rock 'n love // alex turner

18th

Lately i speak rarely with Alex, i don't know what's going on but he seems different. I just hope it's about the tour.
Even Caryl and Madison noticed that, i admit i'm a little worry about that. Did I have done something wrong?

"Anne is everything okay with Alex?" asked Caryl
"Actually i don't know. We're distant from each other" i replied
That hurts, say it out loud really hurts.

I spent all of the week at the shop, waiting for an Alex's message or call but nothing, but then on friday, finally i got a message

Alex band guy:
Hey love, tomorrow i'm free. Maybe i can come to London, okay?

I don't know why but it feels weird, i mean obviously i'm really happy to see him. But i have a strange feeling.

Me:
Sure, why don't you come at 5pm?

Alex band guy:
Yes, i'll take the train. See you tomorrow, sweet dreams xx

I'm alone at home until 10pm, Madison is at Oliver's pub and Caryl is helping a kid with homework.

It is 7:40pm and I have no idea where Alex is. I've waited all evening and he didn't showed up, what the fuck was he doing? Why didn't he send me a message? Even Caryl was worried. Then we heard a noise...oh, it was Madison.

"What do you mean he didn't showed up? I'm going to kill him" Madison said

It was raining, Caryl and Madison were in their room and i was in the living room, trying to hold the tears. I'm such an idiot but then someone knocked our door...it was 11pm

"Alex where the fuck were you?" i said angrily
"I'm so sorry Anne, i missed the train" he said
"Well you could sent me a message. I was worried. Why are you acting like this lately?" i asked
"What do you mean? It's you, you're so argumentative. Yeah, you're right i could have texted you but my mobile phone died" he replied

"Oh so now it's my fault? You disappeared" i said
"I didn't say it's your fault Anne" he said
"So just tell me why!" i said
"Anne i don't know why neither. But you know that i really like being with you" he replied
"Actually i'm not sure about that" i said
"What the fuck are you talking about? You really fucked my mind since the first day" he said
"Yeah, unfortunately you don't know how to show it up tho"
"I thought we were good" he said

And then there was silence

"Where were you when i needed you? Why do I always have to be the one there for everyone?" i asked
"Anne i'm sorry, you know that i was busy. Just tell what's going on" he replied
"I'm not saying that you could have called me every hour but at least you could have texted me everyday, just to know how i was."
"Don't put that face i can't stand it" he said rolling his eyes
"What face?" i asked
"Your disappointed face. Stop it. I'm telling you sorry" he said

I was shocked, he didn't even told me why he disappeared
"Wow, you don't even really care" i said

And he completely changed his face and he was trying to say something but i couldn't stand this conversation so i closed the door, i turned around and there was Caryl and Madison.

I suddenly started to cry and they just hugged me. Why i was so stupid?
"He's a fucking idiot" Madison said but i couldn't stop crying.
"No it's me. I'm not good in relationship" i replied
"Anne don't worry, everything will be fine" Caryl said
"No Caryl, i don't think i would see him again" i said

I can't believe of what is happened, he was an angel with me and i know him very well but he also broke my heart acting like that...
This is what i was scared about, i don't want to end my friendship with the boys. I ruined everything...maybe it is all my fault.