17| Truth Be Told

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Jennie

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Jennie

"I had to push you away.. to protect you".

As soon as I heard those words fall out of Lisa's lips, my heart dropped to the floor, and I felt my ears ring in anticipation to know why she said that. Have I been blinded by how I felt for quite this time?

"What?".

"You heard me, Jen". The smile on her face held so much pain,"The reason I left the next morning after making love to you, was due to my fears, and because I fear love more than anything, but the main reason is due to your safety".

"Protect me from what or who?". I try to keep my voice even, to not shake beneath what she was unraveling in front of me.

"Your mother and Seth, Jennie".

"Your mother and Seth, Jennie"

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"My mother?". My lips parted, as I gulped hard, "Lisa, what are you saying?".

She got up and shook her head before ruffling her hair to the side in frustration, "I tried so hard to understand it, Jennie, but I couldn't. I wasn't planning to leave you that night. God, I never would've had the balls to ever do such a thing".

As her gaze remains on the ground, I hold myself from telling her to shut up and to not worry or explain herself; but I had to know.

No matter how I feared hearing the next words coming from her mouth.

And what do we know about fear?

That it is a powerful emotion that can be both paralyzing and motivating? That fear can drive us to take action to protect ourselves, or it can lead us to avoid the very things we need to hear the most? One of the hardest things in life is facing a situation where we need to hear the truth, even when we know it might not be what we want to hear.

Lisa was like my mirror, standing in front of me and reflecting my oceans—but she was more calm, I've always been the temper.

The fear of what we might hear keeps us from having that conversation.

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