to love someone else

Chapter 30: hugs

As she was returning from the kitchen quarters, Aerin saw Legolas walking in her direction. They were alone in the hallway. There was no escaping now. There greetings were now awkward, but he was still kind, and his smile gentle, and she hated how beautiful he was. ''We haven't spoken much these days,'' he stated. ''Have you missed me, Master Elf?'' Aerin joked, trying to conceal what caused her to avoid him, pretending everything was just fine.

''A bit. The absence of a beautiful smart elleth was felt. I've spent days surrounded by Men and a Dwarf, so that alone would answer your question.'' Aerin laughed, despite it all. ''Well, I've missed you too, mellon nin.''

''Oh, hardly,'' he teased, ''Éomer seems to have kept you company at all times.''

''Are you teasing me, hîr vuin (my Lord)?'' Aerin asked, pretending to be offended. ''Merely observing, hiril vuin (my Lady).''

''As you always do.''

''I am not wrong, am I?''

''No, you are not,'' Aerin smiled in defeat, ''Éomer is a good friend and a kind man.''

''A kind man who has given you his heart completely, it seems. Or have you not noticed?''

''And how could you have possibly noticed that?'' I asked, ''If it even were the case.''

''I've been living for three thousand years, mellon nin, I know the symptoms in Men.''

''And yet you're completely oblivious to the symptoms in women,'' Aerin blurted out, before she added, ''Pretty Rohan maidens seem to flock to you like birds.''

''Eh, sweet and foolish girls with sweet and foolish inquiries,'' he shrugged and smiled kindly. ''Some of them don't seem so foolish,'' Aerin teased. ''Either way, I have no interest in either of them.''

''And I have no interest in Éomer, I have a boyfriend remember.'' Aerin explained. ''He seems like a good man,'' he said, completely serious now, ''I believe you two would make quite a pair.''

And that hurt. I did not understand why at the time, but it hurt like a Morgul blade. "And me and Haldir don't?" She questioned waiting for the elf's reply. "I haven't seen you two together enough to judge." Legolas responded. '' Anyway since when is this the topic of our discussion?'' Aerin tried to keep the atmosphere of the harmless banter, ''I am not here to find a spouse. I am here to fight a war.'' He shrugged with a smile. ''I am only glad you're speaking to me about anything.'' ''I am sorry,'' Aerin said honestly. ''If I have done something wrong-''

''You have done nothing wrong, Legolas,'' Aerin stopped him, ''It is me who was foolish. I simply had some of my own matters on my mind, and I was so consumed by them that I cast you aside. But I have settled it now. I will cope with it my own way. You are my friend, and very dear to me, and I am sorry. Goheno nin. (Forgive me.)'' Aerin spoke honestly. Whatever it was, she had to deal with it herself, on the inside. She didn't want to let it jeopardise their friendship and the Fellowship. He nodded, and smiled, and Aerin wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. She felt his gentle but strong arms snake around her waist. She breathed him in, absorbed the warmth of his body; she had missed him.

''I don't know how it happened over the course of a few months,'' he said, loosing up the tight hold and kissing Aerin's head gently. There seemed to be a whirlwind raging on in the pit of her stomach. ''But I have grown to care quicker than ever in the long years of my life. I don't quite understand it, except that I feel joy when you're with me, and longing when we're apart.'' That was Legolas - the purest of beings Aerin had ever met. He seemed to me almost too good for their cruel world.

After an hour or so after that, the ill news came.