For Every Lost Soul (PAUSED)

C H A P T E R | T W E N T Y F I V E {Pangs of Pain and Pleasure}

NOT EDITED THIS IS A MESS I'M SORRY DON'T HATE ME

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C H A P T E R | T W E N T Y   F I V E

{Pangs of Pain and Pleasure}

They continued to talk as if they didn't think I knew what they were saying.

A pang of pain set off and I wondered if I should just put myself out of misery. What if I just stepped out in front of a racing engine and let that hit me instead of the guilt? Let that steel bruise me instead of my sleepless nights. Maybe then I could close my eyes fully and let the rest come.

With the picture frame hugged against my chest, I stepped towards the door of the living room. They had moved from it, but ever so slightly I could hear them down the hall. Saying things like, maybe she shouldn't stay here. She might feel better somewhere else. She should take something today.

I should step away from the house where all the grief lingers.

The hinges creaking and the frame digging into my arms, I left the room.

"Norah?" He called out, as if my name was a surprise to him.

I had turned my head to meet his gaze with my hair in my face. His piercing stare was hurting me and I had to escape it somehow. So I lurched towards the front door to the house, churning the keys in the lock and clicking it free. His footsteps behind me shook against the wooden floors. But I was throwing my feet down stone steps into the setting day. I ran down the rocky driveway with every gasp somehow cleansing the sourness, by washing through my eyes.

"Where are you going?" He called out, as if there was no where else I could be.

Miles down the road the roar of an engine was nearing and my feet stumbled along the road. Standing confused; I thought that maybe that was a sign. Maybe someone was coming for me and they could take me away from it all. I didn't even have to be in the car.

I didn't want Carter to come after me. No one needed to touch me, or breathe on me because I already felt like a thousand hands were tearing me apart. Limb by limb. Tissue by tissue. Thought by thought.

These hands were searing, burning me white hot.

Dim headlights were lighting the road yellow, spreading across my shoes and towards my ankles. The small round shape of the vehicle I could make out clearly as the horn hooted loudly.

With every inch towards me, standing numb in the middle of the road, the car slowed its pace.

"Get out of the way-" Carter was rushing down the steps- "Norah can you hear me?"

With every bit forwards Carter came, the more I wanted to run too. Far away.

The car zoomed past me, casting winds around me, while I picked up my speed. I was sprinting away from the screaming person behind me, legs working harder. The picture frame was caught in my fingers.

Hair whirling and tears prickling I spread out across the grass, hoping he couldn't catch me.

But he was gaining on me everytime I peeked behind my shoulder. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care anymore because everything was broken as well as missing.

Even with the energy I possessed Carter's hand latched onto my arms, snatching me to a jolting stop. His face was red and panting in my own, his own hair falling into his eyes.