꧁𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯꧂

your so sweet

Kageyama POV

It's now the weekend I didn't even bother to go to school yesterday why should I
I fucked everything up

I wanted to see Hinata and apologize for what I did
but I know that I'm the last person he wants to see
I don't even deserve to breathe
Why did I do that I thought it was a good decision at first why am I saying good decision when is it ever a good decision to hit somebody I'm disgraceful

when I got home my mother asked why I had a bunch of bruises on my face I told her I just tripped and fell I knew she didn't believe it but she just left it at that and didn't ask me any more questions

I want to tell kindaichi about what happened but I know he'll tell kunimi and then they'll both yell at me honestly I do deserve to be yelled at
I know I am suspended from the team for a couple of weeks not too long though since we have an upcoming tournament but I don't want to tell kindaichi because if I do he'll hate me I know that he's kind of on edge because of the way I've been acting recently and how childish I've been and last thing I wanna do is make him hate me

Wait a minute why am I so concerned about what kindaichi thinks of me I should be worried about Hinata I mean I almost hit the guy I really am terrible he almost got hurt because of me and Yamaguchi did get hurt because of me he's in the hospital for crying out loud
how did I do this to myself I just want to apologize and make everything right again but I know nothings going to be OK again I know that I royally fucked up how am I supposed to face Hinata again

What if we were alone what would I have done to him down to think that I'm such a fucking monster I need to talk to him I need to tell him I'm sorry and I need to get a therapist or some shit
I need to go to anger management classes or some fucking thing like that I need to fix this I want to make things work between me and Hinata but honestly, I doubt that he still loves me

I begin to think of all the friendships that I just fucked up I was finally getting along on the team I was finally feeling like I was a part of the team I was finally feeling happy like I was excepted and I just had to fuck it up

all of my friendships with everybody from the team down the drain because I couldn't shut my fucking mouth because I couldn't help it because I couldn't keep my damn temper in check

All of a sudden I hear my phone vibrate somebody's calling me Why would anybody call me after what I did but he's in the hospital because of me who would want to speak to me

I check the phone and see that's it's kindaichi calling me

Did he hear what happened again know if he did hear what happened he would come storming into my house and beating me on the floor

I pick up the phone and put it on speaker it's such a hassle to keep the phone by my ear

"Hey Kageyama you want to hang out today"
"No, I'm ok"
"Are you ok what's wrong"
"Yup I'm fine I'm just reflecting"
"On what"
"Nothing important"
"Liar... Listen I'll come over to your house later just stay there tell me all about it tell me what's wrong OK"
"Ok just promise me that you won't hate me"
"What makes you say that I could never hate you... OK well I'll be at your house in 25 minutes talk to you later"
"K bye"

I hanged up the phone and stared at my ceiling again my bedroom ceiling must be bored right looking at a pitiful human being like me I mean I'm always staring at it all the time
I have to get dressed kindaichi is coming over soon

I decided to go to the restroom to take a shower I need to take a shower I couldn't yesterday because I didn't leave my bed whatsoever that day except for the occasional going to the restroom going to get food and stuff just essentials