Starting Over

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Serena saw Molly and Melvin waiting for her at the parking lot. Molly cornered her when Melvin turned to get in the car.


"I saw Darien leaving with a beautiful dark-haired woman."


"That's Rei Farley." She tried to smile.


"Are you... you don't mind?"


She shook her head. She was too upset to cry. So, they are together.


Melvin instructed them to sit in the back and Molly was grateful for her husband's sensitivity.


"He... he was going to marry her but... he had to marry me," she added in soft tones.


"Oh, Serena, do you really believe that?"


"I have to."


"You still love him, don't you?"


"I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just feeling guilty. I wished he didn't marry me that he didn't sacrifice his own happiness because of that damned score between my father and his. Oh, Molly..." She put her face in her hands.


"Don't you think... was there never a chance for a reconciliation? He refused to give you a divorce, after all."


"It was part of the bargain. A divorce after a year of marriage would have aroused speculations that it was business propaganda. It would project a bad image for Discs, Ltd. I haven't thanked him for that consideration yet."


"But the company is no longer owned by your father. Why not severe all ties with you?"


Serena's tears raced down her cheeks. "I'm so stupid!"


"What do you mean?"


"This was my chance to let him be happy and I ruined it by telling him that my father could get the company back if I married Alain." 


She had told Molly about Alain's offer. He was willing to give Samuel a clean break, even a position in the directorship; but she refused. She didn't know if Sammy was aware of it. Or if he hated her for turning down Alain's offer. But agreeing to such generosity would make her feel indebted to Ledger. Not that it would change the way she felt toward him. She was only too wary of how a man would react to being treated coldly civil was the only thing she could be when around him after doing 'everything' for her. He was kind, yes, but she can never be sure when that kindness would snap. And she'd never risk herself that way, even if her heart was secure.


"You didn't!" Molly was appalled.


"I made him think that I would give myself to Alain in exchange for a position for my father. He was furious."


"Naturally," Molly conceded, sounding disappointed with her.


"I shouldn't have put him through it. You know I'd never marry Alain even if I was free to do so. Darien vowed that he wouldn't give me a divorce, now more than ever, if only to ascertain that I couldn't be free to accept Alain's offer. Even if it meant being tied to me forever."


"Oh, Reena, how could you do this? I thought you wanted to forget about it all."


"I was angry," was her futile excuse. And very much hurt.


"Could you dismiss his reaction as a dog in the manger attitude? Reena, he must love you to act like that."


"Five years ago I would have believed you. I was so blinded by my love for him that I couldn't think straight. I had no idea how hopeless our relationship was from the beginning?"


"Are you serious?"


"He never loved me, Molly," she admitted, turning to the window. Her azure gaze seemed glazed with fresh tears. She lowered her voice further. Molly's clear green eyes were sympathetic in their disbelief. "Oh, he wanted me all right... but I don't... it's hard to sustain a relationship based solely on desire. When even that paled, he said that I should settle for separation as he is not prepared to give me a divorce. Whatever his reasons, I'm sure it's not about love."

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