Just another straight girl (Y/N)

Chapter 79

Lizzie's POV:
I can hear Y/N talking to someone on the phone crying to someone. All I want is to be there for her but she needs space. I don't think I could get up if I wanted to. I probably shouldn't have enjoyed that as much as I did. Even when she was angry she was hot. God I'm such an idiot. I decide to call the one person who she'd probably accept help from at this time, Tom.
"What did you do?" He asks before I've even said hello.
"How did you know? I haven't said anything yet," I reply confused.
"You only call me when Y/N needs me or you've fucked up. To be calling me this late you fucked up. So again what did you do?" Tom inquires irritated. I explain what happened and you could hear him just sigh on the phone.
"You said she's calling someone who is it?" He queries.
"I don't know but she's crying. I don't know how to help her when she understandably won't talk to me," I cry.
"I'll message her and I'll be over soon. Just so you know you're an idiot," he states before hanging up. Yeah Tom I know.

⚠️TW: Therapy
Y/N's POV:
"Hello is this Y/N?" The woman checks.
"Yes it is."
"I'm Dr Taylor. So what would you like to discuss with me today? Your friend told me a little about your history and sent me over your previous therapy files. Why do you feel after all this time you need to talk to someone?" The Dr inquires.
"I had a fight with my wife and instead of talking it through with her. I just had angry sex with her. That's not how I would usually act or respond to when we have arguments. I hate going to bed angry or on an argument. I feel like somethings wrong. I'm worried I've been living in a bubble of delusional happiness and it's finally burst. I'm so scared I'll go back to being the woman who couldn't get out of bed or shower because she was so depressed. I don't want to lose her," I sob letting all my worries and fears out.
"Ok answer me this would the woman who lay in bed have reached out for help instantly or been proactive in trying to combat these negative thoughts?" Dr Taylor asks.
"No she let it spiral to the point where my best friend wrote me a eulogy," I mumble embarrassed.
"See that's already a difference. What happened exactly that hurt you to the point it triggered you react this way?" I begin to explain exactly what had happened play by play.
"Ok how did it make you feel when she said those things?" She probes.
"Hurt. Devastated even. Especially the thing about Scarlett. It made me question whether she even wanted to be with me. Unheard. It's like I was talking and she wasn't absorbing a single thing," I sigh.
"That's understandable. When do you feel you'll be ready to hear her out?" The Dr queries.
"I hate going to sleep on an argument. I just can't do it. It's not necessarily all going to get resolved this evening but I want this anger gone," I explain.
"Can I be honest? I don't think you need to talk to me. You've got a logical and methodical way of coping with these negative thoughts. You're willing to make amends with your wife as you don't want these emotions that you feel could crumble your progress. That in itself is progress. You're dealing with this in the correct way. Don't panic. The best person to talk to about all this is your wife. If she's noticed a mark change in your mental health then maybe consider starting up therapy again but I'm convinced you're ok Y/N," she assures me.
"Thank you Dr. I appreciate you time," I state ending the phone call.

As soon as it ends there's a knock at the door.
"A little birdy told me you needed me. I brought beers and ice cream. You've already got FIFA so let's cheer you up," Tom explains his presence. I bring him in for a tight hug this is exactly what I needed.
Me to Lizzie: Thank you.
I turn off my phone and sit down on the sofa while Tom sets up everything making himself truly at home as usual. We spend ages talking while we play it was nice to be distracted and have a male perspective sometimes.
"No offence but is it really that deep?" He laughs.
"How do you mean?"
"Ok I don't really see a major problem. Lizzie will apologise and be a more attentive wife. You had incredible angry sex by the fact you had to bring her food. And your therapist said that you're fine," Tom says nonchalant.
"So I should just talk to her?" I check that's what he means.
"Yes. As much as I love hanging out with you I prefer it when you're not sulking," Tom teases.
"Alright then you better go home. Thank you for coming," I state kicking him out.
"I'm coming with you to set tomorrow to see Scarlett I miss her," he informs me.
"Ok I'll pick you up on route," I offer.
"I'll see you then."

Lizzie's POV:
I feel myself start to enjoy the show I'd put on feeling much more relaxed when I hear a quiet knock at the door.
"I can't get up you'll have to come in," I sigh looking at my still shaking legs. Y/N smiles blushing slightly as she walks in.
"Thank you for calling Tom. After I left I called a therapist that was what the crying was about. I just the angry sex when it's not jealous isn't me. And you know I hate sleeping on an argument so I'm here and ready to listen," she informs me sitting next to me on the bed.
"I'm just sorry Y/N. I never meant any of the things I said it was a knee jerk bratty reaction because you gave me too many home truths for me to handle. You know I never wanted you to choose Scarlett right? I mean I'd still be sulking in my PJs trying to scheme and find a way to win you back. I love you so much I really didn't mean that. And you're right I've been an awful wife. I haven't taken you on dates or made the effort I should have in your person and work life. For that I'm so sorry baby. I love you so much and I know how much you love me. I just have been taking that for granted. You deserve to feel supported too. And I promise from now on to support you. I know actions speak louder than words so give me time and I'll prove it," Lizzie apologised profusely crying. I cup her face wiping her tears kissing her gently.
"Just please never stay stuff to hurt me like that again. I love you Lizzie so much that I put myself last. I need to kill myself with work for the next year and a half so that I have a career to come back to. So that I can provide for you like I promised your mum I would when I proposed. That's why I was so upset," I explain.
"Y/N. Our children's futures are set you've made sure of that. You've got their education costs sorted, you're getting our home renovated so there's enough space for all of us. You've spent enough my love. I'll cover bills and we can split day to day costs. Please stop worrying Y/N. You've paid for everything since we've met so let me start taking care of you while you look after our kids," Lizzie pleads kissing me once more.
"Are you sure?" I check.
"I'm sure. You're going to save us so much money in child care and our kids are going to have a wonderful attentive mother like I have a wonderful attentive wife," she assures me. I lift her up carrying her to our room.

Lizzie's POV:
Y/N switches on a bubble bath for my legs to recover then we cuddle while we wait for it to be ready. She starts to cry a little while I stroke her hair.
"What's wrong?" I ask concerned.
"Did I hurt you? Was it too much?" She inquires referring to earlier.
"Not at all. Baby for a punishment I enjoyed that way too much. You know I like it rough," I comfort her. She smiles blushing slightly.
"Ok good I was worried it was too much," she mumbles nervously.
"It wasn't it was hot. Why do you look so worried?"
"I don't think we should have sex for the next few days. I just want it to be about rebuilding our relationship. Sex has never been our issue. Sometimes the sex is too good it becomes a problem in that it overshadows our issues. So I think maybe while we get back to being us we should hold off," She explains.
"I think that's a great idea. Now you need to get some rest Fiege is calling Taylor in to set tomorrow to meet with him to discuss contracts etc," Lizzie informs me.

Lizzie's POV:
"Do you think I've changed? Like in a bad way. Am I dark and twisty like I was when we first start seeing each other?" Y/N inquires nervously.
"No babe. Are you doubting yourself? Talk to me," I encourage her.
"I called the therapist because that's not the way I would usually react to a serious argument. Jealousy definitely but not when I'm hurt. It just didn't feel like a healthy decision. So I started to worry I was that person again. The woman who found it a struggle to shower and do basic day to day tasks. I was lost and I never want to take my anger out on you. My jealousy maybe because I like people to know you're mine. But my hurt I hate it. I worried myself. The therapist said my instant reaction to seek help shows I'm no longer that person. She did say if my loved one noticed a marked change in my mental health I should go back to therapy so what do you think?" She rambles concerned. I cup her face in my hands.
"I hate myself right now for making you doubt yourself. Listen I think it was a pretty normal reaction. You're so much better than you were. I can't remember the last time you had a panic attack. You're mostly open with your feelings and don't think of them as a weakness anymore. You're not that person anymore baby. I promise you," I comfort her making her smile.
"It's not your fault. I'm never fully going to trust myself because I know how to spiral. But with you here to reassure me. Im sure I'll be fine," Y/N states kissing me gently.
"You will be. I know it. Now it's been a long day so I'm ready for a soak then sleep," I sigh tiredly.
"Bath and then bed," she agrees lifting me into the bath sliding in behind me to hold me. I'm ready to be the wife she deserves.