Let Yourself Fall (Liam Payne)

Chapter 23 ~ Darcy

Chapter 23 ~ Darcy

As soon as Liam leaves the room with the nurse pushing him in the wheel chair I approach Mrs Payne and take her hand softly, trying to give some comfort to a woman who is clearly in pain. "It's oaky, Mrs Payne. Liam will be fine," I tell her hoping he will be okay. 

Fear of losing him didn't let me sleep last night and then Mrs Payne got here and as she didn't want to wake Liam, we started to talk. She told me everything about Liam's condition and what he had to go through when he was just a kid. I still can't believe he didn't tell me anything and yes, it hurts me that he didn't. I feel like he doesn't trust me enough to share with me those things. Now I know it's not like that, but it still feels that way. 

"I just can't believe we have to go through this again. I thought it was over, I though he was finally fine," she blurts out, her voice breaking at the end of the sentence. I squeeze her hand gently not knowing exactly what to say in a situation like that. "I- he's a good kid, he doesn't deserve this. I've always blamed myself for this but if I did something wrong, he shouldn't pay for my mistakes!" 

"It's nobody's fault, don't say that. Things like this always happen and no one deserves to suffer, but we can't help it and blaming ourselves doesn't solve anything either. The best we can do is to be strong and fight our hardest," I tell her hoping my words will get to her somehow. 

She raises her sight and her eyes meet mine. Hers are big and warm, sweet and kind, like Liam's eyes and even though her smile is weak, I know it is honest. "Thank you, Darcy. I'm really happy Liam has you now. You're a good girl," she replies taking my hand between both of hers. 

"I really care about him," I say softly feeling my cheeks burning. "I'm sorry we had to meet like this," I add next with a shy smile. Truth be told, I never expected to meet Liam's mum in the hospital. 

"Things don't go as planned all the time, do they?" She says and I nod with a sad smile. That couldn't be more truthful. "Maybe you should go home now, your own mother must be worried sick. I'll call you if something happens, okay?" 

I'm reluctant to go, not until I know everything is under control with Liam and he's back from the exams, but Mrs Payne is right, Mum must be really worried. I called her last night letting know that Liam was hospitalised and that I was staying with him. She is leaving tonight and I should at least spend this last day with her, but Liam needs me as well. 

Ugh, talking about being torn. 

"Uh... I'll wait till he's back and then I'll go home. The lads must be on their way, I guess, so soon it will be too crowded." 

"And loud, don't forget that. Those boys truly don't know how to be quiet. They leave a mess wherever they go," Mrs Payne jokes with a light laughter and I can only smile back at her. She's right, all of them are quite loud. "But they are excellent boys and it makes me happy that Liam has such a good friends." 

"They are like brothers," I state and she nods agreeing with me. "I'm gonna go for coffee. Do you want some?" I ask her as I see her so tired, dark bags under her eyes already. 

"Please," is all what she answers and I nod before letting go of her hand and walking out of the room, looking for a vending machine. 

My chest still feels tight and my heartbeats are heavy. I can't get rid of the uneasiness that is choking me. Saying that I'm worried is an understatement; I'm way beyond that. I don't know much about kidney failure, I don't know what to do in these situations, how to help Liam. 

I keep walking distractedly, my mind only focused on this problem we have in our hands right now; I don't even know then moment I stop walking standing there in the hall like a lonely soul crying in sorrow. I feel powerless and ignorant, I wish I could do more than just being here and I hate feeling like this.