Into the Void

Lost in Grief

UGH!!! I rewrote the beginning of this chapter at least five times. Damn you, Trunks - your POV was a bitch to write in this chapter! Lmao! But I hope I did it justice and I hope you all like it!!

18- Lost in Grief

Trunks watched Pan walk into her room with his heart pounding in his chest. He let out a sigh once her door clicked shut softly. He could feel his arms shaking, and he clenched his fist tightly. It was taking everything in him not to go into Pan's room and -

Trunks groaned loudly at his r-rated thoughts, and he rubbed his knuckles against the side of his head. He wanted to ask what in the hell was wrong with him, but he already knew. He's exhausted in every possible way: mentally, physically, and emotionally. Over the last several days, sleep had been rare. The ship had needed him, and he had needed it. Working on the ship had kept his mind busy, but now there was nothing to do. They would be landing on the planet in just a few days.

Now that there was nothing to keep his mind or his hands occupied, Trunks' mind flooded with thoughts. His head pounded as the overwhelming grief and guilt began to consume him. He should have been a better captain. His mother had trusted him to find the black star Dragon Balls and return home. Trunks had failed her and everyone else on the earth. He had let Goku and everyone die. Worst yet, he had made Pan believe it was all her fault.

The feeling was hollow and sickening. Trunks had meant every word he had told Pan earlier. He would have died with her right then and there. Their family would have understood. The only reason why the two of them were still alive was because of Pan. For some reason, she saw something in him.

Pan. His Panna. If he hadn't gotten up when he did earlier, he would have lost her. The thought terrified him. If he had lost her, then he really wouldn't be standing there now. He would have followed her because she didn't deserve to be alone.

Trunks didn't even realize he was heading towards Pan's room until he knocked on her door. He opened it up, and Pan turned in her bed to look at him. He had no idea what he was doing, but he knew what he wanted.

"Panna, I know this is going to sound forward, and if you say no, I promise to respect your opinion," Trunks said.

"What? What is it?" She asked as she sat up.

Trunks held her gaze as he swallowed hard. "Can I hold you?"

Pan blinked slowly like she was surprised by his question. Trunks felt ridiculous and embarrassed as his body grew hot. How stupid could he be?! She probably thought he was a weirdo or pervert!

Trunks tried to cover his nerves with a laugh. "Sorry -"

"Yes," Pan's soft voice cut him off. Quietly, she lifted her blankets and patted the spot beside her.

Trunks breathed a sigh of relief as he walked over to her bed. It was silent as they laid down, and when Trunks wrapped his arm around Pan's small waist, he was surprised to feel the soft skin of her stomach. Her shirt must have ridden up when they laid down, and the fact that she wasn't trying to pull it down made Trunks' heart pound.

Slowly, Trunks moved his hand across Pan's back and sprawled his fingers out on her smooth skin. Pan sighed, her breath ghosting across Trunks' neck and causing him to shiver.

"Is this okay?" He whispered.

"Yes," Pan nodded. Carefully, her hands grabbed the bottom of his shirt before they slipped inside. Her small hands were warm as she pressed her palms against the muscles of his stomach, and Trunks felt himself tensing. Pan tilted her head back to look at him. "It's more than okay."