"Letter for you!"
Not exactly an attention getter, but honestly, any given phrase can draw attention when someone sprints through a steel wall. It was punctuated by a creaking and a loud boom, and the quiet weeping of Dr. Gecko in the corner.
"WHY WOULD YOU DESTROY THE WALL AGAIN? WE FIXED THE DOOR FOR YOU!" Ivan screamed.
"It's... I... He was all floppy and he knew who I was and he knew what you were!" I responded.
Ivan attempted to snag the letter out of my hand. I remembered to let go, and he took it.
"I had one year of school that I only sometimes attended. Can someone read this for me?" Ivan asked.
Crash and Redd looked at each other awkwardly. Clement took the letter.
"What? I have a master's degree in linguistics. I am French, that does not mean I live in an isolated bubble." He replied. "Hey old friend." He read. "I'm pretty sure you were on that limo ride, right? I knew you could change your appearance, but I didn't know you could change so much! Your height was different!"
Ivan's smile got bigger. He was panicking a little.
"I'm working as a car mechanic with Situ, and it's been 10 years, but it would be nice to meet and catch up. Email me, we can go bowling and catch up!
Sincerely, Lucas.
It's an old email address."
Ivan snagged the paper and stared at it for a second.
"You sure it says that?" He asked.
"No. As it turns out, my incredibly prestigious University of Paris studies were worthless and I should have just stayed at home in Cannes watching youtube videos." Clement snapped back. "Yes. I can read your basic English!"
Ivan resumed quietly staring at the letter.
"...But are you sure though?"
"YOU SIMPLETON! OF COURSE I AM SURE!" Clement fumed.
Ivan's smile grew very wide. Rows of sharp teeth made themselves apparent.
"Then this means war." He proclaimed.
"Didn't he... invite you to bowling?" I asked.
"That he did. That he did. He had no regard for my or your relationship with the law, because Flare has become something foul... something disgusting. He has become... a civilian!" Ivan declared.
Nobody really reacted.
"I don't think you understand. We are facing a hero shortage, and one of the best and brightest, Galactic Mask's own protégée, has decided to retire the cowl. We cannot, no, we will not let this slide!"
"Actually, that sounds kind of good." Crash replied from the back.
"If you think being unthreatening is good. What's next? We stage a crime and we are met with normal police? What are they going to do? Shoot their little pistols at a giant rust monster? This is a crisis! If we lose heroes, we lose credibility."
Nobody reacted.
"And if you don't do what I say, I'm going to mist you into doing what I want anyways." Ivan concluded. "Now clap."
Everyone but Hush clapped halfheartedly.
"So what's the plan?" Ivan asked himself. "Glad you asked. I am going to that bowling alley. I am going to take it over and make it mine. The bored teenagers and drunk middle aged parties will be our hostages, and the only one who can stop us is Flare! We will use our forces to deter all other heroes!"
"You want us to fight every other superhero that tries to enter?" Hush asked.
"It's going to be a tough operation, but I believe we can do it. Gecko, Hush, Clement, I need you to help me plan. Everyone else, start training. This is the big one."
Hush gently scratched Mr. Hide on the nose, and Dr. Gecko crawled onto her shoulder. The planning committee left for a private room, and I was left outside with the rest. Sonya approached me. It was very apparent that she wasn't suddenly a trusted member of the league. All eyes fixated on her.
"Don't let anyone but Flare past you." She said, then walked away.
I had literally no idea who Flare was.
YOU ARE READING
League of Do Gooders, Ne'er do wells, and those of Evil Intent
HumorThe sequel to the previous book, but starring all the ugly people from the original! Such an interesting twist! Join June Why as she learns the difference between doors and walls.
