EsZan One Shots - Aşk Mantık Intikam

4. Var Mı? (ep8)

Picking up from the end of episode 8, when Ozan asks here why she did all this for a man she says she doesn't love. Honestly the most perfect cliffhanger for one of the best episodes in the show so far. Sadly, I think because we are only at ep 8 and we live in dizi timeframes, I don't think she will admit to too much just yet. She's going to say that she was worried about him since she felt responsible for his condition, falan filan. So here's a little bit of early hope for EsZan in fanfic world.

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"Neden?" Ozan asked. "Why did you do all these things for a man you say you don't love?"

Esra searched her mind for the right thing to say, "Çünkü....," she stammered.

"Çünkü?"

His voice was so filled with hope and yearning that it almost broke her resolve. But she gave herself a mental shake. "Çünkü, I felt responsible. You hurt yourself because of me. I wanted to make sure you were alright. I knew you wouldn't take care of yourself. Your work always comes first for you," she added with just a hint of resentment. "And I was right! You didn't stay in the hospital like they wanted, you are already back at work" She waved around at the professor's house, "doing everything you were doing before as if nothing happened." She looked back at him, her eyes slightly hooded. "That's why I did it. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

The misery on his face cut straight into her soul. His shoulders fell, and he blinked back tears, "I see," he said, his voice filled with sadness and disappointment. "Same as always," his lips twisted in bitterness and he turned away from her. "Get your bag, I'll drop you to the taxi-stand."

Esra hated herself in that moment. In truth, her heart had betrayed her these past few days. The need to care for him was a familiar feeling, but the jealousy, well, that had hit her like a ton of bricks. And that tiny spark that raced through her when their fingers touched, the heat she felt inside her when he stepped into her space....she was not ready for the emotions this new version of Ozan was able to evoke in her. And she wanted to resist it and deny it with all her strength. But she was being unfair to him- again. And she had come to realize he deserved better.

He was waiting for her, his back turned, the defeat he was feeling inside, reflected in his stance.

"Ozan, bekle..," she called walking towards him.

He didn't turn around. "Let's go Esra," he said sharply.

  She grabbed his arm with one hand and cupped his chin with the other, turning his face towards her, "Bana bak"

He blinked away the tears in his eyes, caught unawares by her maneuver. The only time she'd ever seen his cry was when she told him to leave, and she felt that this time she was afflicting the same kind of pain - unwarranted.

"Look," she pulled him towards her unconsciously, trying to drive home the sincerity of her words. It put him in her personal space and she had to tilt her head all the way up to look him in the eye. "I care for you Ozan, I...I never stopped caring for you. I've known you most of my life! You were hurt and I wanted to protect you, take care of you. It's what I do best, right?" she laughed in self-deprecation. She had been that band-aid for her whole family for so long now it was a role that came to her without thought.

"And then Cagla was there, doing the things that I usually do, taking credit for what I did, and I was a little jealous, tamam mı?" she said defiantly.

His shoulders sagged in relief. He was tired of the games, he was tired of the mixed signals, even this tiny admission of her feelings felt like a breakthrough for him. His arms found their way to her waist, drawing her even closer. "Ok," he nodded, his voice reflecting the the relief in his eyes. "No more games, Esra. Tamam mı?"