Easing Heimweh (Heim, #1) ✓

22: Meeting

This dinner date was bound to be a disaster in a hundred ways and more.

"I'm glad you came," Selena began upon my arrival. She pulled my chair for me, and I caught sight of her nails painted in bloody red. Typical.

I made myself comfortable on the chair. "I'm not."

"You wound me deeply, darling."

Darling.

Darling.

Darling.

"Don't call me that."

An amused smirk played on Selena's lips. "What, scared you'll fancy me again?"

"It's best if you don't flatter yourself with the delusion, Kane. We're long over."

I wish I could say that I was long over with being affected by her words, but I would only be a fraud. Selena Kane infuriated me, tugged at everything in my system that triggered my years-long annoyance with her presence. It was the reason behind our nasty breakup, but of course we would never speak of it.

"I know that." She played with her fork, a mannerism I'd taken note of back then. It meant she was relaxed, satisfied that she was getting a reaction from me. "It's a shame, honestly. We were perfect together. The public liked our relationship."

"It's all about publicity to you, isn't it?" I'd asked in that tone she hated. The one full of disdain and disgust. She couldn't deal well with anyone talking to her like this, so I wasn't surprised one bit when her expression turned sour, nor did I regret what I said. "You never really loved me."

"Oh, Eva..." Selena chuckled bitterly as she put the fork down, and it clinked against the ceramic plate filled with untouched steak. "People like us have the luxury of getting everything we want but love and money. What makes you think you're an exception?"

My fists clenched tight underneath the table. "I did not say that."

"There's no point in desiring love in our world," she said, like her words earlier weren't enough to rub salt to the wound. "Now, shall we enjoy a bottle of Stonyridge Larose? I picked it myself during my trip to New Zealand last week."

"No," I immediately shot back. "No wine."

Selena threw me a stare as if I just said a very bad joke and was proud of it. "You never said no to wine before. Do you not like the brand?"

"I don't like the person offering it."

She heaved a sigh, though it sounded more like a suppressed laugh than anything. "You're still angry at me." It wasn't a question. Selena was an intelligent woman well respected by her peers, but even a fifth grader would know the obvious truth I never cared to hide.

"I just think meeting you again is a waste of time," I admitted, pushing my wine glass away when she offered it. So insistent, it was getting on my nerves. "We both know what we had was a disaster, Selena."

"And I'm willing to fix what's broken." She reached for my hand, and I didn't pull away. The reason? I had no idea. Maybe I was so blinded by rage that I couldn't think straight anymore. "But you don't seem too willing to do the same. Is there someone else?"

That snapped me back to the present. "What?"

"Ah, so there is." She smirked as she poured herself a glass of the larose. "Someone from Royal Allure? The captain, perhaps?"

"Stop it."

"I know you think I'm stupid for thinking of showing up when you've just gotten your life back together, but trust me, darling, I'm not," she said, almost singsonged, putting so much emphasis on the damn endearment. "Connections matter. People talk. I saw the headlines last year, and the pictures they stole of you two making a love story of your own in Italy. He attended The Captain's Ball when I'd never seen that man step foot to any party before."

"We weren't togeth—"

"Oh, don't pull the public statement card on me. It won't work," she interjected. "You denied your relationship with him because Ellis ordered you to, but I bet you cried over that man for eternity."

"I said stop it, Kane. You don't know anything about me," I seethed, my composure long gone. "Not anymore."

She didn't respond right away. Squinting her eyes, Selena then chuckled the way she did when she'd watch a stupidly funny cartoon. "Is he the reason why you're so desperate for love? Your story is long over, Eva. That's why you're here, being forced by your father to sit and eat dinner with me. Aelius Vitali left you."

I slammed my hands on the table so hard my wineglass fell to the floor and shattered. "You dare say his name!"

"You dare make a scene," she spat back. "Sit down."

"No." I snatched my bag from the chair and threw a glare at the woman. "This conversation is a waste of my time."

"Better wipe your tears before going out, darling," she teased, still relaxed in her seat, still smiling at my demise. "Or the journalists will have a field day."

"They can buy the damn field with my money for all I care," I said as I exited the restaurant. I made no effort in hiding my face in front of the cameras waiting at the entrance, nor did I answer any of the questions thrown at me in incoherent fashion. No, I just wanted to get out of here.

I craved to breathe.

Cali sped through the traffic when she heard me sobbing on our phone call. She had her car messily parked on the side of the road in ten minutes, the windows rolling down and her face appearing with a visible hint of concern. She'd just gotten back from her evening flight, yet she had no hesitation in coming to my rescue.

"What the actual hell was Tito thinking?" she muttered under her breath on the way to our manor. "You don't tell him a thing about your dating life, but it's not like your breakup with Selena wasn't publicized. Gosh."

"S-She..." I stammered, "she knows about my past with Aelius."

"But you released a statement denying the—ah, shit. Her connections." Cali massaged her temples as she caught my eyes through the rearview mirror. "You miss him?"

Gods. I wished the answer was no. I wished I could say with full confidence and honesty that I had let go of the past. That I'd moved forward from the pain inflicted by the moments of bliss that easily fleeted away from my grasp because he suddenly just...left. And I was alone again. I was alone for a full year.

And I hadn't felt free since I last saw his face.

"I do," I whispered, but the action alone seemed to have drained the rest of my strength. "So much."

"Do you want to see him?"

"I don't know." I heaved a shaky sigh, collecting my thoughts as best I could, but everything was still hazy. Memories from last year were so vivid and vague at the same time. "I don't know," I repeated.

"I can turn this car around anytime. Just say so," Cali said. "I'll bring you to the airport. We can book a flight to the Philippines."

The offer was tempting that I'd almost said yes right away, but I knew that it would do me no good. My life was in enough disarray as it was. I couldn't rope my best friend into it any further.

"Take me to the manor first," I said, leaning on the open window to breathe in the evening air.

Cali lowered the windows with the controls on her door. "What's your plan, Captain?"

My eyes fluttered shut, the image of Aelius flooding my mind, and I was afraid I would beg for it to stay, because he didn't.

"I figured it's time for another meeting with Dad."