Protect Her

Chapter Thirty Two

Camryn

Instead of hopping in the shower, I just turned the water on as hot as it would go and sat on the bathroom floor as it filled with steam. I was so angry with myself.

Derek was perfect. He was sweet and patient and everything he ever did was to help me. I should appreciate it more, not bite his head off when he tried to get me to talk about my past with Robby. The only problem was I had no interest in talking. I was working through it in my own way, and felt like I was moving on just fine. The only thing dredging up old memories did was make me feel ashamed and embarrassed.

In the depths of my heart, I knew Derek was right. None of it was my fault and I shouldn't feel guilty, but that didn't mean I wanted Derek to know about some of the very worst moments of my life.

I liked who I was with Derek, and that version of me was in jeopardy every time I had to remember the things Robby did to me.

I left Robby, but it was like he was a ghost in my current relationship. He was still finding a way to wiggle into my life and the more I thought about or talked about it, the more I felt it happening.

I would be so happy when Robby was in prison and we could put all of this behind us. I wished I could find the right words to get Derek to understand all of that, but I failed to explain it every time it came up. Instead, I just ran away and hid in the bathroom.

After a while, I came out and realized he and Riley had gone to the store. He left me a sweet note on the counter and I started dinner while they were out. For the last two months, even after knowing Robby knew we were alive and with Derek, I was more at peace than I had ever been. He was in jail, and each day that passed, I grew more and more confident he would stay there.

There had been no other threats towards us, and Derek, Riley, and I had settled into a dream world. We fit so well together; it was hard to imagine our lives without him once all of this was over, and I knew he felt the same way. I may have still been hesitant to admit it out loud, but I was falling head over heels for Derek.

Derek wasn't hesitant at all about telling me. In fact, he said it every single day. It was surreal to hear those words from someone who genuinely meant them, as if they carried more weight or were more significant coming from him. He told Riley every day, too, which she just ate up. She didn't need any convincing. She'd move to a shack in the desert if that meant Derek would stay with us.

It was perfect, and I had even stopped waiting for something to go wrong. I was just enjoying what was happening—at least before the last few days. Derek meant well, but I was going to have to find a way to get him to stop making me talk about it. It was like salt in my wounds, and that felt like the absolute opposite of healing.

"Mooooooom!" Riley called, bursting through the front door with Champ in her arms.

"Hi guys." I smiled.

Derek was following behind her, his hands overflowing with bags of toys, dog food, and treats.

"We got Champ some things." She chirped excitedly.

"I can see that." I laughed. "I could have taken her. I know the dog isn't exactly your thing."

"It was no problem." He smiled, ducking through the packages to give me a quick kiss.

"Did you buy the entire store?" I raised my eyebrows.

"We need options." Derek grinned. It seemed like he was buying in this a little more. "I also called a dog trainer. He's going to come out and get started tomorrow."

"I want to teach him to play dead." Riley chimed in.

"Sounds like Champ is growing on you." I slipped my arm around his waist.