to love someone else

Chapter 14: conversations

 Boromir started behaving very strangely. Aerin knew it was because of the Ring, for every time Frodo was near him, Boromir would go into a terrible mood, and he'd become harsh and mean. She was smart enough to put two and two together, and she tried not to let it hurt her for she knew where the bad energy was coming from. Aerin could see that Aragorn and Legolas knew too, so they didn't pay it much heed.

Once he made a harsh remark about a woman having no place there among them and how Aerin should've stayed in Rivendell and how she was going to be the doom of the entire quest. When he was done speaking, Aerin felt heartache, and he looked surprised by his own words, and then he apologised with honesty and pain and Aerin knew it was the Ring. She knew it, yet it still hurt. So she tried to spend less time with him while he was on the edge of his nerves. He seemed to get along best with Merry and Pippin. Their presence soothed him and made him forget things he wished to forget, and he taught the little hobbits quite a bit about swords while there.

It was a beautiful day and the rosy fingers of the setting sun dragged itself across the forest floor. Aragorn and Aerin sat, enjoying the comfort of each other's company. The hobbits were scattered about somewhere, and Aerin was glad that they had restored their cheerfulness a little bit. Gimli was taking a nap, as usual. Legolas had gone off with his kinsmen somewhere, and Boromir was the only one that remained, sitting by himself against a tree in the distance. Aerin wanted to go and ask him what it was, to talk to him, but decided it was best not to. He kept entirely to himself. ''You haven't spoken much to him as of late,'' Aragorn said to Aerin, noticing her gaze. ''No, I haven't.''

''Maybe you should, you two were always the closest at the start of the quest. You were like childhood best friends.'' he said. ''And what would I tell him?'' Aerin asked, feeling a pang so suddenly in her chest. ''What would he tell me? The Ring is driving him mad and I will not suffer for it.'' Aerin  did not want to talk about it any longer, so she fell back into silence once more, and Aragorn didn't want to push the subject further. She fidgeted with the edge of her dress's right sleeve restlessly instead. ''You're nervous,'' Aragorn said, ''Far be it from me to lead you onto an unhealthy habit, but this pipe does wonders for the mind.'' Aerin couldn't help but laugh lightly. ''No, thank you,'' she said, shaking her head and smiling. ''That Dwarf has a good head on his shoulders,'' Aerin remarked after a short silence, ''But a very sleepy one indeed.'' Aragorn looked upon Gimli's sleeping, snoring form and smiled widely, his pipe between his teeth. He nodded his head. ''Indeed,'' he agreed, ''That is one good Dwarf. I'm thankful that he is here with us.''

''Me too,'' Aerin said, and she meant it.

That evening was one of the most pleasant ones Aerin shared with the Fellowship, and at that moment she did not know if she'd have another one such as that before the end, so she cherished every moment of it. Sitting around the fire, all the jokes, the laughter, the Elvish wine and delicious food. Even Frodo laughed lightheartedly, and it made her happier than anything. It gave her hope too. Boromir was the only one a bit quiet and withdrawn.

Gimli told them of his first love, and how crazy he was about her as a young lad, and he told us of his many mishaps and embarrassments from that time and we laughed, each sharing a bit of something from our own lives too. Frodo teased Sam about a certain Rosie, and he blushed like a child. They all teased each other, yet those of them who knew were smart enough not to ask Aragorn anything about Arwen. Aerin knew her sister was to travel west to Valinor, but she knew she wouldn't.  Her sisters love for Aragorn was too strong.

Aerin did not wish to pry, and she did not want anyone to pry, for she knew it was painful for Aragorn, and she saw him many times touching the Evenstar and whispering something to himself in the middle of the night when he thought no one else was awake. As she too, didn't want her only sister to leave Middle Earth for good and eave her behind. ''And you, lass,'' Gimli asked Pippin, ''Have you ever loved? A certain lady?'' Pippin blushed and looked at Aerin as he didn't know what to say. ''Loved?'' Pippin grinned, ''Maybe, I don't know. I'm not sure I know real love yet, Gimli.''

''Of course you don't, you were practically born yesterday,'' he waved off. ''Heeey!'' Pippin chuckled, ''I did like a girl  when I was very young, but she wasn't my... anything, for we were just children. I did not have much time for girls in my life. But... I did have one.'' Aerin smiled. ''Really?'' Gimli asked in surprise, and Aerin saw that everyone was equally shocked. ''As I said, I never had much time for such matters, but it just sort of happened. Lasted months actually. But not more than a year.''

''What happened?'' Aerin questioned, edging her way closer to sit next to Pippin. "She fell in love with another Hobbit." Pippin replied sadly. "I'm sure you'll find another one, she wasn't the right one then.." Aerin whispered into the little hobbit's ear. ''What about you, Legolas?'' Merry asked. ''I have never loved like that,'' he explained with a smile, ''But just like Pippin I did have a childhood sweetheart.'' Aerin tried to imagine him an Elfling sweet on some beautiful Elven girl. It was odd, and when she thought that it had happened ages ago, it seemed even more odd. When she snapped out of his thoughts he had stopped talking and she had missed what he had said about that elleth.

Everyone slept peacefully that night, and Aerin stayed awake for a while, thinking, and enjoying her solitude. For the first time ever, she actually thought about a possible future. It was a new concept for her, to look that far ahead, and it was interesting to imagine, though very dangerous.