Choices [ENG]

9.

I see the light filtering through my bedroom window: it is early but I can no longer sleep when the sun rises. I turn my face against the pillow: I'm really tired, considering that every two days I go to the outpost. It's really tiring, but it's a very important thing. I turn to the center of the room and it comes to mind when Tommy gave me the diary two weeks ago right here. What a beautiful moment, I was moved for the first time in my life.

I uncover my left arm from the blankets, I stretch and my gaze falls on my bracelet: I don't know which of the two gifts moved me the most. Tommy is so nice to me, and I think he occasionally still feels guilty about what happened with Maria. I turn back to the wall. I should go and see how Jesse is: I haven't seen him for 6 days. He has barricaded himself in the house and only goes out to go to the outpost paired with Glenn. Nick also told me he can't talk to him, and if his (almost) younger brother can't, I doubt I can. I'm a little sorry because I thought I was important to him, but maybe I just deluded myself.

I look at my watch: it is almost 6 am. I decide to get up and go to the gym for a while so I will have the afternoon off. Maybe Nick and I can go for a walk. We have got into this habit, and we try every day to take a walk. We always talk about everything that goes through our heads, and we always have a lot of fun. It's amazing how until a few weeks ago, we barely talked to each other and now we're practically best friends. I'm always tempted to tell him about Axel, but I wouldn't want to throw him down too, we only need one.

I finally get out of bed and get dressed. I go out: it's really very cold. I walk quickly to the gym. I walk in and find Nick already punching the punching bag. "Do you sleep in here?" I ask, approaching him. Nick laughs. "You'll be surprised to know you're not the first to ask me," he replies. "Did you sleep well?" he asks. "Yes, but not enough," I reply. "Quality is more important than quantity," he replies, throwing a very strong right hook at the punching bag. "Have you also become a sage in the meantime?" I ask. Nick laughs and after an even stronger left hook, he stops and leans on the punching bag. "Have you already had breakfast?" He asks. "No," I reply, running a hand over my face still asleep. "So, will we go together in half an hour?" He asks. "Sure, gladly" I reply and decide to train myself a bit with my fists.

Satisfied with the training, Nick and I get to the cafeteria pretty much before everyone else. We take some food and sit down. "Have you seen Dina?" I ask as I blow on my tea. "Yes, I ran into her last night but I couldn't talk to her much. She says, however, that everything is fine with Ellie," he explains. I nod. After all, we are all happy that Ellie and Dina are seriously dating, but we also have a slight contempt for them because it has melted our group a bit. We haven't all been around a table or someone's house for days to spend an evening together. I didn't realize how much I cared about this group before this mess happened. "You know we should talk to Jesse, right?" I ask. "It's been days now and I guess he's heartbroken but sooner or later he'll have to face reality." Nick seems to agree. Suddenly Glenn and Alison join us and a certain joy rises.

"Good morning lads!" Glenn exclaims. "How come you wake up so early?" Alison asks. "Insomnia" Nick and I reply in chorus. We laugh, perhaps with too much emphasis. "You?" I ask. "We have to go to the outpost with Austin and Ilary," says Alison. "Good luck!" I exclaim sarcastically, thinking back to the chat with that funny Ilary. "Why do you say that? Do you know her?" Nick asks. For a second, I am afraid of having to tell him everything I know about Ilary, but then I realize that I can very well avoid it. "The other day I could not find the old barn, I asked her for information but honestly I preferred to do 80 laps of Jackson rather than receive constant insults" I explain.

Nick laughs: he wouldn't do that if he knew who I saw her with, just some minutes later.

"Listen guys, tonight we're going to have a beer at the new barn: are you coming?" Glenn asks. "Why not" I reply. "Perfect, meet you there at 21," says Alison. After that, they get up and leave: the outpost awaits them. "But did those two start dating?" I ask Nick. "I shouldn't tell you, but it happened a couple of times already that I saw Glenn go out at unreasonable times saying that he" has to do something ", but it is obvious that this" thing "bears the name of Alison," says Nick. He nudges him. "You are awful!" I exclaim. "You asked me!" He exclaims. "Anyway, after the expedition with Austin and Ilary, they will have to go to the east outpost, alone," he explains. "The one where you have sex?" I ask. "Exactly!" He exclaims. We get up from the table and decide to leave. "But why does the eastern outpost have this reputation?" I ask curious. "Because there is what they call a 'sauna': it is a room that is heated and you have to go into it completely naked," explains Nick. I nod: he who knows if this was his real purpose in the previous world.