The Razor's Edge: A Jack Frost Fanfiction

Chapter 27

"Hey, no don't- that's not food," I had to hurry and snatch an ornament out of the clutches of a very hungry elf. What do these dingbats eat anyways? Do they just have a steady diet of stolen cookies? Maybe if they ate better they wouldn't be so dumb.

"Aren't they just charming?" Pitch quipped as he passed by, watching me struggle to yank an elf off of my leg with one hand, and keep another elf from eating Christmas décor with the other.

"Hey, you know you could at least help me if you're going to make comments like that."

"Sorry, no can do. On strict orders from the big man here. This is your punishment not mine. Plus," Pitch pauses to swat at the air with his hand before saying "Its so far," and then continues on into his study at the end of the corridor.

"Jerk," I muttered under my breath.

I was at my wits end with those pointy headed idiots, for the past hour they'd been doing nothing but making my life miserable. I'd been so busy trying to keep them from killing themselves and destroying everything around them, that I hadn't had any time to think about what I was going to say to Kate. I sighed audibly in defeat, causing the tiny jerks to pause in their mischief and look at me.

The elf that was previously gnawing on my leg waddled over to an ornately designed bench against the wall and patted the seat next to him.

Hold up, I pause in my struggles, did the entirety of their demeanor just change?

The second elf, not entirely sure of his place in this interaction, dropped what he was doing and looked to the other for what to do next. When I didn't move an inch, the first elf opened his mouth. For the first time since I first encountered one of the elves, I heard one speak.

Sitting there positively dumbstruck and slack jawed, I listened as a deep, smooth voice flowed from his tiny vocal chords.

"We don't normally do this, but we've given you a hard enough time today so I think you're due for a little explanation..." The elf waited to see if revealing his secret would be enough to get me to accept his invite to sit down.

It was not. In fact, the offer was completely forgotten until the elf reminded me.

"Well are you going to come sit?"

"S-sorry, I just..." I trailed off thinking about what to even say to this bizarre situation. "Okay, let me get this straight," I started while walking toward the bench to sit down next to him. "You could talk this whole time?"

The elf let out a deep chuckle and nodded. "Yes, and if you have any questions I'd be more than happy to answer them before I explain further."

Thinking for a moment I decided that first and foremost there was one thing I needed to know before the elf told me his wild life story. With that thought, I realized life stories were things I got told a lot now a days. "Actually, yeah. What's your name? So I can stop referring to you in my head as 'elf', 'pointy head', or just straight up 'idiot'."

"My name is Raymond, and my second in command over there is named Apollo. Was that your only question?"

Now I want to know who the hell named these elves, their names don't match their tiny bodies and annoying personalities one bit. I decided to keep that one to myself though, since I fully have that luxury again.

"No, none other than what the hell is going on."

"Haha, quite the comedian as always, Jack." Raymond let out a bellowing laugh that hurt my ears. "Well, as I'm sure you're well aware, you and the other guardians have a heavy weight on your shoulders. You have to always be ready to protect the children from evil, no matter the cost and keep them happy and believing. Manny knew if he was going to give this huge responsibility to someone, it would eventually take it's toll on their center and they would no longer be able to protect the children. He had this in mind when he sent us to help North. We're essentially the guardians of the guardians. Our purpose is to lighten the mood and occasionally give reports to Manny about the guardians."

"That doesn't really explain why you have never freaking spoken before..."

"Right, right, I'm getting there. So all of the elves are actually really intelligent- and great actors if I do say so myself- but in order to effectively take some of the stress away, we needed to be dumb. Sometimes its hard for some of us to keep from putting our two cents in and breaking character if we speak, so we just don't." The word 'some' was pointedly directed at Apollo, who shrank in on himself, embarrassed.

"So... why are you telling me this?" I questioned, not quite able to piece that together.

"Because Manny deemed it acceptable for us to intervene with you specifically if we saw you needing some guidance." Raymond explained stoically, as if that wasn't the most positively irritating reason he could have given.

I huffed. "So, after letting me wander around lost for hundreds of years, now Manny thinks I could use an intervention?"

"I understand your frustrations, but Manny wanted to try to let you find your own way, it was a miscalculation. So, on both of our behalves, I sincerely apologize for the lack of guidance." Raymond bowed his head in sincerity.

I wanted to be mad. I really really did, but when all is said and done, I probably wouldn't know Kate or be friends with Greg and Pitch if I hadn't gone through what I had. Plus, he kept looking up to see if I'd forgiven him yet with those stupid big elf eyes. How could I stay angry?

"Okay fine, you're forgiven. Now what am I doing so wrong that calls for an intervention?" I had a sick feeling that I knew what he was going to say.

"W-well," Raymond started losing his nerve and I instantly knew my suspicions we're right. "The other elves and I have noticed... some things and we know talking to Kate will be hard for you so we- I wanted to see if there was anything I could talk you through?"

This was an actual nightmare. But, I suppose Raymond is just trying his best to be helpful, and I do appreciate him not mentioning the self harm. I can't be sure but I suspect they know already. The Man on the Moon most certainly does, I just don't know how much is common knowledge among him and the elves.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, and decided to throw Raymond a bone. "Well Ray- can I call you Ray?"

"Well actually I-"

"Great. I got girl problems Ray. Big ones. Kate is probably furious at me, and I don't even know how to begin to apologize."

Raymond clears his throat at my teasing and powers through like a champ. " I do believe a simple, 'I apologize' worked quite well for me just now."

With a small scoff I retort, "yeah that's great advice, I just walk up to her and say 'I formally apologize for being such a dick-wad to you previously', and then what? Just stare at her until she forgives me? No that's how you get slapped, Ray my man."

Raymond rolled his eyes at that. "Then perhaps make her something? To show her how sorry you are?" He said, a little deflated that I rejected his first idea so quick.

"That's actually not a bad idea," I say as the wheels of an idea start to turn.

"Really?" Raymond said, perked up once again.

"Yeah," I said hurriedly as I bounce up off of the bench and pace around to fully solidify the plan in my head. "I know exactly what I'm going to make! Gotta go Rabies!"

Before I could get away, the exasperated elf huffed out, "excuse me? Not even a thank you? And my name is Raymond." Finally over my jokes I see. That's payback for chewing on my leg. He made it seem like it was all part of this plan to keep us happy, but I could tell past that sophisticated demeanor of his, Raymond enjoyed causing mischief just like me.

I laughed at that. "Okay but seriously, thank you Raymond," I said with a sincerity.

"Of course, Jack..." Raymond trailed off and looked down like he had more to say, so I waited. "And if you ever need to talk about anything else, I'm here."

Suddenly I realized how frustrating it must have been to know whatever it is Raymond and the others know about me but not being authorized to do anything about it.

This elf sitting job did not go how I thought it would.

Thank you so much for bearing with me also i'm pulling this whole story line out of my ass as i go.