Nightmares

Episode 4.3

And it happened as I presumed.

"No! no! no! no! Stop it! Stop it! Don't touch me!" He woke up screaming and fell from the couch, "Don't touch me, d-don't," he sat in a corner hiding his face in his knees, he was crying so hard, "Pl-please, I'm begging you, d-don't tou-touch me. It's so cold. It hurts." 

I've seen him having nightmares before, but he was never this scared in any of them. I was lying beside him when he started screaming. I was jolted awake immediately. Before I could do something, he ran away in a corner. I may not sound like it but I'm panicking inside, my heart's beating really louder seeing him like this, even I got scared. Just what did he see this time?

I crouch down in front of him, his body is trembling. I don't dare touch him considering how he was screaming not to touch him. Though I want to squeeze him in my arms right now, it would make him more frightened. After a moment, I try to call his name, "Joshua?" I said so softly. He didn't answer. "Baby?" 

He lifted his face, wet with tears. I reached out my hand. "It's me," I said, he just looked at me. "I'm warm. Remember?" After hearing this he took my hand and I gave it a little squeeze. "Come to me," 

He hesitated, "I won't harm you," I said, he moved slowly, sniffling. I took his other hand. "Yes, come," I tried to look him into the eyes. He crossed our small distance and wrapped his arms around my neck. He burst into sobs when I held him. "Shh, nothing happened, everything's all right," I sat with my back against the wall, hugging him. I started rubbing and patting his back.

 He kept sobbing constantly. I don't know how to soothe him tonight, I've never seen him weeping this much. Hearing his snivels is also making me want to cry. My tears are almost welled up, just waiting to escape my eyes. I frown my brows intensely and bite my lower lip, trying to hold back. It's aching. My heart. It's aching really bad. I'm feeling like it would break.

WHY? JUST GODDAMN WHY? Why is this all happening to him? He's just a small lovely boy, so innocent, so sweet. What has he ever done to anyone to deserve this? How do I help him? I don't know. I don't know. I just don't. What do I do? I'm feeling so helpless.

A tear rolled down my cheek. I instantly wiped it. I have to be strong for him. Show him that I'm right here. Hold him in arms that I'm warm. And not cold. "It's okay, baby, I'm here," I was saying but couldn't even hear myself. I placed my hand on his head and kept him close to my chest, he held onto my shirt. He didn't stop crying yet, not even slowed down. I wonder what scared him this much. Why am I thinking he dreamt of a clown?

"Look at me," I said. He's having sobbing spasms. I know how that feels, so distressing when you want to stop but you can't. And you just cry and cry and cry more.

"I...I-I'm-" his voice is stuttering. 

"It's all right," I said touching his cheek and rested my forehead against his. "It's all right. You're okay. We're okay. No one's going to hurt you now,"

I held his face in my hands, "Just...just look at me, and breathe, okay?" He nodded. "One, two, three. Breathe in," He did an inhale with me, though he was still sobbing in between. "One, two, three. Breathe out," I did the maneuver until I felt that he has relaxed a bit. He's breathing quite evenly now.

 "Are you feeling okay?" I asked

"Take me from here," he mumbled, his eyes puffy and damp.

"Wha- um, I'm really sorry, baby," I said, "We can't go anywhere right now. It's past midnight and-"

"Please," he looked into my eyes "I want to go somewhere else for a while,"

"Well, uh, how about we go for a walk outside?" I ask

"Ok," he said

"Shall we go to the bathroom first? To clean you up?" 

I washed his face and made him drink a glass of water. I put on something warm on him considering how it rained today. It's quite chilly as I expected, but the sky has cleared after a good rain, though the road is still wet. Small puddles of water here and there. Thank goodness the street lights aren't damaged. We walk hand in hand. Suddenly my phone does a ping. A message. I take it out to check,

Crap! It's tomorrow?

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