Illicit Affairs (Andy Barber x OC)

16 - Acceptance

Walking into the kitchen, he smiled weakly as he saw the familiar shape of Rose by the sink. She turned and sighed on seeing his expression.

"What happened?"

He chuckled his keys onto the table as she now embraced him. To him, she was his sanctuary, his home...his salvation. Andy had never felt more vulnerable in his whole life than he had done lately. "She's going to be indicted..."

Rose pulled away and looked at him. The last thing he'd wanted was to sit through another trial. He'd told her that himself. "But I thought you said..."

"Forget what I said. Neal decided to throw a fucking tactical curveball in court and use you as an example of how I should seek justice."

"Shit..." She ran a hand through her hair. "I should've been there."

"No, you shouldn't have. This is why I didn't want you anywhere near the hearing. I knew he'd find something."

Rose kissed him gently. He'd been suffering somewhat terrible lately, not sleeping right. She'd often wake and find his side of the bed empty in the early hours, then seeking him out where he was usually sat on the couch downstairs and staring into the darkness. Sometimes he'd even be drinking, but she was working on putting that to a stop.

He was better than that, and it killed her to see him at rock bottom. If Rose could turn back the clock, then she'd ensure that they'd do things differently.

"You hungry?" she asked.

"Not really..." He'd rather just go and drink himself into sleep. 

"You need to eat, please."

Nothing would help until Jacob woke up. She knew that.

"I'm gonna take a shower." He told her and went upstairs to wash off another of his many days from hell.

Rose watched him go and massaged the bridge of her nose. Neal loved nothing more than to re-open old wounds. There was no doubt that Andy would be once again downstairs at 3am pacing, drinking. She'd hid the whiskey earlier on so hopefully he wouldn't be able to find it.

She made the spur of the moment decision to follow him and heard the shower going from the bathroom, silently slipping in and shedding her clothes – steam hitting her. He needed to take his mind from today, and she was going to be the one to help him do so.

He hadn't heard her until he felt her arms snake around him from behind and now turned around, looking down at her as the water rained down on them both. Neither said a word as she leant up and kissed him, his hands running down her waist before he hoisted her up and against the wall. 

Rose wrapped her legs around him while he kissed her as hungrily as he could. A small 'ugh' escaping as she felt him push into her. He grunted as he began moving into her slowly before building up the pace. 

"You're holding back..." she whispered. "I can take it..."

Could she?

The harder his thrusts now became the more she moaned. And it made him all the more desperate. He loved seeing her this way, helpless against him. Control had always been something he'd made sure he had over her whenever they had been together.

She was all he had.

She was his, like he was to her.

It was just unfair as to how they'd eventually ended up like this.

Andy's mouth savoured her own, biting, tasting. Whether it be her shoulder, her neck, anywhere. His mouth would always explore. Her nails dug into his back, until finally she allowed the pleasure to take over fully and finished, Andy following soon after before he lowered her down and onto her feet again.

Her legs felt like jelly, but she managed to keep herself standing, stopping the shower, and grabbing some towels for them both. Hopefully that had helped relieve some of the stress that he'd endured today.

As Rose combed out her wet hair in the mirror, he came up behind her, kissing her shoulder and trailing it up her neck. She leant her head to the side to rest it against his. "I love you; you know that right?" He finally spoke.

"Of course I do...but you need to talk to me. I can't bear to see you like this, to wake up most nights and find you're not there?"

"I don't want to wake you..."

"I'd much rather you did than go and hunt for the nearest whiskey bottle." Rose put her hairbrush down. "Have the doctors said anymore as to when Jake may wake up?"

Andy shook his head. "Nothing."

It was a waiting game, just like everything else. Rose had visited him on a few occasions along with Andy, but since Laurie's room was now next door, she'd avoided going. She wasn't ready to see her, but now there would be a potential trial, then the subject of her being pushed down the stairs was sure to come up. Neal knew about it, and he'd sure as hell use it. 

They got changed and into bed, something that she'd once wished was normal for them. 

It had come true. She was now the one waking up to him, the one who go to feel the warmth of his body as he lay next to her night after night. It wasn't how she'd expected it to be but it would get better. 

Their plans had changed drastically. No longer was the dream to be blissful with one another and their child, but instead it was to get Jacob better and then get the three of them out of Newton and away to a better life. Andy had already filed for divorce, and that process was just beginning. 

Perhaps one day they would try again in terms of having a child of their own, but right now? the focus was on getting Jacob awake and Andy back to his old self. 

"Will you come and see him with me tomorrow?" Andy asked as they lay together sometime later. Neither of them had dropped off to sleep yet, and if Rose knew Andy's schedule well enough, he'd drop off at around 11 but would wake by 3. 

"Will you throw out all the drink and start regulating your sleep pattern?" 

He nodded. "I promise." He needed to get his head together, sort his life out. If not for Jake but for Rose and the future that they were going to build together. So far he'd been a shitty partner and was surprised that she'd not walked out on him.

If she did then he'd lose himself completely. 

If he lost her then there was no point to anything at all.