{steve rogers x reader} {bucky x reader}
y/n was 16 when she was kidnaped by hydra. years later she is found in an hydra base by the avengers.
she is brought back with the avengers and becomes friends with them, she even falls for one of them. all i...
you stared into the room in shock, you killed them, why couldn't you remember. you stood up out of the chair. "are you okay" Tony asked you worried. "I killed them" you said with no emotion showing. "why can't i remember!' you said angry kicking the chair. "y/n calm down" Tony said calmly. "Wanda what exactly did you see?" Tony asked her. "I saw her kill that first man Fury was showing us a picture off" she said. "you looked different tho, like it wasn't really you, maybe that's why you don't remember". "did you see the other men?" Tony asked Wanda. "no, only that one" she said. "so that doesn't mean she killed them all, just this one" Wanda said looking hopeful to you hoping that thought would calm you down. the only thing going thru your mind was 'i killed someone'. "are you okay" Wanda asked looking really worried at you. "I just need some time" you replied. "that's alright take your time, we start training tomorrow" she said hugging you. tony walked up to you and hugged you too. "if you need anything, you know where to find me" he said as he let go off you. you just walked out of the room feeling numb.
you walked into your room. I don't deserve this, you thought to yourself. I don't deserve these nice things and these nice people around me. you were a killer and you deserved to be hurt, that were the only thoughts going thru your mind. you got mad and started throwing stuff through your room, you ripped books in half and threw the chairs trough your room screaming. you calmed down for a while and looked at yourself to the mirror. you didn't see yourself in it, you saw someone you'd hoped you never see again, the weapon hydra made you, the KILLER you actually were. that was who you were, someone who only causes pain and destruction. you couldn't take it anymore and punched the mirror hard, and it broke in pieces.
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you picked up a piece looking at yourself through it. a killer needs to be punished, you thought to yourself as you sliced the piece of mirror over your arm. "that's what you deserve" you said to yourself. "you deserve everything they did to you" you said out loud looking to yourself in the broken mirror. you cut yourself again and again, you screamed in pain as you cut your arms open and cried thinking about what you had done. you sat down on your bed crying. when you then heard the door open.
*steve's pov*
you heard screams coming from y/n's room. you ran up to her room and opened the door. your heart sank as you saw her sitting on her bed, her eyes looked empty yet they were filled with tears and her arms were cut open in her hand the piece of glass full of blood. "y-y/n?" you said tears in your eyes you've never seen her so broken. she looked at you with empty eyes. "what happened?" you asked her walking over to her. "I killed them, I'm a monster" she said with no emotion in her voice. "we need to get your wounds stitched up" you said to her, your heart breaking seeing her like this. "no, I deserve to be punished" she said. for the first time you didn't hear her speak, you heard hydra speaking, how could she think she deserved this. "no one deserves this, it wasn't your fault y/n" you said. she looked up at you, but it was like she wasn't really there. you picked her up and walked her to the lab were Tony and Natasha were talking. their mouths dropped as they saw you walking in with y/n her arms full of blood. "w-what happened" Tony asked swallowing back tears. "who did this" he asked. "I did" y/n said still with no emotion. "Nat can you grab some stuff to clean the wounds" you said to Natasha. "tony can you get the stuff to stich her up" Tony nodded at you tears in his eyes. they did as you said, the room went silent as you all helped clean y/n's wounds. Tony called in Bruce to help stitch her up.
"all done" Bruce said breaking the silence, while he started to clean the tools. "why are you helping me?" y/n said, you could hear a little emotion returning in her voice. "because we all care about you" you replied. you saw a glimmer in her eyes, making them look less empty. "you shouldn't, I'm a monster, I'm a killer" she said tears forming in her eyes. "you're not a monster y/n" you said looking into her eyes as tears rolled down her face . "you are an amazing person y/n, you're so sweet and caring". "no i'm not" she replied crying letting all her emotions out now. you wiped her tears away "listen to me, you were kidnaped, those people were horrible to you and made you do things you would never do yourself. none of this is your fault, you are an amazing and strong woman, don't you dare think you are a monster because you're not. you were just trying to survive in an environment were pain and fear were all you had, you're not responsible for what THEY made you do. your safe now and we all believe in you and care for you" you said giving her a kiss on her forehead and holding her tightly. "were all her for you, just remember that" you said as she cried against your chest until she eventually fell asleep in your arms.
"what are we gonna do" Tony said whispering, not wanting to wake y/n up. "I don't know Tony, but she can't keep hurting herself like this" you said softly. "I think it's best that she's going to talk to a therapist, I don't think we can help her in that way" Tony said and you agreed with him.
"so what's going on with you 2" Tony asked after a few minutes of silence." are you 2 together" he asked. "no, not yet at least, we just went on a date and enjoy each other's company" you said blushing a little. "you're a good man Rogers, take good care of her" Tony said smiling at you. "I will" you answered. Tony left the room, you looked at y/n she looked peaceful now that she was asleep. you slowly picked her up and walked her to her room.
you opened the door to her room and saw it was a mess. everywhere were ripped up books, smashed pieces of furniture and there were sharp pieces of the broken mirror everywhere. she couldn't sleep here, you thought to yourself. you walked her to your room laying her down in your bed. you filled a glass of water for her and laid down some food for her in case she woke up and felt hungry.
you walked outside and sat on the bench. you just let your tears flow down now. you haven't had time to fully process what had happened. you heard the door slam shut and heard someone walking up to you. you quickly dried your tears. "don't worry i've seen you cry before Steve, just let them out" you heard Bucky say as he sat next to you on the bench giving you a hug. "I heard what happened" he said letting go of you. "it was horrible, how can she do that to herself" you said looking at Bucky. "she is used to deal with her problems differently, if one feeling was constant it was pain, it's probably become some sort of escape for her to not deal with her feelings i guess" Bucky said. it was silent for a while. "tony thought it was a good idea to let her talk to a therapist" you said to Bucky. "I think that's a good idea, I can asked my therapist if she has a slot open for her" he said. "yes if you could do that". "of course" he said smiling softly to you.
"this was the first time i heard hydra in her words" you said to Bucky wanting to talk to someone about it "was she like this at hydra?" you asked Bucky almost whispering, knowing he rather not talk about his time at hydra. "I don't know, I mean she was sweet and innocent, I never thought she would be able to kill anyone, but i guess something must have changed when i wasn't there anymore" he answered. "hey buck can i ask you something serious?" you asked him dreading asking this question. "you can asked me anything Steve" he said smiling. "why didn't you get her out of there when you got out". Bucky looked shocked at you "i-i couldn't" Bucky began saying, tears in his eyes. "I did something stupid, I made a stupid deal with someone and i couldn't, I just couldn't" he said struggling to tell you tears streaming down his face. you realized he probably had a good reason and it hurt him too much to tell you right now. you just hugged him tightly "it's okay, she's here now" you said hugging him telling him it was all going to be okay.
