want to hear it all." Bucky requested.
"As I was saying, my brothers were loved more than anything and no matter what they did my parents always appreciated them. Both my brothers were dumbasses, I was the one with the brains. I had always been the smartest person in class. I would get all A's in my exams and tests. I was ahead of all the other kids. So far that my teachers called me a prodigy. I could solve the hardest of math problems within minutes or even seconds. I was a brilliant science student and I loved science a lot. But my parents on the other hand never cared about it."
"Damn my girlfriend was considered a prodigy. I am such a lucky man." He said in a sort of sarcastic voice. I chuckled.

"One day I walked into school with a scar on my forehead. I was usually good at hiding them with my hair but that day my science teacher noticed it."
"After everyone in my class left for lunch my science teacher, Mrs. Ryan, told me to say stay back because she said she had to ask me something." I say with a sigh. Bucky focuses even more deeply.

"When she asked me about my scar and who did it I lied and told her that I got hurt while riding my bike. She didn't believe me. She then told me to role up my sleeve and when I did- I — ." The tears that I was holding back with all my strength, started pouring out and broke down. Talking or even thinking about my past has always been really hard for me.
Bucky started wiping my tears.

"Hey doll it's okay don't cry. I hate seeing you cry. Don't worry, I understand your pain. I get that your parents were douche bags but you don't need to worry about them anymore. They can't hurt you now." He sympathised.
"Bucky they weren't douche bags, they were monsters who ruined my childhood. They are reason I stopped believing in love and happiness. I was a wreck because of them." I say with shedding more tears.

"But anyways, my science teacher saw all my scars on my hands and feet and everywhere else. Since she was a women I could show it to her. That day I told her about everything that was going on at home. I was 14 years old at the time and I had known everything there was to know about this cruel world. I made her promise that she wouldn't tell anyone about it." I continue while wiping my tears.

"I always wanted to run away and go as far as possible from my parents. But I didn't know how to. I didn't know where I would go or what I would do so I just couldn't do it. But then I talked to Mrs. Ryan about it and asked her what I should do. At the time S.H.I.E.L.D had newly developed an academy for smart young minds like mine. And S.H.I.E.L.D was everywhere. It could be anyone. Mrs. Ryan use to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent but she left it for a normal life. But she stayed in touch."

"So then when I told her that I wanted to run away and that I was fed up of living in utter pain and agony she told me about the SSR academy. She told me that I would be safe over there and my talents won't be wasted or go unnoticed over there." I said with a slight smile.

"So that's why you said that the SSR academy was your home, because you ran away and started living there." Bucky said understanding the scenario.
"That's not all. And it wasn't that easy to run away. I had been prepping to run away for days. For days I would take a few clothes and things that I would need in future to school and I stashed them in my school locker. It took a few days because Mrs. Ryan had to get me admitted in the academy. And when everything was ready, I took out everything from my locker and stuffed it in my bag. And after school I never went home. I didn't care what my parents would do because they were probably happy I left." I explained taking a pause.

"I think what you did was a brave and good decision. No one should have to live the way you did." Bucky spoke moving his hand slowly up and down my back.
"It was a good decision because being at the academy made me soo happy. I had access to tools, information and I was with more people like me. I made a few friends and it was all good. You know that is how I met Fury. He came by at the academy one day. He was very very young at the time and he was only an agent not the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. When I finished my education, I instantly applied to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. I continued my research and projects but I became an excellent agent. I'm actually level 10. Not many people are level 10 S.H.I.E.L.D agents. I trained day and night to be the best." I say with relief.

"And now look how far you've come love. You're an avenger. An amazing fighter. And the best girlfriend in the whole world." Bucky praised. I smiled at that.

"You know I always thought that between both my parents, my mother hated me the most. And after seeing her I swore to myself that one day when I have kids of my own, I would be the best mom and I would do anything for my kids." I tell.
"You want kids?" Bucky asked raising an eyebrow.
"Of course, don't you?" I questioned.
"I do. I always wanted to have kids of my own. I mean after living for what 95 years or so you kinda start wanting a family." He said.
"Why didn't you ever tell me you wanted kids?"
"I was afraid you wouldn't like it if I said that and I started thinking if you would then want to break up with me. And I didn't want to apply any kind of pressure on you, because I couldn't stand the thought of a life without you. I love you soo much, more than words can say." He declared innocently.
"Babe, I would never break up with you. And I love you more than anything. You are the first and last love of my life. And having or not having kids is something that most couples talk about. But it looks like we don't have to talk about it since we both want children. I actually kinda want us to have kids." I say shyly, while holding both his hands in mine.
He didn't respond for a minute and kept staring deep into my eyes. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster by the second.

But all he did was pull me into a deep kiss.
"I want us to have kids too." He said with the biggest smile.

"Then let's have some fun like we decided we would." I suggest smirking.
"As much as I would love to fuck you right now doll, I'm kinda of tired. Even though I haven't done much today." He said with a yawn.
"It's okay. I'm tired too."
"But that doesn't stop me from having sex with you in the morning when I wake up." He vocalised smirkingly.
I let out a little laugh and gave him a good kiss before we started to cuddle and fell asleep. I almost drifted off to sleep when I felt him press a light kiss on my forehead.

A/n: Should I do a smut for the next chapter?