WANT (completed)

ch. 61 | Everything's Going to Be Okay

ASA'S POV

As I follow the nurse down the hallway, I can't help but scratch at the slight stubble that's starting to grow on my jaw. I just shaved this morning, and although I'm used to this, it's suddenly annoying and itchy. Likely because I'm on edge, and I know that, but I can't help but feel even more anxious about seeing Cassandra.

I'm so relieved, but also so terrified to see her. If she doesn't recall what happened, then I'll be the one to explain it to her, which is actually going to tear me apart inside.

I swallow all of my fears as the nurse gestures me into a room. With a few soft steps, knowing that Cassandra is still asleep thanks to the nurse, I step inside the dimly lit room.

"I'll come by when she wakes up. We figured she would feel a lot more relaxed with you here when she got up," she says with a smile before gently closing the curtain in the doorway as she leaves, giving me all the privacy with Cassandra.

As I step towards her on the bed, I see that she is in fact still asleep. I stand there a moment, a few feet from the bed, taking her in. Her hair is a bit tousled, sprawled out around her on the pillow. She's on her back, one arm up by her head, with the older laying right next to her torso. She's covered until right below her chest by a blanket, and she looks so peaceful that I almost want to sneak out of here and just let her be.

But I'm too selfish to do that right now. I want to be selfish for both of us — for me to be able to sit down and hold her, and for her to be able to wake up with someone there. So instead, I step towards her slowly, grabbing the chair that's placed against the wall and pulling it to the edge of the bed before plopping down into it.

I gently reach out, brushing a few stay hairs out of her face and placing a soft kiss to the top of her head. Because she doesn't stir, I crack a tiny smile, being reminded of how deep of a sleeper she is. I bet they could have given Cassandra nothing at all, and once she was out, she would have stayed out until someone managed to wake her up.

"Hey there sleeping beauty," I mutter as I gently pull back, grabbing the hand that's resting at her side. I'm careful not to move her arm though, as she happens to have an IV put in and I know how painful those can be. "You scared the crap out of me."

Cassandra isn't listening, but that's okay. It's more comforting for me to be able to talk than to not talk at all, even if no one is here to hear what I have to say. I kind of like it. I'm not someone who really expresses many of my feelings, apart from with Cassandra.

My finger lingers on the rings on her hand. Her engagement ring along with the wedding band I just added a few days ago. I still can't believe that we got married. It feels too surreal.

Three Days Ago

"Are you sure you want to do this? We can wait, baby. It doesn't matter to me if it's today, or tomorrow, or a year from now. But I want this to be everything you want it to be," I ask for what feels like the hundredth time, but also not enough.

Cassandra looks up at me, smiling bigger than I've seen her smile in these past few weeks as she squeezes my hand that she's holding.

"Yes, Asa. I'm sure of this," she rolls her eyes at me, playfully of course. "Now can you please stop asking? They're going to think that I'm the one forcing you into doing this."

I can't help but laugh at her small joke, so happy to hear her getting back into this. Blake's death hit a lot harder than expected, likely because it was so unexpected to begin with. But that doesn't matter right now. What matters is us. The two of us. Getting married. Doing exactly what we've been wanting to do for a while now. Neither one of us said it, but the moment that I asked her to marry me, I think we both knew that we didn't want to wait.