The King of Darkness | ✔️

Chapter Twenty One

When I had finished dinner, Serene had left to attend to her other array of errands before the day was done and dusted. I will be consulting Darian about letting her have time off.

I didn't want to pry on what she had gone through whilst she was away but she deemed the information not worthy of our time. Of course, I had told her it was nonsense - that I always had time for her. But she insisted that we move on.

I had felt tremendous guilt every second of every day since she disappeared and I thought that as soon as she was returned home, that the guilt would subside. I was wrong, it seems to have only worsened.

Every few moments, when she thought I wasn't looking, I saw the pain that resided in her features and it was so evident that I knew she had had a harder time than any of us could imagine. But, when I looked back to face her - that kind smile was rekindled and masking the despair that once remained.

The bath fizzes when I step in, the moonlight casting a placid atmosphere over the bathing room as the candles dance gently.

I can't help but let my mother enter my thoughts again, no matter how hard I try to push her out, I simply cannot. And I'm not sure if I want to.

It took me almost a lifetime to not let myself succumb to the images of my father's body sprawled on my parent's bed. The bed that I would run to when I was a child, when my dreams were haunted by monsters, not corpses of the people I love.

Taking a deep breath, I let the water swallow me - as if it will drown my thoughts.

Though, it only multiplies them. The water hugging me so tightly only reminds me of the bounding waves washing over my head, the pure seize of panic as the surface only seemed to run away from my fingertips.

All I can remember is mindlessly clawing at the water and feeling it slip through my fingers so effortlessly it felt as though I was running them through the air.

I break the surface of the tub, gasping for air and praying to the heavens that it all turns into a distant memory.

My hand clutches my chest as I try to calm my breathing but find that I physically cannot. In a moment of panic, it only worsens. My chest feels like someone is standing atop of it, pressing down so furiously I simply cannot breathe.

I begin looking around the vicinity, trying to find anything to focus on that will take over my mind. Mountains, endless mountains, snow-capped mountains to be precise, candles, lots of bright candles, stars, stars that look like candles in the sky. My mind repeats this until I finally get over whatever just happened.

I attempt to make the rest of my bath hasty - just wanting to get out, not being able to stand being surrounded by this much water. Even a tub full feels like too much.

As soon as I step out of the tub, I wrap the towel around me and quickly leave the room. I make my way to the balcony, finding that it's my new haven. I can finally breathe when the chill air hits my warm body.

I wrap my hands around the railing and drop my head, taking a few moments to myself before looking up at the starlit sky.

"I will make this right," I whisper, looking at how significantly brighter the sky is with stars tonight. "I won't let your death be in vain," I promise to not only my family but to everyone else who had died at the hands of the Fortuna coven.

My eyes brim with tears and at this moment... this moment I declare that I will never let anything break me as much as this has. I will not let myself love as deeply, care as much or even give someone a fraction of my heart. All it causes is pain that I will never be able to comprehend.