"Lady Aerin, perhaps you should rest for a moment, you are suffering from a great loss and-" Aragirn started as Aerin looked around for Haldir. "How?" Aerin's voice was firmer, more desperate, and the half-man sighed, closing his eyes, in a resigned manner. They had just won the war there was no reason for her to be suffering a 'great' loss. Then it hit her. Her body froze.
"He fought to the very last moment," Aragorn said quietly. Oh, the stars. Aerin squeezed her eyes shut, as if she could take back the words. "He died with your name on his lips." And though Aerin knew he was waiting for her in the Undying Lands of Valinor, she could not help the cry that left her as she sank to the ground. Aragorn caught her, a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It is because of him that we won this battle today."
"NO!" Aerin screamed and suddenly everyone around them turned to face her. " NO!" She whispered shaking her head furiously. Aragorn nodded. Eyes turned to them. "NO! NO!" Aerin screamed as she sunk to the ground again with tears. Legolas turned as he saw her drop to her knees. "No.." She cried to herself and the half-elf lowered himself so he too was kneeling on the ground beside his friend. "He's stronger than that.. h-he can't.. he c-can't be dead... he promised me.." Tears streamed from her cheeks. "He promised me.. it would be okay.." She repeated. "Tell.. tell me this is just a joke.. please.. tell me this is.. this is a joke.." Aerin pleaded over and over again as tears streamed down her cheeks. Aragorn wiped the tears from his friends face and they looked into each others eyes.
They were not words Aerin cared to hear. She just cared to hear that he was alive, well, sitting in the bedroom in their home in Rivendell, ready with a brush for their daughter's hair and a story for their son – still an infant in Elven standards. Ready to shove her in and laugh as she pulled him in with her. Ready for him to whisper her name as he would return from battle or his duties on the guard, holding her close with as much tenderness and love he could physically carry. And ready for him to listen to her newest song on the harp or for her to watch as he would craft arrows for her bow, showing them to her for approval.
Well that's what she imagined the future to be like. "Tell me how to be in this world. Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt." Aerin cried as she looked up at her friend. But the despair lingered, holding Aerin and not letting go, no matter how much she wished it would. "I will ride with you to Lorien, if you wish. He was a good elf, a brave man, and someone I was honoured to call a friend," Aragorn said quietly. "And it is a sad day that he has fallen-" Aerin shook her head. She frantically wiped the tears from her cheeks. "NO!" She shouted as she tried to stand up, her hands now on her head. "No," she whispered this time. "No, our battle is not yet done." Aragorn helped Aerin properly to her feet, his arm holding her own to steady her. Aerin wished nothing more than for Haldir to step down from the battlements, and to hold her close. "I will not leave when there is more yet to be fought-" Aerin nodded after a moment, but had one request. "I need to see him-" Aragorn froze and then looked into her eyes. "Aerin, it is best you do not-" Aerin met his gaze, and Aragorn sighed, knowing how persistent she could be when she wanted. "He's at the top of the stairs. They will begin moving the bodies soon." Aerin shuffled in the direction, but Aragorn did not let go of her arm. "I must do this alone, my friend. You meant... a great deal to Haldir. He considered you a good friend... I know that."
"And I him." Aerin just nodded, and took a deep breath, hoping to find some strength still buried within her. And Aerin continued quietly up the stairs, her heart pounding in dread for the moment her beloved appeared. She could not bear it. But she had to.
...
Helm's Deep was saved. The Kingdom of Rohan - the people of Rohan - were saved. Through some inexplicable combination of luck and valor, they had lived to see another sunset. Wandering the halls of the Keep, Èowyn felt the weariness in her bones. And the peace in her heart. Her brother, Èomer, had returned from his unjust exile, in time to save them. Her King was returned to his self.
She paused at a crossway to listen. After the horrors of the night before and the tension of this day, it seemed everyone was settled. Her job had been the settling. Finding food and bedding and enough places to sleep for hundreds of exhausted men and soldiers and Elves. Joined by the force of women grateful to be alive and have some menfolk left, she'd organised, diplomacy and care until at last everyone had food in their belly and a blanket to share, if not one to themselves.
Theoden had decreed they would stay here. Parties would be sent to gather food and supplies from the fields, while others repaired the damage done to Helm's Deep, but they would all be safer here for the rest of this war. A party was set for the next night - to comommorate the surviors and the dead. "Eventide, Master Dwarf," she said as evenly as she could. "Are you and your companion settled for the night? Do you have everything you need?" She looked over his head. It was a small room, originally intended as servant's quarters for the master room beside it. One of the two small beds was mussed, but the other was neatly made. The Elf was nowhere to be seen. "Is Aer-" she stumbled over the name, "- Aerin well?"
"Well she is and well she would stay, if you don't go disturbin' her." The dwarf sounded grumpier than being woken accounted for. Confused, she followed his glance toward the connecting door. "Oh! Are she and Lord Aragorn here? I can fetch them something to drink, perhaps food. I thought all would be asleep this late into the night." The Dwarf shook his head. It seemed he was impatient with her. She moved to knock, but the sound of a soft voice stopped her. It was low and sweet and murmuring in Elvish. And it wasn't Aerin's. She'd heard her speak the language, conversing with her friends. She'd learned that Aragorn had grown up among the elves and Aerin was an elf of Rivendell. It wasn't odd that was the tongue they used now. Then she heard her own language, still in the jewelled voice of the Elf.
"We have put that behind us, Aerin. The rest lies ahead of us. Tonight we have only this time. And this." The elf spoke harshly. "I cannot put it aside so easily, Aragorn. He died, Aragorn. The person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The one I wanted to have children with." How tenderly she said that name. Èowyn shivered at the sound of it. Her mind, unbidden, offered a memory of the day before. Èowyn, still holding onto the cleanly washed clothes, quickly moved down the hall before her friend knew she was eavesdropping. In the hall, when Aerin returned. tension was evident on her face.
"First loves are the hardest to lose," Gimli spoke as gently as Aerin had. "And you have lost too much these days." Aerin interrupted in tears. "He came because of me. If I had not been here - Gimli, Haldir died because of me!" Deep sadness and real guilt. Èowyn was startled to realise she was staring straight at them. The Dawrf would be cross if he found her so. But this conversation, this private moment, was too beguiling for her to abandon. "The choice you made for Haldir does not apply here." Aragorn said again. Sounding firm and tender. "I am not a young girl caught in the dream of romance."
"Aragorn..." a sigh. She sounded...sad. "Grief will not bow my back, Aragorn. Only the lack of a life well lived."
YOU ARE READING
to love someone else
Fanfiction''My heart doesn't matter, does it? Even if it is true, and he feels something for me too, it is still doomed to fail, isn't it? Elves can only love once. I am doomed to die of heartbreak, it's my fate as I know Haldir was the one... I'd never want...
