Hold Me Now

Chapter 37: Unknown

Johnny and Ava set off for the talks with their respective parents. They've both been nervous about speaking to them. Especially Johnny, who's just better at hiding his nerves than Ava. He's had years of practice at hiding. After pulling out of their driveway, at their own house, it would take them almost thirty minutes to get there.

 That's thirty minutes of thinking time. That's also thirty minutes of unrest in the mind and the heart. It's hard to go against the grain when the grain isn't a smooth cut. If it was smooth then it would be easy, and well life has never been easy for Johnny. But then sometimes easy isn't always best. Really what this all boils down to is the fear of the unknown. The fear of the unknown is probably one of the biggest fears there is.

The truth is two things will happen tonight.  Two things they can both rely on and count on. These two things will happen regardless of how they feel about it and it can never be taken back. First, there will be a solid place for them to stand on, and second, they'll be taught how to fly. For that solid place, they have it in each other. They are each other's solid place to stand. They are the rock on which the other can lean and stand. They give each other hope. Without hope, nothing can survive.

Once the truth comes out, they will for sure have to spread their wings and leave the nest. They'll have to fly on their own. Luckily they've been given a head start on that by securing a place of residence. A really nice place of residence. What a blessing that is, and blessings are few and far between in Johnny's life. However, he's learning to be less sarcastic about it and a little more hopeful. Ava is helping him see the good in the world. She's brought that into his life, and he's thankful for it.

Since they're married and have a house, they have to learn to fly on their own. Therein lies the struggle, the knowledge that you're about to lose something. Giving up the comfort and security of a sure thing, to go off and create new tidings. New tidings that are less secure because it's new. It's the whole giving voice to these things out loud that causes unease and discomfort. 

Probably the greatest thing about the unknown is you need courage. A whole lot of courage. It takes incredible courage to leave what's certain for what's uncertain. Leaving the known says "I want to be a part of something great and amazing." It's scary and very uncomfortable. Trading comfort for discomfort is no small feat. It's not for the faint of heart. But there's also a sea of possibilities swimming and circling around the new Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence too. Possibilities that they might not have had otherwise. Perhaps maturity is found in the acceptance of the not knowing. 

Johnny and Ava have each other. Already they're both in the plus category. There are no minuses so far. However, by the end of the night, they might be living on a prayer as Bon Jovi sings. It would be really nice to have their family's blessing. That's all. But even if their parents don't, which is the source of the anxiety, they'll be OK. Their loves whispers "I will shelter you. I will comfort you." That makes it bearable.

Deciding to face The Green's first, they pulled into Ava's parent's driveway. When they parked, Johnny took hold of his wife's hand. Looking at her, he declared "This is it. No turning back. It's now or never. And I'd really like to publically claim my wife, not hide away like we're some dirty little secret."

He saw her nod her beautiful head. She kept looking at him, so he told her "This is not going to be easy. I know you know that, but it needs to be said. It won't be easy, but what we have is worth it. If this was easy then everyone would do it. This is just part of us growing together. And why am I the one saying all this profound shit? That's your job." She laughed at his words.