CHAPTER SEVEN
point of view | yasmine alaoui
...
"did you see billies outfit at the met gala?" i questioned pulling up her photos. zayne closed his now empty salad container and shook his head no. i handed him my phone which he hesitantly took from my hands.
his facial expression stayed dry, his words contradicting his expression, "she looks good."
i smiled nodding my head agreeing with him before stating, "it was so cute, because she was saying how she was so nervous. ugh, she is amazing. i love her." i smiled at the photo.
"did you see dojas worm outfit?" he asked me and i giggled smiling, nodding my head. he cleared his throat shifting in his seat to face me better, "shes so funny for no fucking reason."
i smiled at him for a long moment. noticing his brows furrowed subconsciously whenever we shared silence. his hands rubbed his thighs before he turned his head, looking away from me. i continued to smile at him until i noticed his ears get red, the blush flushing to his neck. he fake coughed and i finally allowed myself to look away from him.
"he was so cute when he got all shy." i thought flipping my phone over in my hand and skipping the song that played in my air pods. broken clocks by sza began playing as i thought "i wonder if he knows how much i actually like him. im not saying we're any means ready to date, but sharing this time with him makes me happy. its the highlight of my day ... maybe i should tell him."
"i really enjoy talking to you." i told him boldly.
i never had a problem with expressing my emotions. it was easy for me. he stared at me for a long moment. the contentment in his eyes vanishing instantly. something i noticed that happened frequently when i ever i commented on enjoying his presences. he bit the inside of his cheek eyeing me for a long moment. he looked internally confused and i kept my smile, holding back any personal questions. i was going to figure him out eventually.
"why did you text me yesterday?" he questioned, his voice a lot less confident then i had expected.
my mouth formed into a small frown before answering him, "i wanted to talk to you. i cant want to talk to you?"
he scrunched his face at me as i restated what i had said in text. he licked his lips and shut his eyes, his eye lids covering his alluring green eyes for a long moment before his lashes fluttered as he re opened them.
"you're such a liar," he muttered quietly. i widened my eyes surprised. he noticed my reaction and lowered his voice again as he continued, "i dont get it. i really dont. why? like can you jus tell me why? like its jus really confusing for me."
my frown grew and i glared at him, accusingly, "im not a liar, zayne. what is it so difficult for you to accept the fact that i WANT to be friends with you?"
"because you dont," he answered quickly, "and you know you dont. its in the back of your head right now, and you should stop wasting your time. i can see right through you."
"you must need some damn glasses if thats what you're seeing," i scoffed at him. his cheeks went a little red once i snapped at him, "stop being so cynical. you're pushing people out for what? why? because i want to be friends with you?"
he looked very vulnerable before eyeing me, "so you actually ... um what to be friends?"
"yes, zayne." i said firmly sending him a small smile.
he looked slightly convinced. the lunch bell rang meaning it was time for third block. i watched him carefully causing him to look away from me. now grabbing his salad container and standing up from his chair. i stood up as well grabbing my phone. he started walking and i hurried my pace to keep up with him. he looked down at me tossing his trash into the media centers bin and pushed open the door, holding it open for me.
i sent him a smile mumbling, "thank you."
he nodded his head slowly before i looped my arm through his again, thinking, "he smells so good." my head rested on his shoulder that felt tense.
he always tensed whenever i got close to him. he was VERY insecure about his worth which frustrated me. "maybe you and i can relate on our strict african parents. how they never let us breathe or have emotion," a small voice in the back of my brain whispered loudly. i paused listening to my thoughts, "once i get him to open up. ill be his person. the person he can and will always have."
his body tensed once we started down an empty hallway, the hallway leading to our class. i slowly pulled my arm out from his and he looked down at me. i smiled up at him slowly walking to my left, my class.
"bye, zayne." i said softly waving my hand. his tongue rested on his top teeth for a brief moment, plumping his lips. his green eyes gazed into mine. i felt my cheeks get red and his soon after.
"bye." he answered quietly and turned into coach gambrews class. i watched his body disappear into the class before walking into mine content with what had happened today. zayne tented to open up then quickly shut and put his walls back up. that behavior reminded me of valeria when her and i first met, so i had no problem experiencing it again.
it was different with him. i wanted to badly to see him happy. i saw what and heard what valeria had went through mentally. i was her person to lean on. now i wanted to be his.
...
authors note: also dont be hard on zaynes character. i used to act like that too. its really hard for someone that doesnt have confidence in their worth to let people in. we have fear that when we let them in and they being to impact our happiness they'll leave like everyone else. when it happens too many times you want to push and avoid anything like from happening. thats why hes so cynical and hostile at times. times when yasmine compliments zayne, because its his insecurities telling him that this wont last and none of it its really real.
