Choices [ENG]

18.

I join Tommy for training. Tommy hands me a shotgun and offers me a challenge: hit the farthest target in light motion. "No problem" I say even before trying. I shoot and miss him completely. "Ouch, where did your deadly aim go?" Asks Tommy to provoke me. "I'm a little out of practice, give me another chance and if I catch it I'll get rid of this bad figure, okay?" I answer before getting back into position. I shoot and peck at the center of the target. Tommy gives me a high five. "Good but the fool from before remains" he says, pushing me. I reciprocate the thrust.

After an hour of training, we set off in a part of Jackson that I had never seen before. It is very close to the border and there are expanses of plants.

"How are you? We haven't talked in a while," it says as we walk. "I'm fine, Tommy, maybe better than usual," I reply. Tommy raises his eyebrows. "Ah, that's why you missed the mark today," he replies. "Stop it! It was just distraction ..." I continue.

"So the rumor about you and Jesse is false, I guess ..."

I get a certain embarrassment.

"Er ..."

"Charlie,you can tell me ... don't you trust me yet?" He asks, stopping and looking me in the eyes.

"Yes, of course I do, blindly," I reply.

"So what? Are you ashamed to talk about it with an old man like me?" he says, pointing himself with both hands.

"No, it's not that ... it's that nobody should know for now"

"I understand ..." Tommy says starting to walk again.

"But" I start again after a while, taking up the subject again. "I would need some advice," I say.

"I'm full-eared," Tommy replies softly.

"Tonight he invited me to his house and ... I don't know if I'm ready ..." I continue.

"Will it be just the two of you?"

"Yes ..." I reply with a low look.

"And do you think he already wants to take this big step?" He asks.

"I don't know, but in case he wants to? What should I tell him? I'm afraid of hurting his feelings ..."

"If you don't feel like it, you have to tell him. Jesse is a smart guy, he won't take it and in case he does, you already know who to call," he replies.

Tommy's words envelop me like a soft blanket and I suddenly feel safe from my worries.

I thank him.

"There is one thing that doesn't come back to me though" I continue, after a while.

"What?"

"When Dina found out about it, she reacted strangely"

"What do you mean with that?"

"It was as if she was very shaken by this news but I don't understand her: she's with Ellie, she chose her. No?"

"See Charlie, people are not just ONE thing, they are MANY things and they have a thousand nuances. Perhaps in her mind, some defense mechanism has been triggered that up until that moment, she had not even considered. Dina and Jesse have known each other for years and Jesse has never had so many girls around; maybe you're a novelty to work out, nothing to worry about. " he continues.

I did really well to talk to him, considering he knows these people much better than I do.

"Thanks Tommy," I say, looking up at him.

"Not at all, baby," he says, pulling my head close to his chest.

We cover the whole field and then we turn to go back.