ᵈᵃⁿᵈᵉˡⁱᵒⁿˢ ♡ 𝘐𝘵𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘪

Dᴀɴᴅᴇʟɪᴏɴs ----♡ IV

"I've wished for death more
times than I can count."

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❃

y/n had fallen asleep. her body aching from just sleeping all day, she had hoped to not have waken up this day. all she wanted to do was be alone and away.

but nonetheless, she looked outside her window, her eyes widen when she saw it was night. she had missed seeing the sun set with yuji, her heart hurt from that. she didn't deserve him- she didn't deserve to be friends with him. she probably broke his heart with just missing today of seeing the sun set.

she sat up on her bed, looking at her legs. they held the scars and bruises of what had happened at school. she ran her fingers over the scars, sucking in a breath at the sting that came from them when she traced them.

she wondered whether everything she went through was worth it. was the depression worth it? was anything worth anymore? was she worth anything that happen to it? but she breathed in and stood up. her legs slightly shaking, the pain she felt hurt them.

she knew even if she moved once more, the pain would become unbearable. she sat on  the floor and pulled her legs close to her chest, silent tears fell from her face.

she wished the world would end her suffering. she wished she could end her suffering, she wasn't needed and she knew that. so that would be best for her- she would do it.

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it was the next day, the rain slightly picking up. the umbrella y/n carried with her vibrated with the sound of the rain drops. she wasn't feeling to well, and the weather today added to it.

she stared down at the uniform skirt she wore, she felt damned for wearing a skirt or for even being here. was she really needed here? was she was really needed for it? what she jumped from the building of her school and ended it all? what she bled to death would anyone miss her?

she just walked towards her school. wondering if she would be okay, if she would be the same as she was walking in. or would she change walking walking out after school? she knew the answer to it, it was always the second one- she would go home with new bruises, new black eyes, or occasionally, her chest hurting from it being stepped on. she was always like this- treated as though she was just vermin.

after everything she's done, she was finally giving up on life.

y/n had decided, her life were to be the same as her mother's.

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-

her eyes were clear with tears. she wanted to cry.

she stared up at the group of girls that stared at down at her. their eyes held pure hatred, nothing showed through them. no remorse, no pity, nothing.

their faces held the make-up she hated to wear, she knew at some point, their faces were just a toy- to them at least. their laughter filled her ears, she could hear them making fun of her.

she was exactly what they wanted- a hole with nothing, a girl that held nothing and was weak. she was what made their ego boost. she was nothing.

her school skirt was wet with the rain water. the rain fell down on her, she was soaked, and would more than likely get  a cold from it.

'why don't you take a jump from the roof?'

'such a waste'

'she's nothing!'

'maybe that's why she's seen as nothing but trash here!'

'she'll be pregnant before anyone knows!'

'die!'

'die!'

'DIE!'

y/n looked down at her thighs, she gripped her skirt. pulling herself close to not crying about anything, she had to be strong- especially in front of those girls that made her like this.

she's never spoken in her life. and with that, many would think she was mute, but she wasn't. she chose not to speak, she chose to keep quiet, to hide her feelings and never show anything.

as she looked up, her hair sticking to her face, covering her. when she saw the girls holding scissors, her eyes widened. her hair was long, the most prized thing she's had within her childhood.

she backed up from them, her back hitting the metal fence. she wanted to scream, but something inside her wished they would do something else with those scissors to her. but nonetheless, she felt her hair be grabbed and kicked and squirmed around. the people that passed them only looked away, knowing that nothing would help her.

y/n quickly moved her head forwards, the gripped they had on her hair tighten. however, she didn't bother acknowledging it, she then tried getting their hands off her hair. nothing worked. that's when she gripped her hand around the wrist that was holding her hair, she tightened her grip, hoping that this would work. when she felt the grip loosen, she crawled forward. with that, she quickly stood up and ran.

she ran till she could no longer feel the need to breathe. however, she ended up in a alleyway. the rain was pouring now and she was now wishing she had those scissors to get rid of all the pain.

'I want to die.' as she walked out from the alleyway, she went home. she went home because she felt safe there, she was okay there. everything she needed was there. and that's all she needed.

nothing would help her now. no one cared about her anyways. her entire school saw her as the perfect target, it gave them the time to settle into something that'll get away from the bullies that were there.

as she walked inside that's when she saw it. the droplets from her soaking clothes echoed throughout the dark house, the place seemed to hold a grieving momentum.  it didn't seem right.

she walked up the stairs, she saw the blood that was pooling near her father's door. she in-audibly gasped, running towards the room. her mind instantly seeing the blood, the gun in whish ended her father's life.

as she walked over to her father's lifeless body, she felt nothing. she was no longer her. something at that moment died inside her, and she felt it.

'I am.. after all.... a useless child.'

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"and sadly, death takes
the wrong person every time."